Guest post by SBC

They’re called “The Knock” because they don’t.

(...Or NEVER NEVER NEVER sell on that tobacco!)

Chances are that part of the reason you shop in the EU is because you simply can’t afford to pay our Big Society’s BIG prices.
Like me, do you usually have more month left at the end of the money, right?  Baked beans week sound familiar?

At some point, you are going to think about selling on some of that Benelux-baccy, those spanish smokes, you’ve brought back and make some coin. Chances are you have mates who offer you money for your tobacco or fags and who will say things like “bring me back 400 Mayfair, I’ll give you the cash in advance"


I’ll repeat that for the more ‘
Norfolk’ among us: DON’T!

Gather round Boys and Girls, it’s story time:

The living room turns into a disco of strobing blue light. No , I haven’t been drinking that home made absinthe,  and it isn’t an alien abduction.

Blues ‘n Toons filling our street.

The Bestes
t Wife In The Whole Wide World turns to me and asks  where the kids are. But, for once, the Peelers aren’t here for our good hearted but semi criminal kids (yeah, my parenting skills suck)....and anyway the police know that if they want my offspring then all they have to do is phone me and say “Johann, tell your eldest he’s nicked and needs to get his sorry arse to the nick asap”.

I wander out on the the street, nosy parker that I am. I can count at least ten police cars , marked and unmarked. Hell, I didn’t know we even had that many in Norfolk. I can see they’ve got the K9 and the CSI parked up at the end of the road and I’m guessing that tinted 4x4 is ‘tactical response’.

Didn’t know we had Muslims living in our street.?

We don’t.

They are outside ‘Bill The Builder’s’ House, so called because he is a builder. He is also known locally as ‘Baccy Bill’ cos he sells Baccy. The
name’s the game. Infact he sells it for a ‘firm’ who bring it over by the lorry load from Gran Caneria or some place. Good gear too, no Chinese fake stuff cut with cyanide. Quality cigs and Golden Virgin.  He sells a lot to the local OAP’s , saves them eating dog food to survive the 8 months of winter we have a year here.

I wander over to one of the Uniforms that I know. First name terms, getting the SP. Its a customs’ operation. Mrs ‘Bill The Builder’ has walked out on him and saved herself the cost of a divorce by grassing him up to the ‘revenoo’.

Customs Officers are bringing sacks of tobacco and boxes of cartons out of the house. They are also bringing out Fishfinger packets full of £10 notes found in the freezer.

Bill The Builder gets 5 years at Her Majesty’s Grave Displeasure, he’ll be out in 3 and he’ll come out broke, the worst way to come out.  He loses his cars and his house too (Mrs Bill shot herself in the foot there, stupid c****). True story.

You see people, the State takes being stolen from real seriously. You mug an old lady and you’ll get Community Service but you get caught evading Duty then you can forget the next three years of your life AS A MINIMUM. Anything more than a couple of hundred quid’s worth of evaded duty means prison time. Sure as night follows day AND you’ll lose everything you own...unlike if you’d been caught selling smack to school kids.

Its tempting. It IS easy money. You sell that pouch that cost you a fiver for £7 or more, it finances your next trip over , your mates idolize you and women fall at your feet and offer payment in kind with nicotine stained lips.

You WILL get caught. It is in the nature of the buisness. People talk, smokers tell each other where to buy good cheap baccy, friends tell friends. Suddenly one morning your front door will fly off its hinges.

The ‘Knock’ don’t need warrants, they don’t even need ‘reasonable cause’, they can enter and seize everything you’ve ever owned day and night. They are a law unto themselves and they will not worry about legal trifles such as habeaus corpus or PACE cos stealing from the government is, according to themselves, the most heinous crime going. ....Ian Huntley would have more rights than Jones The Baccy  or YOU!

Post by SBC


  1. l see that they haven't caught his brother Bob.

    When any of my family go abroad they always bring back smokes for the family. Of course they are all gifts - honest!

    Stuff the UKBA and UK taxes!

  2. "Stuff the UKBA and UK taxes! " I don't disagree. FFS everytime I look at the 'UK DUTY PAID' written in big letters on the back of a packet of smokes i have to take a Zantac and kick the dawg and/or The Wife.

