Why the UKBA are hated. ##UPDATED##

a.k.a UKBA
As we get more and more people asking for help because the UKBA have robbed them, we discover how low the UKBA will go to reach their targets. l thought that we'd reach as low as they could get but they keep lowering the the bar. One of our recent cries for help is such a case.

We have a man and wife, both smokers, with 4 children. He works hard for his family and that work entails overtime, night work and is often away from home.They have their own home (mortgaged) and pay all their bills and taxes. The wife handles the finances and in these current hard economic times she decided it would be a good idea to buy their tobacco abroad as it would save them hundreds of pounds. She knows that she could buy it off  'white van man' but sees that as being morally wrong. So, she applied for a passport and the trip was arranged. lt was her first trip abroad.

They went on a coach trip to Belgium and bought their tobacco. They kept to the UKBA guidelines so there would be no problems. What could possibly go wrong?

Step in UKBA ... they stopped this couple and took them for interrogation. They seperated them up and went through all their tactics including leaving this young wife by herself for 45mins in full view of all the passengers passing through.

At the end of the interrogation the UKBA confiscated their goods for the following reasons.

1. The husband 'lied'(UKBA definition of lying). He said that apart from his job he sometimes gambles and the money to pay for the trip came from recent wiinings which he won on the 'horses'. The winnings are paid into his bank account and can be verified. When UKBA asked him which horse he said that he's sorry but he calls it the 'horses' because his wife does not like him playing gaming machines ... specifically the automatic roulette machine. The husband hides the fact that he plays these machines to his wife by calling it the 'horses'. He replied 'horses' through force of habit. Despite the fact that he wins on this roulette machine and all the winnings are paid into his bank account the UKBA stated he 'lied' and therefore that was enough to confiscate his tobacco.

2. The wife was asked what she was smoking and she said Cutters Choice and she'd been sharing her husband's 50g pouch. When asked where it came from she said that her husband would have bought it in Belgium. When the husband was asked where the 50g Cutters Choice came from he said his mother gave him it. So, UKBA decided that because their stories don't match up that the wife's tobacco was confiscated too!

ls there any bloody integrity at all in the UKBA? This is what you are up against folks if you trust the UKBA. They are not your friends, they are not interested whether you have legally bought your tobacco or not. All they are interested in is confiscating tobacco to reach their targets ... by any means necessary!

l keep ramming this down your throats ... GO PREPARED!


More reasons to hate UKBA. Some of you will remember my complaint to UKBA re our illegal detainment at Doncaster Airport. and my subsequent response to their reply of my complaint.

Well l received a reply from UKBA to inform me that the procedure used in the initial response to my complaint was correct. Let me say that again .... THE PROCEDURE WAS CORRECT!

No investigation as to the facts of the complaint/response .... just the bloody procedure. The initial UKBA response could've just said 'l am a teapot' as long as the procedure was correct!

UKBA must be the most corrupt agency in UK Government history. What a bloody joke!

Ah well, Omsbudman next! Due process and all that.  :)


  1. We have to do something about this. A friend of mine sent a box of cigars to his father for his birthday from Spain. One box with 5 fucking cigars in it and it got confiscated. The empty package arrived at his house with a threatening letter inside it.

    We need to find somebody to complain to. This is downright insane.

  2. I suggest you get a dossier together. I have contacted some people in the know... we will fight this. If need be, we'll take it to the Court of Human Rights.

  3. No-ones interested Sue because we are smokers and hence don't have rights. We've contacted MP's, MEP's, lndependent lnspector of UKBA, MSM, UKBA Complaints (that was a laugh), Tobacco companies, Ferry Companies ... and got zilch!

    FOREST say it's not a problem.

    We carry on though exposing UKBA as much as we can. We don't only blog ... we do actually go out in the wide world and take UKBA on. We talk the talk and walk the walk.

    Unfortunately as you recently said ... we are a little short of REAL men! The keyboard is as far as they will go.

    We fully expect one day to be setup by the UKBA. You'll know when that happens as the blog will suddenly become silent! You can post our epitaph:-

    "Go tell the Spartans we did our duty!" :)

  4. Sue, we'll help anyway we can. All our files are available. We are not interested in glory, if someone else wants that .. it's fine by us. We've had lots of offers of help but so far it's all been hot air. Pity we aren't in the hot air ballon industry!

  5. What about taking the UKBA to a small claims court? The cost would be very little even if we lost the case.

  6. I read and reread SH's lessons on how to deal with UKBA. Why? I'm a fairly intelligent adult, a former smuggler and have dealt with the UKBA on a number of occasions BUT the game HAS changed and preparation is the key. I'm as likely as anyone to get flustered/not think what I am saying and as I have said before: UKBA will take your first answer as gospel and the slightest mistake on your part will be taken as proof of smuggling.

  7. Not all are full of hot air 'Smokin', but I do see your frustration my friend!

  8. Phil ... you'd be bloody useless in the hot air balloon company! :)

  9. Anon 20.18 ... Zaphod is currently involved in that and has been for months.

  10. Sue, your friend should appeal. These guys helped me appeal.


  11. Most people are the same SBC. As you say, preparation is everything.

  12. Anon 20:18, I'm currently trying to get Customs in the Small Claims Court. Cost so far, £108.

    The court staff are playing dirty, helping them out and "losing" documents.

    Customs'barrister has asked the court to declare that it doesn't have jurisdiction. A hearing was held in January, at which I demolished that argument.

    Now it's gone quiet, and I think I need to prod them again.

