Vill No One Think Of Ze Kinder??! by SBC

As some of you know, I'm in Germany at the moment. Until the rise of the Health Nazis there used to be a cigarette vending machine on almost every street corner in Germany. There are still a few although they are now all electronic and you have to swipe your ID card as proof of Age.

However walking around a rather picturesque town in Northern Germany this evening we found this machine...vending something entirely different!

Yep, you read it right: Condoms and Sex Toys! There was also, unlike the cigarette machines, NO slot to swipe your ID card so presumably it's fine for preteens to buy anal lube and mini-vibrators!

For reasons of your health Sodom and Gomorrah District Council no longer allow smoking on their premises.



  1. But what about a slot to prod your tool into?!

  2. "they are now all electronic and you have to swipe your ID card as proof of Age"

    A credit card would work the same way, thereby rendering the vending machine ban entirely pointless and draconian.

  3. DP - you can use your EC card (it's a debit card).

    N2D - check out the windows at a Beate Uhse if you can and ask yourself about display bans. Will your little daughter really want that 9" non-doctor just because it was visible?

    In a newspaper I read last week, they advertised a granny promising to make me come over the 'phone in 20 seconds. I wonder if my five-year old boy saw that and decided to take her up on it.

  4. @ Anon 20:55

    Uhm,you did get the whole-irony thing, didn't you? Personally I don't particularly care if there was FKK ('artistic' nudist kiddy pics) on sale on every there used to be when I was a kid. I just find the dichotomy of it all amusing.

    Little Hans MUST NOT BE EXPOSED TO THE EVIL TOBACCO but it's fine for him to buy a 'Travel Pussy'!

  5. SH, back from Germany. Unfortunately the day before leaving home and heading back to the UK my car decided to go kaputt. So most of the 'tobacco money' went on that :(

    In the end I only brought in my MIL :(

    I went Calais-Dover as a foot passenger carrying the tobacco, while sending The Bestes Frau In The World and Youngest Useless Object on the ferry in the, repaired, car.

    When one gets off the P&O ferry as a foot passenger one is then bus'ed to The Sked Shed which was VOID OF LIFE! So much for the carefully worded Statement Of Truth, all the documentary evidence and the two spy cameras!

  6. Think of it as insurance SBC. You don't always need it but you'd be as sick as a parrot if something did happen and you didn't have it!

    However, l do understand your feelings about it as l have gone through the same. You prepare for battle and the enemy dont turn up!

  7. I'd even made up a 'NON VERBATIM' stamp which I had intended to whip out if called upon to sign their notebook etc!

    Oh and you're right about the Righteous getting 'braver' as they get nearer Blighty...I 'light' up my e-smoke just before docking and there were lots of nasty glances and muttered under breath comments. Although quite a few people were also interested in a 'wow, haven't seen one of those before'.

  8. I know the feeling well. All geared up for a battle, (but trying to remain inconspicuous).

    Then you walk through unmolested, and have to cope with the adrenalin and testosterone come-down! :=)

  9. "Then you walk through unmolested, and have to cope with the adrenalin and testosterone come-down! :=)"

    Fucking Sked Prick Teasers!

    *dons "I went to Dover and all I got was Blue Balls" * t-shirt.

  10. Hmm, don't know if it's still the case, but in Denmark they used to sell porn videos on street vending machines...


"In the eyes of the Tribunal the review letter contained several preconceptions, prejudgments and non-sequiturs"

"the absurdity of this reason is demonstrated by simply stating it"

"We therefore find that Mr Sked misdirected himself as to the Policy in carrying out the review and his decision is therefore one that no reasonable review officer could have arrived at."

... commonly known here at N2D as 'Skeds' ... that is to say these are Judges comments regarding UKBA Review Officer Ian Sked's reasons for rejecting peoples appeals against seizures.

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