These seem to be on the counter of shop I go in at the moment so I thought I’d get one to road test. Wannabe bastard love-child of Clarkson and Nick O’Teen that I am. Ever since someone gave me a cheap Chinese e-cig kit I’ve been a fan of the things. They are pretty fucking close to The Real Thing and far better than those stupid patches for taking the ‘edge’ off my periods of enforced Departure Lounge Cold Turkey....and most are USB chargeable. Does it get any cooler than that? I think not.
Anyway these Nano “Disposable” aren’t rechargeable which is fair enough although it will no doubt upset the Cosmic Tree Hugging Brigade, they are supposed to be disposable. They are meant for Friday Nights.
Their price reflects it. They cost the same as a packet of premium smokes. By comparison Rechargeable E-Cigs
work out at pennies a time.
Ok, so what’s the SP?
The first thing you notice once you finally manage to get the fucking plasticals off (Pro Tip: USE A PAIR OF NEEDLE NOSE PLIERS) is the weight and length of it. Screw the thing together and you have something with the BMI and metallic feel of a Mon Blanc pen. It is far too heavy to want to have hanging off your lower lip or balanced between your fingers.
It feels almost as unreal as those stupid dummy plastic NHS fags.
When you try and ‘smoke’ it there is a horrible loud whistling sound with every inhale. Probably meant to alert everyone in the pub to the fact that there is a SOCIAL LEPER present.
Inorder to get a mouthful of ‘smoke’ you have to suck hard enough to raise blood blisters on your lips and its the rise in blood pressure and not the nicotine that’s making you feel light headed.
I thought I was going to have a stroke.
So does it at least have the ‘real tobacco taste’?
Only if your favourite cigarette tastes like the coffee-caramel center in that box of chocolates you buy in desperation at the garage on the way home on your wedding anniversary.
I’ve asked four different smoking acquaintances to try it and they have all said the same thing: ie “tastes like treacle” and “far too heavy and long”.
DON’T BOTHER. In an emergency it might be better than nothing but personally I’d rather just suck the nicotine stains on my fingers.
ps. The Red packets are 'tobacco taste' and the Green Menthol....incase you're 13 and female.
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