Nothing 2 Declare

The Day We Beat and Outed the UKBA In Court!

2012-01-31T14:53:00.002Z

It was a daunting prospect of taking on the UKBA at court to fight Condemnation Proceedings. We'd come onboard late to help Mr and Mrs "Donny" fight their case. They had already been given the date of the court case when they contacted us so we didn't have a lot of time for preparation. We thought we had a little more time when Mr Donny fell ill and applied for an adjournment to the court but it was refused! Research shows judges do this when they think you have no chance of winning the case. So our outlook was gloomy to say the least. Added pressure is the official stats that show less than 1% win against the UKBA. We also had no legal representation as Mr and Mrs Donny could not afford such a luxury as a barrister. The odds were indeed stacked against us.

We have to add here our admiration and respect of Mr and Mrs Donny. They had so much courage in taking UKBA to court. Despite facing the loss of £2500 worth of cigarettes and being liable for another £2500+ of UKBA legal costs, their resolve to fight the UKBA never wavered. They are respectable, honest to a fault, working class people who have worked all their lives, never been in trouble with the law and are shortly to reach the age of retirement. They are now in the position of enjoying the fruits of their working lives. One of these 'fruits' is to be able to afford holidays abroad 2 or 3 times a year. Another is to be able to purchase their cigarettes abroad in a quantity that saves them a great deal of money. Who could possibly object to them doing so? .... well, UKBA Officer Alistair Graham Fields ... that's who!

This Officer Fields deserves a post outing him for what he is ... and he shall get it, but not yet as this post is about the case.

We were definitely running out of time to prepare. The case was on Mon 30th Jan and we were away 27, 28 & 29th of Jan at Skegness Rock n Blues Festival. So, we took everything with us including computers and printers. Zaphod worked Sat 28th afternoon and on the Sun 29th afternoon we arranged for Mr and Mrs Donny to come down to us. Mr Donny had recovered enough by then to travel. We spent that Sunday afternoon going through as much as we could. lt meant us missing a few gigs from the afternoon sessions ... but 'needs must' as the say. Mr and Mrs Donny then went home. We'd like to apologise to Patsy here because she was our guest and we'd have liked to have spent more time with her.

We got up at 5.30am in order to get to Doncaster Court in time. When we arrived at the court we met Mr and Mrs Donny and put our battle plan into action. Courts are a game albeit a serious one ... a sort of theatre in essence where you are to all intents and purposes on stage. We added to that theatre by being able to conjure up a couple of 'professionals' to attend and observe the whole performance. l won't tell you who these 'professionals' were or indeed their profession as the enemy (UKBA) read this blog and we aim to keep them guessing. Upon arriving at the court, they enquired as to the name of the judge hearing the case and the name of the prosecuting barrister. These afore mentioned two 'professionals' were in dark suits, carried brief cases and took notes throughout the case. One would leave at a number of intervals to make phone calls and upon their return, their professional colleague would pass their notes over to bring the other up to speed. They would also pass notes to each other during the case.

Neither the judge nor the prosecuting barrister has a right to ask who these 'professionals' were even though they knew their own actions were being observed and recorded. They still don't know and we shall decide whether or not to use what information and conclusions these 'professionals' have at a later date.

The case opened with Mr Donny requesting Zaphod as a McKenzie Friend ... which was accepted by the judge but Mr Donny's request for Zaphod to be granted audience (to be able to speak for the Donnys) was not. Mr Donny was still not well and in obvious pain despite his medication. The prosecution barrister began the case with an opening statement saying the UKBA believed the Donnys brought in 14,200 cigarettes from Rhodes May 2011 and they were for a commercial purpose. She then called her first witness ... UKBA Officer Graham Fields who interviewed Mr Donny at time of seizure. They went through the notebook as this is the only documented 'evidence' of the seizure and reasons for the seizure. Then came the cross-examination from our side. Mr Donny did very well despite being in a such difficult, alien circumstances. Mr Donny asked Officer Fields about his training, National Operational Standards, targets set by UKBA for the number of seizures per year and the dubious documented policies internally implemented by UKBA in order to reach these targets. Officer Fields reluctantly admitted to targets but denied they had any influence on how he treated suspects. He also said he adhered to all the standards set.

