On Stuffing and Girls .... by SBC

 Tubing for Pleasure And Profit  OR Now You Know What Those Tins Are For >>
 
What do the “Righteous”, the Non-Smokers, do after sex? Does deep meaningful conversation replace the apres bonk ciggy?

Anyways, being the Gentleman that I am, I proffered the girl a Stuyvesant. She declined. Getting out of bed and jamming her T-shirt between her legs (bit of a design fault on the part of the Creator there but this was the pre-AIDS , pre-Condom, 80’s and anyways she was catholic) she said ‘no thanks, I want to stuff one’ .

Stuff one? I thought we’d just taken care of that...

Anyways she wandered over to the cupboard and took out a tin of Marlboro Tobacco. I didn’t even know that Marlboro did loose tobacco. Then she took out a box of ‘empty’ cigarettes and a gadget.

Neon Plastic with a crank handle.

Does it get better than that?

I love gadgets. Don't worry Dear, if you haven’t got a ‘Y’ chromosome you wouldn’t understand.

She proceeded to ‘stuff’ or rather ‘tube’ a smoke.

Like I said, this was the 80‘s in Germany. Back before ‘Reunification’ and the Euro , when a pack of Marlboro or a 50g pouch both cost 4 marks (£1.20)....or 20p if you had thought to bring a bag of brit 5p coins with you and you got your fags out of the machines on every street corner (old squaddies trick).

The Continentals have been ‘tubing’ for decades. But until recently it remained the preserve of students and Poor People. It never really caught on here in the UK because of the price of rolling tobacco meant that even back in the 80‘s it would have been more expensive to tube than to buy a pack of straights.

However in the last few years the price of cigarettes and tobacco has sky rocketed in the rest of Europe too. A packet of fags in the Benelux or Germany costs almost as much as it does in the UK and the 50g pouch has almost tripled in price. They have even started selling half packs or ‘tens’ of cigarettes, something unknown there a few short years ago.

So now you know what all those tubs and tins are you see on the tobacconist’s shelf when you go baccy buying in the Benelux. Tubing has become more and more popular over there.

Tubing tobacco is a little different from RYO. Its cured and cut slightly differently. Yes you can roll Tubing tobacco, just has you can tube RYO but it doesn’t work as well in either case.

Rule of Thumb: If it is in a tub, can, bucket or zip bag then it is tubing tobacco, if it’s in a pouch then its RYO.

(Some tubs however do say ‘all round’ which means it can be used for tubing & hand rolling.)

If you’re a ‘straights’ man and don’t really like roll ups then tubing might be for you. (Does your wife grizzle too when you put your knees on the steering wheel to roll a fag on the autobahn?)  You can even get electric tubing gadgets although personally I use the ‘Rizla Concept’ machines and their tubes because they can be bought in most supermarkets in the UK , should i happen to forget to order more on Ebay.

At the present a smoke-able tubing tobacco will set you back about 10 Euros for 100g in the BNL and Germany. Premium tobacco brands such as Marlboro are a bit more expensive but only by a couple of Euros.

I spend those long winter Norfolk evenings making my smokes for the next day. Top Tip: put your tubed smokes filter side down in the empty cigarette pack , saves on tobacco falling out.


 Yes it takes a little practice to tube a perfect cigarette and each tobacco brand has slightly different qualities. Another Top Tip: Don’t try tubing fresh GV, it is far too wet when it comes out of the pouch..hell its almost liquid. Most tubing tobaccos however can be used straight out of the tin.

8 comments:

  1. l think l'll have a go at this. Thx SBC

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  2. Just went to "The Dark Place" aka Morrisons and I noticed in passing that a 50g GV there is now £14.05

    That means just bringing back 10 pouches from BNL has pretty much paid the ferry ticket and a meal. Almost £10 a pouch saving.

    Just bringing back your 3kg 'allowance' is a £500-£600 saving?

    My maths must be wrong.

    £600????!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. £579.00 SBC :)

    £843 Morrisons 3kg

    £264 Belgium 3kg

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fucking hell, is that what it is now? 69% saving!

    ReplyDelete
  5. My next trip is now booked for the first week of June. Bummer that I have to wait so long but its a family 'thang' (I promised to take my nephew in The Old Country to some festival or something) and we're combining it with a trip back home.

    14 days of Bratwurst, sauerkraut, Sunshine and decent broadband speed :)

    On the way back from Germany we'll pick up Youngest Useless Offsprung at Hahn and he can drive the car on and off the ferry while I take the baccy through as a foot passenger.

    I hope to bring back about 5kg's of tubing tobacco, which is an even bigger saving.

    Thanks at Anon and Prop for doing the maths...I'm about as dyscalculitic (?) as it gets! My method of counting goes "1-10-Lots-WTF how much?!'.

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  6. Sound like you got it sorted there SBC.

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  7. I remember making those tube things up in a little machine but with Players no6 at 3s/9p per pack (just under 20pence!) at the time it was hardly worth the effort

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  8. @ Woody, I don't remember which sort of Players it was but they came in a red and white 'drawer' packet and my dad used to make 'tanks' out of them for me...with a matchstick for the turret gun.

    Player No 10 N think?

    Ahhh those happy childhood days of Father+Son bonding over cheapskate origami'd WMDs...

    ReplyDelete

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