    The guy I buy black market tobacco from at the moment is almost out of time, infact he's 'well over due' to put it in Cant. He's had a good run but he is going to lose not only his legitimate business, houses,cars and villa in Greece but spend the next few years waking up with a pot of his own piss. He 'works' for himself and not for a 'firm' like 'Bill The Builder' did ie he just started bringing back a bit of this and that after he got his villa in the sun...just to pay the airfare.
    I just wanted to warn people who come to this blog and who decide, under SH's expert guidance, to take advantage of their RIGHT to buy abroad NOT to make the mistake a lot of other people have. Evading duty is not a misdemeanor, not just a slap on the wrist and the chances are you will get caught.

  3. Shinar is so right. It's very difficult to see your mates paying full price, and they think you're an arse for refusing to sell them some of yours, but don't do it.

    The solution is easy, they just have to go get their own. Flights are cheap, and even if you can't afford to buy a lot the saving is well worth it.

    You can give birthday gifts, but there has to be nothing in return. So that effectively limits it to your kids? I'm lucky if I get a bar of chocolate on my birthday!

    This site is NOT about smuggling. It's about buying where your goods are cheapest. I'm not a fan of the EU experiment, but this is one definite advantage. The government don't like it, but the EU is about free trade. They'll never be able to take that away.

    Go buy your own! Do it! Stop funding the smoking ban!

  4. "I'm lucky if I get a bar of chocolate on my birthday!"


  5. totally agree with zaphod. I hate saying no to mates but you just have to. I knew someone once who used to sell it, it had him in the pub everyday waiting for his customers so he was spending money to make a bit of money if that makes sense. He also got knocks on his door at all times during the night with people running out of baccy, I couldn't put up with that. Nope sorry folks, what i bring over is for me and the odd packet for smokers in the family, try and stick within the law, customs dont need any excuse so don't give them an easy one

  6. Truth is that UKBA's tactics work on many people and they are just too scared to go for their tobacco themselves. So, they go to white van man instead. ln reality UKBA is supporting the smuggling industry.

    People pay white van man how much extra for such as a pouch of tobacco? £4? This means that they are paying an extra £240 for 3kg worth. People won't pay UK tax but will pay white van man tax.

    lt's about time our fellow citizens got some backbone and shopped abroad ... but l won't hold my breath!

    This site gives them everything they need to do that. lf they have any questions we answer them. lf they are appealing against a UKBA seizure, we help them. We publish all our fights with UKBA in detail, inc docs and audio which are all downloadable. All this is free! ... and still they buy off white van man!

    Yes, l understand that some people don't have the resources to go EU shopping but many more do! ln these hard times it makes financial sense to do so. Even by getting a loan to do it they'd be far better off but 'no' ... they continue to let themselves be intimidated by the UKBA and in the hands of white van man. BAH!

  7. Well, what happened to this lot? - I can tell you S.F.A.

    The whole thing is a charade, VAT fraud is at epidemic levels and the perps are well connected. There's several books out there detailing the sticky palms of UK Customs, I've seen them thieving Canary Island produce (tomatoes) from trucks into people carriers - as bold as brass...

    It'd be good to see a change, but evidence from the past shows that enforcers that aren't controlled properly (and ours aren't) rarely get their just deserts...

    Cigarette prices rocket, 3 million plus immigrants get in - no problem - and day shoppers to Belgium get harassed for going about their wholly legal activity.

    Something's broke surely?

  8. Indeed Basket Case... indeed.

    Oh.. and for the sake of completeness, the epicentre of (£2 billion a year)VAT fraud is that jewel in the desert Dubai...

    And guess who's living there - no doubt in some comfort...

    Keravnos AKA "The Thunderbolt"

  9. Hmmm £2 Billion annually? You know what they say; "A billion here, a billion there and very soon you are talking about REAL money"

  10. @SH

    At our MC we get tobacco for all the families. We also smoke in our clubhouse but get no shit from anyone. We even have a few WW2 veterans come in once or twice a week cos they were kicked out of their pub when smoking ban came in. The pub is now closed down so serve the bastards right. How our country treats our WW2 vets is a fucking disgrace. Goonies take note, we also get the old boys their baccy too so fuck off. lf that upsets you feel free to come round.


"In the eyes of the Tribunal the review letter contained several preconceptions, prejudgments and non-sequiturs"

"the absurdity of this reason is demonstrated by simply stating it"

"We therefore find that Mr Sked misdirected himself as to the Policy in carrying out the review and his decision is therefore one that no reasonable review officer could have arrived at."

... commonly known here at N2D as 'Skeds' ... that is to say these are Judges comments regarding UKBA Review Officer Ian Sked's reasons for rejecting peoples appeals against seizures.

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