Officer Fields also admitted his transcript of his notebook was incorrect. He'd added and omitted words and complete sentences. Officer Fields put these down to errors and apologised to the judge. What came next is what the whole case hung on. Firstly was that because Officer Fields believed his notebook was signed as a 'true and factual account of the interview' that it should should be viewed as a confession. Mr Donny went on at length to say that he was pressurised and bullied into signing the notebook which of course Fields denied. The next was even more important ... Officer Fields had added 2 more trips abroad where he said the Donnys had gone and purchased cigarettes. He had also increased the number of cigarettes that the Donnys had said they had bought previously. When Fields was asked where he got this information from he said the UKBA database. Mr Donny asked him where this evidence was because he did not have a copy of this evidence in the bundle sent to him.

Officer Fields stated that the court or the Donnys could not have it because it was confidential operational intelligence and was not in the public interest to make it available! ln other words, we had to accept what the UKBA said.

Mr Donny then went over the 3 reasons for seizure.

1. The amounts of cigarettes brought in

2. Frequency of travel and did not believe they did not purchase any cigarettes in Spain Feb 2011

3. Mr Donny was on benefits.

1. Mr Donny went over the amounts he actually purchased but Officer Fields stuck to his own increased amounts and added trips abroad.

2. Mr Donny then explained that they had not bought any cigarettes in Spain Feb 2011 because Spain had greatly increased the price of cigarettes in Dec 2010 by a whopping 28% and they had already booked to go to Rhodes in May 2011 where the cigarettes were over 4 Euros a sleeve cheaper. They saved about 300 Euros by doing this. Officer Fields stuck to his belief the Donnys bought cigarettes in Spain 2011.

3. Mr Donny explained that he was on permanent sickness benefit due to ill health (he signs off benefits to go on holiday) and he has a substantial amount in personal savings (Mrs Donny has a larger amount in savings).The actual figures were quoted in court along with evidence to back the figures up. Officer Fields stuck to his belief that Mr Donny could not afford to purchase large amounts of cigarettes because he was on benefits.

Prosecution barrister then re-examined Fields and again stated the increased amounts of cigarettes and trips abroad were fact along with the 'signing of the notebook as a true and factual account of the interview'

Next prosecution witness was UKBA Officer Steven Blake who had interviewed Mrs Donny at time of seizure. ln truth, his evidence was very little and did nothing to back up Officer Fields. He stated that he interviewed Mrs Donny but made no conclusions or reasons for seizure because Officer Fields did all that. He did also admit to 'errors' in his transcript statement of the contents of his notebook.

Next up were Mr and Mrs Donny as defence witnesses. Mr Donny was questioned by the judge and then Mrs Donny (with aid of Zaphod). The prosecution barrister cross-examined Mr Donny and then Mrs Donny re-examined. Mr Donny does not have a good memory and easily gets confused with dates and figures but this wasn't a negative in all honesty. He came across as truthful witness who was easily confused. Prosecution barrister tried her utmost to get him to contradict himself but he kept saying he didn't understand, or was confused or couldn't remember ... that is to say, the truth. lt's worth stating here that the prosecution barrister kept bringing up again that Mr and Mrs Donny had signed the notebooks as a 'true and factual account of the interviews'. ln essence she said they had signed a confession. She also continued with the added amounts of cigarettes and added trips abroad as fact.

The judge then broke for lunch. They had only allowed an hour for this case so it shows they thought it would be a rubber stamp job. During the break, everyone used the snack bar in the court including the 2 UKBA officers although both parties did sit as far apart as possible. During this period our 'professionals' came over to talk to us but then retired for a little privacy to a table in between us and the UKBA officers. The break lasted for an hour and then it was back to court.

Next up as a witness was Mrs Donny. She was nervous but when the judge questioned her she was precise and factual. She never wavered at all. When it came to the prosecution barristers questioning, Mrs Donny not only held up well ... she was bloody brilliant! The prosecution barrister was downright nasty at times but Mrs Donny kept her calm and stuck to the facts ... and adding a few more into the bargain. Again the prosecution barrister kept saying they signed a 'confession' and the added amounts of cigarettes and added trips abroad were fact. Mr Donny then re-examined Mrs Donny with questioning that amounted to denials of everything UKBA had accused them of.

