Robin Hood Airport? ... more like Sheriff of Nottingham.

What a bloody set of miserable twats at Doncaster Airport. It's so small l think the staff have all become anal-retentive through boredom, that's if they wasn't already of course.. Caught a flight out, it was the last flight, no-one waiting at passport and boarding card check before security. It had them stupid adjustable barriers that make queues go in a snakelike line ... but there wasn't a queue, it was empty. There was a gap just before it so we went through. The braindead black zombie official almost turned white! " NO, you must follow the line! blah blah blah (I turned my ears off by then so can;t remember what else zombie said). Laughter is a great retort so l laughed all the way down the snake line. Steam was coming out of zombie by then. l ignored all he said and just gave him passport and boarding card. Duh?

Onto security and more zombies. You can't touch the containers for your bags, coats etc until they give you them! lf you do, they get upset .... ask Zaphod :-)

Then we had further zombies at a police control. Me and Zaphod had been talking and laughing at security control,  then l'd passed by police control but when they stopped Zaphod to look at his passport they asked him if he was travelling alone?  Duh?

Then finally when boarding aircraft there was another zombie who decided that she was going to check cabin baggage in them stupid metal frames. We had none but it was fun watching this zombie ordering people who had bags too full to take things out so they'd fit in the frames. Then after that, the people put the stuff back in the bags! Duh?

Not one of these zombies smiled and definitely had no sense of humour or if they had one it'd been surgically removed!

Oh yeah, have you noticed that airports get names of all these rebels like Robin Hood, John Lennon etc but are full of control freaks? Robin Hood? ... nah, l'll call it Sheriff of Nottingham from now on.

l'll bring you folks up to speed shortly as l've been to Belgium and Poland in the last week so had to face UKBA on 2 occasions. Think you'll find it interesting.


  1. Speaking of airports named after rebels, in Gdansk, Poland, it's called Lech Walesa! Any more examples, anyone? I expect there's a Nelson Mandela in S.A. Has Oz got a Ned Kelly Airport? Billy the Kid in USA?

    Charles de Gaulle? Nah, I'm not accepting him as a freedom fighter. Pah! (spit).

  2. And yes, Donc Apt staff was the most miserable bunch I've ever seen. And that's saying something.

  3. Hard to believe that such people exist isn't it!

  4. *Batman airport, in Turkey
    *Useless Loop Airport, Australia.
    *Mafia Airport, Tanzania
    *Moron Airport, Mongolia
    *Eek Airport, USA

  5. Terrorists caught ... 0

    Passengers harassed/humiliated ... Millions upon millions


    That's all I need say on the subject of airport *cough* security *cough* (i used to work in the field and believe me its all just window dressing).


"In the eyes of the Tribunal the review letter contained several preconceptions, prejudgments and non-sequiturs"

"the absurdity of this reason is demonstrated by simply stating it"

"We therefore find that Mr Sked misdirected himself as to the Policy in carrying out the review and his decision is therefore one that no reasonable review officer could have arrived at."

... commonly known here at N2D as 'Skeds' ... that is to say these are Judges comments regarding UKBA Review Officer Ian Sked's reasons for rejecting peoples appeals against seizures.

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