Smoking Hot declares War!

My battles with UKBA have only been what one would call 'defensive'. This is because it is the UKBA who choose the 'when and where'. Some of these stop and searches may have been completely random although even this is questionable as the main criteria for stop and searches is predominately British Citizens. However this definitely changed regarding myself in these past few months. The last 2 times l have been stopped and searched was deliberate targeting by the UKBA. This isn't because the UKBA 'intelligence units' have evidence to show that on previous occasions l've been stopped and searched and had excise goods confiscated. lndeed, l've never had so much as a written warning in 20 years so is there any intelligence at all in UKBA's intelligence units?

My 'crime' is that l am well travelled and l won't be subservient to them and l always question the legality of their methods and tactics. Not only do l do this at the scene of the stop and search but l then write formal complaints. l don't expect any satisfaction from these complaints at all as they are dealt with 'in house'. ln my experience the UKBA Complaints Team do not look at the actual complaint but just block it by replying with 'cut and paste' ..... and the obligatory UKBA operational 'secrecy' that details cannot be released because is not in the public interest! What this translates to is that it is not in the UKBA's interest! They don't want it out in the public domain exactly what sort of organisation they really are.The only reason l write the complaints is to have them documented ... for my own benefit, not theirs.

Make no mistake, these 'public servants' do everything they can to maintain their unaccountability for the methods and tactics used by the UKBA. This includes secrecy and downright lying ... as can be seen here.

l can handle it but what about those that can't?  These people either are too frightened to purchase what is their legal right to do so or do buy what they believe is legitimate (which it is) only for the UKBA to ambush them when they return to the UK. Read their experiences again  .... now tell me we live in a free democratic country!

Well lets see how the UKBA react to this ... l'm taking the war to them. No more wondering what will happen when l return to the UK. No more wondering if the UKBA are waiting for me. No more of any of this ... l'm going for them! l'll seek them out, ask them to identify themselves (don't want someone in fancy dress), then l shall demand my luggage is searched whether l'm carrying excise goods or not. Seeing as the UKBA take delight in recording actual confiscations, l shall want it recording whether there was no confiscation (if l'm carrying excise goods) or l wasn't carrying excise goods at all. Remember folks, if you are stopped and searched carrying excise goods (tobacco/cigarettes) that ALL your previous trips abroad will be deemed as bringing back excise goods ... whether you did or not! l shall change that.

lt's going to an interesting summer. l've lots of friends to visit, lots of places l want to see and l've decided to start now.  Of course if l was a smuggler l'd avoid those ports/airports where l've been hassled and targeted ... but l'm not, so those places will be at the top of my list! lf l see any of my fellow citizens being harassed by the UKBA, l'm going to offer my fellow citizens my assistance.

The UKBA will no longer choose the when and where of future battles with me .... l will!

Smoking Hot is going to War! ... and l'm not alone!

The Resistance are on the offensive!


  1. Looks like the UKBA have a long hot uncomfortable summer ahead of them.

    I almost feel sorry for them. Almost.....

    ....ok NOT at all!

  2. Perhaps a stupid idea but how about having some "Jolly Roger" t-shirts made up with the resistance logo on the front and the back a statement to the UKBA along the lines of 'Dear UKBA,I am bringing in cigarettes for my own use. I will challenge any let, hinderance or harassemnt by you towards myself or others and demand that you give your reasons for targeting me ...blah...blah...'

    You could even have stickers made up with the same Statement/Declaration of war for people to stick on their imports....that'd piss the UKBA off.... searching a bag to find 10 cartons of B&H each with a sticker proclaiming 'I will NOT be subdued by your illegal scare tatics, I know my rights and will challenge legally any attempt to impede my importing these goods'

  3. Go for it SH. I'm not travelling abroad this year (I've winter fuel bills to pay) so no cheap tobacco for me, however I support you in your efforts.