The judge was then about to give his judgement but Mr Donny wanted to make an end statement. The judge happily granted Mr Donny his request. Mr Donny started off by saying he just wanted to make something clear. He said that the UKBA had stated that all these extra amounts of cigarettes and extra trips abroad were on the UKBA database but they couldn't print them off because of security, intelligence and not in the publics interest. Mr Donny then said that this is categorically not true. He directed the judge to part of the defences bundle. lt was a Subject Access Request from a certain 'Smoking Hot' (judge had my real details of course) where not only was every flight there in detail in and out of the country for the past 3 years but even UKBA stop and searches with reference numbers and dates along with any results from these stop and searches. These results showed whether l had any excise goods on my possession at the time of the stop and search and if l had, it detailed the amount l had brought in. These were from the UKBA database!

The judge agreed with Mr Donny and added that he had already noted that and would have thought if there was any such evidence on UKBA's database concerning Mr and Mrs Donny that the prosecution would have used the lunch period to have acquired it. They had not done so. He then started to give his judgement but was interrupted by the prosecution barrister who wanted to add something. He told her in no uncertain terms that he had heard enough from her.

He totally dismissed every accusation (and l do mean every) that UKBA had brought against Mr amd Mrs Donny. He then ordered UKBA to restore Mr and Mrs Donny's goods.forthwith along with what costs Mr and Mrs Donny can legally claim.

This was a day the good guys won. ln my honest opinion l believe UKBA Officer Fields is a liar, falsified evidence and committed perjury. l view the stance of the prosecution barrister little better. Although she has taken the word of Officer Fields as fact, she has to have known that there should be factual evidence to back up Officer Fields claims. That she didn't do it shows to me that she is lacking in integrity and was perfectly happy to prosecute 2 people that she knew were innocent. That is unforgivable.

The judge, l cannot complain about. Whether he acted that way because of our 'professionals' in attendance l cannot say but l'm more than willing to give him praise for the way he conducted the case. l'd also like to praise a certain gentleman called Bobi who also turned up to support Mr and Mrs Donny. He did it out of his own violation and expense.

Final praise goes to Mr and Mrs Donny who had the courage and determination to fight an agency that is unfit for purpose ... the UKBA!

Note:- this is the edited version as the case went on for 4 hrs or so. We shall upload the full transcript for those that wish to download and read it. This will take a while to do though so please be patient :)

....................................................................

REMEMBER

RECORD ALL UKBA INTERVIEWS

DO NOT SIGN UKBA NOTEBOOK .... EVER!

Was going to put this up on Forests Facebook page but it seems Simon Clark has banned me from it :)

.... And They'll Call This Justice?

2012-01-27T09:53:00.000Z

It's been a long time since we were in court for a Condemnation Case brought by the UKBA/HMRC. Our own fights with UKBA/HMRC have never reached this stage as we've won them all before it got to court.

Even a blind man could see that the couple have no case to answer and there is no evidence whatsoever against them. Just a formality then? .. they'll go to court and justice will be done and they'll get their goods back, right?

Well er, no actually. Firstly the UKBA refused to supply photocopies of the officers notebooks. Then, about a week ago, one of the couple fell ill and was bedridden so they applied for an adjournment. They supplied doctors sick note and diagnosis to accompany the request for an adjournment. lt was refused!!!!!!!

We expect the same response for the request of a McKenzie friend (they can't afford legal representation)

So, this person has to drag himself out of bed, doped up on medication and then attempt with the aid of walking sticks to drag himself into court knowing he has lost a week that he was virtually unable to prepare for the case ... and they call this justice?????

We've got someone to record by shorthand the whole case because we fear the worst. We'll then publish the whole damn thing for you to see and judge for yourselves if this is justice.

UKBA Operations Manual now online

2012-01-24T23:35:00.004Z

After being offline for gods know how long for "updating", the UKBA Operations Manual is finally up.Link Here. However, at a first search l can find virtually nothing about Excise Goods. What l did find is a page on Excise Interviews and boy oh boy, it's a complete joke. Here have a read :-

Click on pic to embiggen

So for all you folks that are bringing in tobacco and cigarettes for your own personal use, the UKBA have decided that because they cannot store tapes correctly NO interviews under Civil Law will be recorded. The tapes and recorders will still be there for Criminal Cases for such as drugs but NONE for anyone stopped and interviewed regarding Excise Goods such as tobacco/cigarettes.

