25 x UKBA Guidelines and 12.5 x UKBA Guidelines brought home!

Just a quick small update as l have to prepare for my flight to Bulgaria.

Zaphod was indeed arrested and unarrested once again. lt happened on our return from Gdansk to Doncaster Airport (where he got arrested last time). We got through passport control with no problem and then waited at the carousel for our luggage. We waited and waited as all the other passengers were getting their's. l was wandering around listening to my i-pod whilst Zaphod stood patiently waiting. lt became obvious that ours were to be last so it was obvious the luggage had been x-rayed on arrival. Game on!

l immediately went over and joined Zaphod as we knew UKBA's first line of attack would be we were trying to appear as though we were not travelling with each other. So, myself and Zaphod sat down together and chatted whilst everybody else got their luggage. The carousel then stopped with no luggage to be seen and just 3 people left waiting for said luggage... me, Zaphod and a Polish lad. Finally the carousel started up and the luggage appeared. The Polish lad got his first and he was away to the exit (think he'd be unaware of what was waiting for him).

Zaphod and l waited till we both had our luggage and then set off together and joked about what was awaiting us. We must have bemused the people watching us on camera. They'd either think we did not know the UKBA were waiting for us or were wondering why we were laughing.

Sure enough the posse of UKBA highwaymen were there at the exit and off to the room to the right was the Polish lad getting his suitcase emptied of all his cigs. The fun then started, we refused to consent to go into the room.  We hit them on 2 fronts, Zaphod with the illegality of the stop and me with refusing any involvement with any UKBA officers as l had an ongoing serious allegation against them being investigated by the Ombudsman. l won't go into details now but suffice to say it quickly developed into a standoff whereupon we said we were going outside for a cigarette and once they had decided what action they were going to take they could come and tell us.

So thats what we did, we left with our luggage and went outside and had a cig (well a few). No-one stopped us, they looked bemused at what to do so did nothing to stop us going outside. l kid you not, we were outside with our luggage ... and not a UKBA officer to be seen! No, we didn't run off ... we were in 'the game' and it was getting interesting. :)

Finally they came out after 10 mins or so and this is where Zaphod got arrested as he refused to go back into the airport. l was left with 2 UKBA officers with whom l conversed whilst having more cigarettes. Finally, l took them inside the airport as it was getting cold.

What happened next is a long story and don't have time for it now but this l will say ... the UKBA officers were nice and polite and did not try any dirty tricks, use any threats, didn't try to trip us up with trick questions and were in fact ... jolly nice fellows. We took cigarettes breaks when we wanted and they even went and got us coffees when we asked for them ... and even offered us coffees when we didn't ask for them. We were truly astounded at how nice they were. How can we have been so lucky to find such nice and fair officers?  l mean, we've never encountered such before and l'm sure nothing has changed.

Ahhhh wait, there is one thing though ... we told them they were being RECORDED and everything they said would be used as evidence if it came to a court case!  :)

At the end, Zaphod left with his cigarettes (25 times over the UKBA guidelines, 20,000 cigarettes) and l left with my cigarettes (12.5 times over the guidelines, 10,000 cigarettes). We refused to sign their notebooks and refused their Notice 1 leaflets. We were not issued with any warning letters either.

We'll both do our own more detailed account of the incident later.

So folks remember ... make sure you RECORD everything and let UKBA know you are RECORDING them! Rest of the advice is on the site. Stay safe!

Special Mention

SBC ... we used your FOI to full effect. Without it we could not have pushed them as far as we did. Because of you, we KNEW we could record them and they could NOT refuse.They then knew that every action they took was recorded and were accountable for.  Our victory is in no small part down to you.

ln your debt,
                      Zaphod and Smoking Hot

ps The Polish lad lost all his cigarettes. Alas, by the time we ourselves got into the Sked Shed his fate had already been decided and summarily judged upon.


  1. We strongly recommend that other people don't get themselves arrested, but I'm researching the consequences of refusing to open my case. Don't try this at home!

    I did eventually open up under protest, but I hope I've got enough on tape for a charge of wrongful arrest and assault.

    They were stunned by SBC's FOI that allows us to openly record them! Nice one, SBC! It made them behave themselves.

    One of the cops who turned up asked nicely that he wouldn't turn up on "Facebook, etc". He was the one who arrested me on the plane last time. He behaved himself this time, so we'll edit him out. He didn't get involved anyway.

    SH will have to edit the recording down severely, it's too gappy for the internet generation's short attention span.

    We got coffees, and even went outside for a smoke break, with luggage, unchaperoned! (They were hoping we'd leg it.) :-)

  2. Zaphod , did they arrest you under the Terrorism Act?

    "They were stunned by SBC's FOI that allows us to openly record them! Nice one, SBC! It made them behave themselves."

    I'm wondering how long it will be before they try and change their own guidance to disallow recordings...any bets?

  3. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LF3T0arJ8l0/TrUSjQnSa7I/AAAAAAAAAF8/rGOjQMhs8ig/s1600/DSC00131.JPG

    [From the 'Mugged By The UKBA' blog.]

    looks interesting, I wish I could read the small print and find out who issued it. Finally some decent advice for shoppers from Big T perhaps?...it's only missing a link to this site!!

  4. Fooking well done! Luv the way you not only advise but then show your advice works. Kudos

  5. "Fooking well done! Luv the way you not only advise but then show your advice works. Kudos"

    'bout sums them, SH and Z, up! This site's offsite and offside Troll must be under his bridge weeping bitter tears right now!

  6. Agree with SBC. This has to be best site on the web for smokers. You look at the voice of the smoker FOREST and it's f'ing mute whilst N2D are so vocal it's deafening. There's no link to this site from FOREST and there f'ing well should be. SH and Z dont do the dinners, functions and other crap, they get out there and actually do something. FOREST should hang it's head in shame.

  7. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this latest episode.

    There must be plenty of other 'official interviews' by other U.K. Departments that would have very different outcomes if recordings were made of the bullying tactic employed by the jobsworths.

  8. I find it shocking that when they have to carry out such interviews fairly and honestly they don't get results. How many people have been robbed by them? It's a disgrace.

  9. Dear Smoking, In Saturday's Money Letters section of the Times, a man reported that on returning from Belgium by train, customs told him the cigarette allowance had been reduced by 75% from Oct 1st. He said he understood that any amount of goods could be brought in from the EU for personal use and wanted to know whether the customs officer's ruling was legal. Will be interesting to see whether UKBA respond. Not often this gets aired in the quality MSM. Am emailing moneyletters@thetimes.co.uk referring them and their readers to your excellent website.

  10. Anon 16.35 ... I am en-debited to you for bringing this to my attention and your kind comments. l will be interested to see the response to your e-mail to the times.

  11. Fecking excellent my friends, well done again, and again well done. I am grinning like the cheshire cat thinking of the two of you against a bunch of hapless goonies...keep up the good work!


"In the eyes of the Tribunal the review letter contained several preconceptions, prejudgments and non-sequiturs"

"the absurdity of this reason is demonstrated by simply stating it"

"We therefore find that Mr Sked misdirected himself as to the Policy in carrying out the review and his decision is therefore one that no reasonable review officer could have arrived at."

... commonly known here at N2D as 'Skeds' ... that is to say these are Judges comments regarding UKBA Review Officer Ian Sked's reasons for rejecting peoples appeals against seizures.

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