  4. Are 'customs' now making less searches?
    I usually go by coach and prior to last year we were interigated on nearly every trip, but three trips last year and one this year we were never stopped by 'customs'.

  5. Anon 11.56 ... the sheer volume of passengers returning from the EU make it impossible for UKBA to stop and search everyone. However this does not mean that the UKBA are making less stop and searches. lndeed, if you saw the prog on Stanstead Airport on Ch 5 you would've heard that there is now a crackdown. lt was stated by an undercover policeman (totally useless by the way)that the guidelines issued by UKBA are no longer being adhered to. Although their literature issued to passengers says 3200 cigarettes, they now have a policy of saying anything over 2500 cigarettes will result in questioning. lt shows the complete lack of intelligence utilised by UKBA policy makers. 2,500? ... what a joke, they can't even get this right. Cartons of cigarettes come in 200's yet they are saying 12 and half cartons ... idiots!

  6. SBC ... there are already stickers out there. l am however working on something along the lines of what you suggest. lndeed, my 'war' will include this ... a sort of road-test you could say. :)

  7. "they now have a policy of saying anything over 2500 cigarettes will result in questioning"

    They shouldn't be setting any arbitrary limit. Its an attempt to circumvent the Law. If they want to catch the baccy smugglers then they need to gather intelligence in the towns of the UK. By their very nature the 'white van men' are well known and easily accessible. Just go to any pub and stand outside talking to the guy rolling dutch tobacco. Hassling legitimate shoppers and setting inane 'limits' is just the government's way of trying to get out of complying with an EU law designed to protect us, the citizens, from obscene levels of duty.

  8. Excellent idea SH, and I, along with everyone else who has to travel back home past these overbearing self-serving highwaymen, will be wishing you well.

  9. SH - We can do a special deal on t-shirts with whatever you need on them.

  10. you deffo got some SH pity the rest havent. theyr all behind you, way fucking behind you infront of their keyboards. thats whats wrong with this country, too many keyboard heroes. tossers.

    your not a 1 percenter are you by any chance? :-0

  11. Prop, strange but I wondered the same thing (the 1% thang I mean), he does have some of the 'tude.

  12. Despite the rumours, Zaphod is not dead ... his computer is, or was ... well is. He got a new one and is frantically trying to extract everything from his old hard drive. Yes, l hear you all say 'backup' but we all have those good intentions but it'll never happen to us ... will it? :)

    Zaphods main worry, and l do mean worry, is his i-tunes and his revered playlists <<<< a true work of art!

    1%'er? ... me? >>> more like 40%'er ... pure JD!

  13. .... send us some free samples and we'll see. :)

  14. SBC ... the 'tude?

    Whatcha talkin bout Willis? :)

  15. l like your humour SH but l do see what you are doing. lf you can document and verify your complete travel history the UKBA cant use it against you. l have been stopped and searched with no baccy on me but they just say that you can go and that's it. They don't take down any details because they dont get a result. A few months later l was stopped again with 3.5kg of tobacco that l bought for personal use. l paid the duty, had the reciept but they accussed me of bringing in baccy on my previous trip abroad. l told them that they'd stopped me that time and l had no baccy. They said they had no record of that and didnt believe me. They took the lot. Bastards the lot of them. l shall do what your doing from now on. Oh yeah l forgot, they documented this search when they took my baccy and gave me a piece of paper to say so and l had to sign it.

  16. Tim ... you are 100% correct. When a shopper returns from the EU carrying no tobacco goods and either goes straight through or is firstly stopped and searched and then allowed to proceed ... the shopper thinks that's fine. WRONG! they've just given the UKBA a weapon to use against them the next time they bring tobacco products back and UKBA stops them.


    There is nothing to say you did not bring back tobacco goods.

    No computer records, no notebook statement, no documents or recording whatsoever!