Which translates as because we had treated some of you badly now we will treat all of you the same .... badly!

They must use different tapes for Criminal Cases! Civil Case ones must self-destruct or something.

The one gem in this notice is that it states that the officer should record the interview accurately and in FULL. This means no paraphrasing, no cherry picking .... it means in full .... that means verbatim!

So us cross-border shoppers will carry on looking after ourselves :-

RECORD ALL UKBA INTERVIEWS.

DO NOT SIGN THEIR NOTEBOOK ... EVER!

Plain Packaging Regs Passed in House of Commons

2012-01-18T13:31:00.000Z

All MPs will now be in plain packaging

DEATH Cigarettes ... the honest cigarette

2012-01-17T14:49:00.000Z

Beats the hell out of all the measures and regs ASH and the gov has brought out except it was actually marketing the product!

Part 2 Exclusive! Real life UKBA/Customs Stop and Search and Interview

2012-01-14T11:55:00.008Z

So here is Part 2 (Part 1 here) as promised. There will be Part 3 to Follow
In this video there is reference to the Marlboro Incident and the Doncaster 2010 Incident.

Remember:-

RECORD ALL UKBA INTERIEWS

DO NOT SIGN UKBA NOTEBOOK

Turn on captions if subtitles don't appear .. CC on toolbar at bottom of Youtube Video

Exclusive! Scoop! Real life video of UKBA/Customs Stop and Search.

2012-01-06T16:05:00.010Z

Sorry it's taken so long to get this up but we had to wait until a issue with HMRC/UKBA was completely resolved. This is a real life video of a UKBA stop & search and not the stage managed garbage you get with the TV progs of Border Force UK and Customs UK.

This is Part 1 which is the initial stop. The transcript is the full version as in the video some of it had to clipped and the end bit seemed to overwrite itself for a minute or so.We still have the complete audio though on the Sonys. The i-phone stopped recording as it seems to have a cut-off after approx 55mins. lt was reset for Part 2 where we had the interview (not interrogation this time, UKBA were very polite) You don't think perchance that knowing they were being recorded had anything to do with it, do you?

The audio of Zaphod is quiet so turn sound up or refer to transcript. lf there are any video wizards out there who can bring the sound up of Zaphod, we'd appreciate it.

Remember, we do this for you! We ourselves have no need of it. We do it to show you what your rights are and how to use them ... and make UKBA behave themselves! We never just talk the talk ... we always walk the walk ... period!

Yes, we do bring all the cigarettes home! :)

Turn on captions if subtitles don't appear .. CC on toolbar at bottom of Youtube Video

TRANSCRIPT

ZAPHOD This conversation is being recorded. Who is stopping me?

UKBA For what reason? We’d like to check your baggage.

ZAPHOD I’m not interested in what you’d like. Do you have reason to stop me, other than random?

UKBA Under section 163 of the Customs and Excise Act, we’d like to have a look in your bag.

ZAPHOD Right. “Objective facts and information must support the use of reasonable suspicion or belief.” This is your instructions. “Ensure the use of reasonable suspicion or belief is supported by objective facts and information.” - “ Individuals may bring back any amount of excise goods for their own use or as gifts, You must have reasonable grounds for the initial stop, you..” (Get this,) “Officers must not stop someone in the hope of obtaining grounds through questioning to support a subsequent search.”

UKBA We suspect there’s cigarettes in the bag, so we’d like to have a further X-ray of your hand luggage -

ZAPHOD Not good enough. You have to suspect that they are being carried for a commercial purpose. You have to have reason to believe -

UKBA You’ve got more than 800 cigarettes.

ZAPHOD You have to have, (remember, I’m recording this conversation), you have to have reason to believe that I am carrying excise goods “for a commercial purpose” before I may be stopped and searched. Ever since the “Hoverspeed versus Andrews” case, (you’ll be aware of it, it’s 2002), since then, the High Court ruled, that you may not stop and search me unless you have reason to believe that I am carrying excise goods FOR A COMMERCIAL PURPOSE. Do you have reason to believe that I am carrying excise goods FOR A COMMERCIAL PURPOSE? I’ve been through this before.