  13. Sue, David is correct, your friend should appeal.

  14. "Customs'barrister has asked the court to declare that it doesn't have jurisdiction"-Zaphod

    The arrogance of the UKBA leaves my flabber not just gasted but shafted! UKBA/C&E love to remind us that it is a CIVIL matter and that they therefore aren't bound by trifles such as 'PACE' or even 'Burden Of Proof' but a civil court should have no jurisdiction??! I bet their Worships/His Lordship loved that argument!

    ...and bloody Simon should hang his head in shame for proclaiming that 'it isn't an issue'. Seems he has really sold out any integrity he ever had.

  15. SBC ... a good investigative journalist could make a name for himself exposing this bunch. Pity they seem to be extinct.

  16. As SH says, whatever happened to Investigative Journalism? It would be so easy for the Media to expose this corrupt organisation.

    All we ever get is tame journos being spoonfed with cheap stories of inept "smugglers" and evil "organised crime".

    The real criminals are wearing uniforms, and they are paid by the taxpayer.

  17. Zaphod. The real criminals are wearing uniforms and they are paid by the taxpayer


  18. Searching this morning for a coach trip I found this in red writing on page 1
    'Warning - due to excessive Customs activities many companies have either curtailed or abandoned altogether shopping trips to Europe.'

    That will help the economy then.

  19. Have you seen this guy, he is very knowledgable and walks away from the police that are about to stop and search him by using the anti terrorist act as their reason.


  20. Some very important audio for you to listen to, I never normally upload anything, It will give you a good idea of whats what!

    http://www.easy-share.com/1914947188/Creditors in Commerce - Gordon Hall - Part 1.flv

  21. http://www.easy-share.com/1914947675/Creditors In Commerce - Gordon Hall - Part 2.flv

  22. The really sad thing about it is that yet again a couple of 'honest, play-by-rules, hardworking' (to put in Daily mail speak) Brits are criminalized and driven into the waiting arms of the White Van Man.

  23. anon 08.30/09.04 Wtf! sounds like one of those religous nutters. Give us your money and we'll make you rich.

  24. You're right there SBC. l hate these Customs arseholes. Theyre just lying cheating robbing bastards. Fuck em.

  25. Hi Prop

    No they are not religious at all, They basically explaining how we are all duped by these commercial twats and how NO ONE and I mean NO ONE has any power of you that includes Police, Courts, UKBA unless you give them the power too!

    Listen to it again!

    I promise its no shite!

  26. I have contacted this guy, he's a legend, he is good at exposing the shite we live in and uncovering these commercial corporations i.e UKBA

    I have referred him to this site, A few more of you should contact him as I have done, I am sure he will help, he knows his rights and some!


  27. " Let me say that again .... THE PROCEDURE WAS CORRECT!"-SH

    Yep, just proves what I've been saying: if we are to 'get' them then it will have to be on procedural grounds...ie that the UKBA 'agent' failed to follow the Law Enforcement Handbook (as it is apparently titled). I'm trying to get a copy of it under the FOI although I doubt I will.

    The only offence the UKBA will take seriously is an offence against their own red tape not against Joe Public.

  28. l hate this anon stuff. Not interested in all this commercial hocuspocus. l dont need it, got my MC. Charlie does a good job but his thing is street theatre.

  29. Prop carry on then, I was just trying to do you a favour and enlighten you.

    You call it hocuspocus lol, be honest is that because you don't actually understand it?

    Wake up!!!

  30. I have been a Customs officer for many years and have witnessed first hand the dumbing down of the agency. The merger with the lnland Revenue was bad enough. Do you know we have rooms full of unopened mail? When the merger with BIA came in to form the UKBA it was and is a complete disaster.

    The standard of staff is abysmal and those at the top are no better. They climb the ladder by ticking the right boxes and attending useless courses. None of this has anything to do with protecting the borders.

    l have read through this site and can find little to disagree with. The policy in force at the borders regarding excise goods is disruption. There is little or no intelligence involved. Confiscating the goods is the b'all and end'all. lt does not matter if the owner of the goods gets back their goods because all they get is the value of the goods and that is it. There is no compensation for travel and other expenses. The policy is designed simply to minimise cross-border shopping regardless of the legalities.

    lf you end up in court appealing the seizure, you will find that the judge/magistrate has invariably already made up his mind about the appeal before the case even starts.

    l've seen officers take goods they've confiscated home on more than one occasion. In fact, it is regarded as a perk of the job. There are also no records for vehicles that are confiscated because officers get first choice. You try and get official records for the number of vehicles confiscated and you will find it impossible.

    l shall be retiring very shortly and will be glad to do so.

  31. @HMCE

    Are you for real? lf so, maybe you could help with UKBA's Law Enforcement Handbook? l, like SBC, would love to see this.

  32. HMCE, if you are who you claim to be then please let us know the Internal Complaints procedure ie who would you, as an officer, report a fellow officer's misdeeds to if you were to do so? The police have 'Internal affairs', who is it for C&E?

  33. Bah! ... back to previous 'Anticipation' post!

  34. UKBA is the short form for United Kingdom Bastards. They are low lying scums of the earth


"In the eyes of the Tribunal the review letter contained several preconceptions, prejudgments and non-sequiturs"

"the absurdity of this reason is demonstrated by simply stating it"

"We therefore find that Mr Sked misdirected himself as to the Policy in carrying out the review and his decision is therefore one that no reasonable review officer could have arrived at."

... commonly known here at N2D as 'Skeds' ... that is to say these are Judges comments regarding UKBA Review Officer Ian Sked's reasons for rejecting peoples appeals against seizures.

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