    We have to educate shoppers to change this because the UKBA won't. We have to protect ourselves.

    l'm in the fortunate position of being able to try this out. The UKBA won't like it, smugglers won't like it but l don't give a damn about either of them. Until we make a stand the injustice will continue.

    l know l joke about but it has a serious side to it. We either do something about it or stfu and take it up where the sun don't shine ... and say thank you whilst they're doing it!

    Well, l will not consent ... period!

    Anyone else?

  17. dont think l want to see customs every time l come back

  18. Anon 08.58 ... Duh! ..No silly, only when you are not carrying tobacco/cigarettes. There is a myriad of reasons why you wouldn't be bringing back tobacco/cigarettes ... price, luggage space, blah blah blah.

    lt's no use finding customs officers if you are carrying such as you are only proving their case for them. Find customs officers when you are carrying no excise goods!

    You need to establish that not every time you travel you have bought excise goods. That way their balance of probabilities tilts towards your advantage.

  19. understand now. yeh it's a good idea. thx

  20. What happened to the good old 'innocent until proven guilty'? This is typical of the UKBA's illegal tactics. If they have no record of you NOT having brought back goods on a previous trip then they cannot ASSUME you did. I shouldn't need to prove (and fuck knows how) that I came back 'empty' on a previous trip.

  21. SH, did you catch the prog last night about the "SHOCK! HORROR!! I*L*L*E*G*A*L TOBACCO TRADE" SHOCK! ALIENS!!? The bad and biased journalism aside it was actually quite interesting. Firstly it reenforced my warnings about 'The Knock' but secondly made clear that the bulk of White Van Man tobacco is nasty counterfeit stuff from China.

  22. Linky? But of course. Watch it online here:

  23. Please SH if you are on eyetube or know anyone who is can you post the vid on my blog up there for safety m8, this is really important, it proves a mans innocence

  24. l watched the prog on Panorama and what a complete crock of garbage.

    l know there is counterfeit tobacco as you get that at the resorts abroad from street traders. lt is foul and umsmokeable so you don't go back.

    You don't do that to regular customers at markets becuse you wouldn't have any customers in a very short time! lf you sell people crap .... they won't come back!

    What it does do is enforce the logic of going and getting your own.

    lncidentally, if all these large counterfeit gangs are supplying over 50% of tobnacco ... why oh why are UKBA wasting their time on legitimate EU Shoppers?

  25. The Pano-drama film was interesting as it reinforced my warnings about 'The Knock' and the illegal selling of tobacco. Although, no doubt because they were on camera, The Knock went about things in an unusually polite manner. Like I said, they are called 'The Knock' because they don't.

    Chilling was the smirking Customs man after the raid telling us that they had confiscated the guy's cars, cash & would probably charge him too. That's right, they confiscated his property without any proof that those items were the result of immoral earnings. All they need is an assumption of guilt, no proof.

    On the subject of 'fake' tobacco, the report mirrored my own experiences. I used to buy my baccy at a local market until about 3 years ago when I suddenly kept getting sold fake gear and none of the sellers had any genuine anymore.

    SH is right when he says that the fake stuff can be revolting and also dangerous. I remember one particular fake B&H that made my head spin and my blood pound so hard that I thought I was going to have a stroke!

    But a lot of the fake stuff is actually quite smokeable, it is just several times more toxic than a 'real' ciggy (which the report highlighted) That's why people continue to buy fake stuff at markets and car boots across the land.

    Hell, smoking fake B&H even became a 'status' symbol among the chavs of norfolk.


"In the eyes of the Tribunal the review letter contained several preconceptions, prejudgments and non-sequiturs"

"the absurdity of this reason is demonstrated by simply stating it"

"We therefore find that Mr Sked misdirected himself as to the Policy in carrying out the review and his decision is therefore one that no reasonable review officer could have arrived at."

... commonly known here at N2D as 'Skeds' ... that is to say these are Judges comments regarding UKBA Review Officer Ian Sked's reasons for rejecting peoples appeals against seizures.

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