UKBA Yeah, I’ve er, I’ve never met you before in my life, so-

ZAPHOD I’ve met your uniform many times, and I have not been beaten. You have seized cigarettes from me on three occasions. On every single occasion, I have appealed and won them back. On one particular occasion, by the time you admitted that you shouldn’t have seized them, you had destroyed them. You offered me £1800 in compensation. I refused it, as is my right. An independent referee was appointed, as, (you’ll all be familiar with CEMA?), as is provided for in CEMA. And then, the independent referee was cancelled, and I was told, “If you don’t like it, take us to court.” This is what Customs and Excise said.

I took you to court. The court hearing was scheduled for the 1^st of November, at 11:30am. (A letter from my solicitor here.) In the same letter that she told me about the court hearing, where we were finally going to court, after you had tried many tricks to prevent it, (jurisdiction, out of time, etc), we finally got a hearing. And on that day, you offered me £4500, which is what I’d been claiming.

I turned it down. I said, “I want my costs, as well.”

Within a couple of days - (My solicitor said, “you won’t get costs!”) - within a couple of days, she got back to me.

And what happened next? I’m not at liberty to tell you, because I’ve signed a confidentiality agreement with your boss. And now? All of a sudden, revenge?

I know my rights. You cannot stop and search me unless you have reason to believe - (I’ve done a lot of research), - you have reason to believe that I, as an individual, not as a type or profile, am carrying excise goods FOR A COMMERCIAL PURPOSE. Unless you have reason, reason which you have checked, (I’ve got your operations manual, your procedures, your guidance), (Freedom of information act is a wonderful thing), I know the rules, perhaps better than you; that you must follow. And if you want to go to court again, and lose again, like poor old Mr Sked at Glasgow airport did, then – break the rules.

The rules say, unless you have reason to believe that I, as an individual; reason, reason which you have checked, (Not just “he looks like one” – not just “he’s got cigarettes.”) That’s not good enough. Your own literature says, “If we have reason to believe that you are carrying excise goods for a COMMERCIAL PURPOSE, THEN, we may stop and ask you questions.”

Do you have such a reason, BEFORE you stop me? It’s not enough to know that I have some. You have to have reason to believe that they’re for a commercial purpose. If you’ve check my record, you’ll know that over eleven years I’ve had twelve pulls, three seizures, and I’ve won them all back. You have had twelve attempts to establish that I am carrying excise goods for a commercial purpose. You have failed on every single occasion, and the last failure cost you a great deal of money, which I’m not at liberty to divulge; but I can give you the name of your solicitor, who will confirm it.

UKBA Yep.

ZAPHOD Right, if you wanna get hold of, Thomas Jagger, for the General Counsel and Solicitor to HM Revenue and Customs, he will tell you that I won.

UKBA Right, well…

ZAPHOD Right. Do you have reason to believe that I am carrying excise goods, FOR A COMMERCIAL PURPOSE?

UKBA Yes.

ZAPHOD What is the reason?

UKBA The reason is, these bags have been X-rayed, and they appear to contain nothing but cigarettes. In accordance with the guidelines from the 1^st October, which is 800 cigarettes…

ZAPHOD The guidelines don’t affect the law. Are you familiar with your procedures?

Here’s a good one. Here’s when I got stopped with 117 sleeves of 200. They were seized. They were restored to me. I got a handsome letter from the “Head of Regional Business Services North”, “Thank you for your letter in which you express your dissatisfaction, blah blah blah,” (This is in answer to my subsequent complaint), “Had all the facts been sought and considered, there would almost certainly been a different outcome to this matter…the circumstances of your case have brought to light some inadequacies in the questioning techniques of some of our officers, you will be pleased to know that this has now been addressed. Each of the officers involved has now undergone a training course to improve their technique.”

UKBA That was something which happened in the year 2000, sir.

ZAPHOD “There is no evidence to suggest that the officers were guilty of misconduct, however I do accept that are some aspects of this case which could have been handled differently. Thank you for bringing these to our attention. As mentioned earlier, these points have been taken on board and have resulted in identifying a training need and a change in some of our procedures. I am sorry that you have been inconvenienced on this occasion.”

