UKBA see tobacco but not 'drugs' or 'explosives'

An IT  guy l know has just returned from Belgium where he was working for a week. lt's rare that he gets these jobs were he has to leave the country so on his return he bought himself 6kg of tobacco (3kg over the 'guidelines'). Upon his return to the UK by ferry to the port of Hull he was waylaid by the welcoming UKBA dressed as robocops ... oohhh scary. He was a prime target to be stopped being a lone passenger, dressed in t-shirt and jeans, dragging an overnight case and carrying a large computer bag.

He went through the usual pantomime of the informal interview and then had to put his baggage through the xray machine even though he told them he had brought back the tobacco. lt being 3kg over the 'guidelines' he then had to endure the A-J questioning. Usual stuff about where he bought them, how much he smokes, can he roll a cigarette, does he have a lighter, how often does he go abroad, his financial and job status , blah blah blah and the added trick trap questions.

None of this was a problem to him as he knows exactly what to say and carried docs to back him up. So apart from being held-up for 45 mins. he left with his goods intact.

But here's the interesting bit, not only did his flight bag go through the x-ray machine but also his computer bag. The tobacco was all in his flight bag but none in his computer bag. However, what was in his computer bag was 2 resealable plastic bags with powder of about 4oz weight each. One is a white powder and the other is a brown powder. These are his reserve emergency addict supplies ... coffee and coffemate. He drinks coffee and can't go without it and as some hotels are very stingy on the coffee supplies in the rooms, he takes his own ... even when visiting friends! On this occasion it was not needed as the hotel gave him as much as he wanted. He brought back quite a few of the sachets from the hotel ... along with the free toiletries (my sister is manic about this, she calls it mine sweeping). Also in his bag was a squidgy gel that he has to use with his left hand. He recently had surgery on it after an accident and has to use the squeeze gel to build the muscles back up and restore full flexibility..

None of these items were picked up by the UKBA despite them being 2 bags of powder and a lump of gel. l don't think l have to explain what the powder could've been but the gel, for those that don't know, looks similar to plastic explosive when viewed through x-ray. Also in his bag was a number of tools including a multi-meter, screwdrivers and cables.

The UKBA will continue to protect you ... from tobacco! Feel safer now?


  1. Do you not consider it of vital importance that should you be blown up by a terrorist they should be clean, wholesome and free of second hand tobacco fumes? One must maintain standards you know!

  2. Oh, l fear no ships. Terrorists obviously don't attack ships just aircraft. That's why there's no scanners etc at Hull or at the other end ... Zeebrugge/Rotterdam. Liquids? ... as much as you like. l mean, ships are so safe aren't they? When have you ever heard of anyone attacking ships? That'd be like pirates and they don't exist ... oops, think l've spotted a flaw.

  3. Hardly surprising a million and a half, illegal
    immigrants,terrorists,murderers,gun runners,
    porn pushers,sex slaves ,pickpockets and sundry
    criminal elements make a bee line for Britain.
    As long as they dont have a few pouches of
    Golden Virginia on them ,they are on a sure
    Who shall we blame for this total idiocy.
    No need to look far,look around you.
    They surround us, including SOME blog and web
    site banner wavers.
    Wherever you look,backstabbers,apathetic toadies,shysters,cowards,appeasers,Quislings,
    Judases,spineless cockroaches,chicken livered
    buroboys,cap doffing publicans,hard drive heroes,keyboard wizards,digital demagogues,
    wafflers,whimperers,bleaters,mumblers,two bit scribes,apologists ,denialists and a few more
    I cant put my fingeer on
    There are plenty of good quality hard honest men in Britain,but who is looking for them and
    where ?

    Past a joke.

  4. St. Moritz (patron saint of smokers)Saturday, August 28, 2010 11:16:00 pm

    This is another example of the brain power of the employees of UKBA, all fucking jobsworths and no fucking idea!

  5. l went on a Hull-Bruges mini-cruise and there was no security whatsoever when boarding at Hull. No x-rays, nothing at all. Unless you count one P&O member of staff checking a womans bag in case she was taking alcohol onboard the ship!

    But coming back in was another matter entirely but only for those bringing in tobacco!

  6. dont know about that reality prog Border Force 2. should be called Border Farce


"In the eyes of the Tribunal the review letter contained several preconceptions, prejudgments and non-sequiturs"

"the absurdity of this reason is demonstrated by simply stating it"

"We therefore find that Mr Sked misdirected himself as to the Policy in carrying out the review and his decision is therefore one that no reasonable review officer could have arrived at."

... commonly known here at N2D as 'Skeds' ... that is to say these are Judges comments regarding UKBA Review Officer Ian Sked's reasons for rejecting peoples appeals against seizures.

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