Now, you’re not going on information, because under the Freedom of Information Act, you claim to have no records relating to me. So you haven’t got anything on the computer.

UKBA I don’t know who you are.

ZAPHOD “Objective facts and information must support the use of reasonable suspicion or belief.” Are you familiar with this?

UKBA What’s the date of that, sir?

ZAPHOD August 2010 “National Occupational Standards for UKBA”. “You must be able to demonstrate that any actions taken are non-arbitrary and fair. You must use legitimate, necessary and lawful actions in dealing with a situation. Carry out any necessary checks on information before acting on reasonable suspicion or belief. You must check information and sources.”

A crucial one, “Officers must not stop someone in the hope of obtaining grounds through questioning.”

You have to have reason to believe that I am carrying excise goods, -

for a commercial purpose, -

before you may stop and search me.

The last time you attempted to stop me in Doncaster, here, the police came. We had this argument with two policemen in attendance for, it was about an hour. Finally, your man said to the police officers, after a final “I’m asking you one more time,” he said, “will you come in here and open your bags?” and I said, “I do not consent.” And he said to the two police officers, “There’s no more I can do, let them go.”

Now, do you want to have a little think? I’ll be willing to wait while you have a little think about your position. Because I’m the sort who takes you to court, and wins.

UKBA I appreciate that.

ZAPHOD And this conversation is being recorded. So, one more time. Do you have reason to believe that I, as an individual, not a type or generality or trend, am carrying excise goods, FOR A COMMERCIAL PURPOSE? This is going to be used in court.

UKBA I believe that you are carrying goods in excess of the guidelines, which at the moment is 800 cigarettes, and the officers need to satisfy themselves-

ZAPHOD Your needs are not my concern. Only- I’m not interested in your needs, your requests, your invitations, only in what the law says I must do, and the law does not say I must – I’m aware of your tricks, in saying “I need, I would like, I request,”.

I do not consent. I do not consent.

Now, I’ll wait while you have a bit of a think about it, but then I’m going to go. I’ll let you have chance to think about what you’re going to do. You might want to check with the local police, they know about what happened last time, and they supported us.

We know the bluff you usually work on. We know it usually works. You’ve hit somebody that the bluff doesn’t work on. Now, you need to adapt, because I will take you to court.

You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned, anything which you later rely on in court. Could I have your name or number please. A unique identification.

UKBA Sorry, I can’t understand why you’ve just said that caution. Tell me. The caution’s only applicable to a law enforcement officer.

ZAPHOD You’re accustomed to giving cautions, aren’t you? Are you a law enforcement officer?

UKBA I am sir.

ZAPHOD Really?

UKBA Yes, do you want to see my warrant to prove it?

ZAPHOD If I subsequently take you – Yes, I would, I’d like your number, actually.

UKBA Yeah, it’s there. All our numbers are -

ZAPHOD UK Border Agency ####.

UKBA All our numbers, every officer -

ZAPHOD And you are UK Border Agency #####.

UKBA We’ll always have us numbers on there at all times.

ZAPHOD I give you the warning because I, if you give me much more wasted time, I will take you to court.

UKBA I haven’t spoken to you sir, until just now.

ZAPHOD Right, may I leave?

UKBA As far as I’m concerned, you’ve just spoken to our boss, then you’ve said, go away and think about it and come back to me.

ZAPHOD Okay, he’s had a think. Am I under arrest?

UKBA Well he’s not come back to you, has he?

ZAPHOD Well I can’t wait all day. Am I under arrest?

UKBA Well I’ll go and have a word, see what he’s doing.

ZAPHOD Well I propose to leave now. No, I’ll give you another five minutes.

UKBA All I heard was, what he said was, he said he’s gonna come back to you, I don’t know what he’s –

ZAPHOD I don’t know how long it takes him to have a think about it.

UKBA I wouldn’t have thought to be long sir, to be honest. There’s no reason for it to be long, if you know what I mean.

ZAPHOD You’ve had twelve attempts at establishing that I – I go and buy my cigarettes abroad –

UKBA By we, you mean, -

ZAPHOD You, that uniform. And if the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand’s doing, threre’s something wrong. I checked in with my passport, you’ve got computer systems, you should know my history. What happened to “Intelligence”? We hear all about it on the TV programs.

UKBA We do.

ZAPHOD And really, it’s a random pull, isn’t it?

UKBA I – I –

ZAPHOD And random pulls have been outlawed since 2002. I hope you know that?

UKBA I do that sir, but, as I’ve tried saying to you, and I’ve said to your co-traveller, I don’t know you sir, I’ve never seen you before, so please don’t get aggressive with me, cos I’m not –

ZAPHOD I can be quite emphatic, but I’m not aggressive. But –

UKBA There’s nothing wrong with being emphatic sir, that’s what you believe in. That’s what we, that’s what –

ZAPHOD I’ve been proved right several times.

UKBA That’s what democracy’s about.

ZAPHOD Yes. So, I’m going to leave very shortly.

UKBA My colleague, I believe, may have just gone to make a phone call. So hopefully he’ll be back very shortly.

ZAPHOD I tell you what, let’s go outside so I can have a cigarette.

UKBA Well I don’t smoke, personally. He’s just said on the radio he’s speaking to an assistant director, so, Bob’s trying to get hold of an assistant director, so that’s (???) if you know what I mean.

ZAPHOD You really should know this kind of stuff.

UKBA But I’ve, I’ve, I’ve never encountered you before sir, I don’t know anything about you to be quite honest.

ZAPHOD Are you not aware of the rules governing your powers?

UKBA I’m not aware of what’s happened with yourself, (???)

ZAPHOD But I’m just another member of the public, who actually knows the law.

UKBA I don’t mind that sir, I don’t have a problem with that, what I’m saying is, I, I don’t know your history with the department, I, I’m not aware of it, so –

ZAPHOD But you are a UKBA officer, so –

UKBA I am, sir.

ZAPHOD - exercising powers, which you ought to know the limit of.

UKBA I do understand what my powers are sir, that’s why I’ve not –

ZAPHOD Your powers are to ask people, to invite people, to say that you need, -

UKBA To discuss their baggage –

ZAPHOD - but you ought to know the limit of your powers.

We would like to go for a cigarette. If anybody would like to accompany us –

UKBA Where do you want to put your bags, chaps?

ZAPHOD Ah, we’ll take them with us.

UKBA Okay, that’s fair enough. I’m not - that wasn’t, er –

By all means –

UKBA That wasn’t an attempt, by the way –

ZAPHOD -by all means accompany us. We shall stop outside. For a while.

At 17 minutes, 33 seconds from the stop, ZAPHOD and SH leave the terminal building, and wait outside. All UKBA staff remain inside until 24 minutes, 12 seconds.

UKBA If you’d like to come back inside please gentlemen, with your bags?

ZAPHOD Ah no, we, ah, I wouldn’t like to.

UKBA I’ve spoke with my assistant director, and he, ah, I’m going to ask you to reconsider once again, to allow these officers to ask you questions regarding the contents of your bags.

ZAPHOD I do not consent.

UKBA Right, well I’ve been told in those circumstances that I have to seize the goods under section 139.

ZAPHOD You can’t, not unless you arrest me.

UKBA Okay. You’re obstructing me? Is that what you’re saying?

ZAPHOD No. I’m not saying that. I’m saying –

UKBA Well I’m saying that you are obstructing –

ZAPHOD If I’m not under arrest, I shall leave, with my goods.

UKBA Right, well under section thirteen, Customs and Excise management Act, I’m arresting you, cos you’re obstructing me in the performance of my duty, sir.

ZAPHOD And your number is UK Border Agency, #####. As you’re arresting me, PACE now applies.

UKBA Yes. Go inside sir, where we can take er, get out of the weather sir?

ZAPHOD I don’t choose to go inside.

UKBA Come with me then sir, I choose to go inside. Bring your bag, by all means.

I ask you once again, will you come inside, to the terminal?

ZAPHOD I do not consent.

UKBA You do not consent. Who are these gentlemen here? (indicates other waiting passengers).

ZAPHOD I don’t know.

UKBA You don’t know?

Could you move along please, gents?

PAX Sorry?

UKBA Could you move along?

PAX Er, we are waiting for our transport.

UKBA Well could you move along the terminal, please?

PAX Why?

UKBA Because I’m talking to these gentlemen here.

ZAPHOD I don’t have a problem with them.

PAX We don’t understand many words, because we are from Poland. We don’t understand many words.

ZAPHOD You can stay there if you want.

PAX We stay here.

UKBA What about your colleague, sir? Is he of the same persuasion?

ZAPHOD You could try speaking to him?

UKBA Ah well, I’m speaking to you at the moment, okay?

John, would you ask this gentleman please if he’ll come into the terminal?

“JOHN” Sorry?

UKBA Would you ask this gentleman please, I’m afraid I don’t know his name, if he would consent to questioning inside the terminal, please.

UKBA Very well sir, you’re still refusing to bring your bags and come with me into the terminal.

ZAPHOD I do not consent.

UKBA Okay. You let go of the bag please.

ZAPHOD I do not consent. You do not have my permission to touch my property.

UKBA I don’t need your permission sir. You are now under arrest. Come on. Inside the terminal sir.

ZAPHOD If I’ve been arrested, you should read me my rights. PACE.

UKBA Do not have to say anything, unless you wish to do so. If you do say, will be given in evidence. Do you understand?

ZAPHOD Ah, that’s out of date. Get it right.

UKBA You’re not obliged to say anything. But it may ha- You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Do you understand the caution?

ZAPHOD No.

UKBA Well which part of it did you not understand?

ZAPHOD I do not stand under the caution.

UKBA What, you don’t recognise the caution, is that what you’re saying?

ZAPHOD I don’t stand under it.

UKBA Could you explain to me what you mean by that, sir? I’m not aware-

ZAPHOD It’s plain English.

UKBA You do not stand under it.

ZAPHOD Remember, I’ll take you to court. I have done, and I’ve won.

UKBA I’ll ask you once again sir. Will you come with me?

ZAPHOD I do not consent.

UKBA Alright. Well you’ve been arrested so you’ll have to come with me.

ZAPHOD I am being manhandled by two Customs Officers who are forcing me to go into the airport terminal against my consent. I do not consent. I insist that you let go of me. For the benefit of the tape, there is no response. They are still holding both of my arms, they are dragging me-

UKBA (sounding as though under exertion) Just walking you back into the baggage examination

ZAPHOD I do not consent.

(Now 30 minutes from initial stop)

New Years Eve Party Brings On Pink Elephants

2012-01-01T18:01:00.002Z

I could feel eyes looking at me but I wasn't going to open my eyelids. I was warm and content in this little single bed and it was going to take something pretty exceptional to prise me from it. I couldn't remember coming to bed or indeed what time it had been when I had done so, This had to be New Years Day 2012 but there was the distinct possibility of having missed it and it now being the 2nd Jan. Whichever it was, it was certainly daylight. My body was starting to suggest l gave it coffee. At first l ignored the suggestions but these soon changed to demands. I resolved myself to getting up and facing the eyes.

As my eyes opened l was greeted by 2 pink elephants but they were not alone ... there were a host of eyes staring at me. I decided it best not to acknowledge them in case they decided to speak to me. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and noticed that the bed covers were also pink ... as in fact was the entire room it seemed. This was not good.

I located my jeans and t-shirt on the floor and put them on. My socks were nowhere to be seen ... another trophy for the damn sock monster! There was a red dress and womens underthingies also on the floor. I glanced over at the other single bed and there was what l surmised to be the owner of said garments. The form had no covers on and was curled up in the foetal position attired in a black and white hooped rugby shirt far too big for her. I couldn't see her face but the rugby shirt had obligingly a number 9 on the back, so for now l would refer to her as '9'. I went over to '9' and covered her in the bed cover that was on the floor ... yes, it was pink.

Still ignoring the many eyes in the bedroom, l vacated the room and went to the bathroom. Then l made my way downstairs and passed the door of the living room where all the festivities had taken place. My head was far too fuzzy and neither was I brave enough to contemplate entering there yet so I continued onto the kitchen in search of coffee that my body was by now screaming for.

To help those with no imagination

As I opened the door I was greeted with the sight of another female in an identical shirt as '9' upstairs except this was number '22'. How many of them were there for gods sake? My mind started to boggle just as '22' turned round revealing her identity as the hostess of the household. The shirt came down mid-thigh and looked like it was a dress ... a bit baggy but a dress none the less. She said good morning and wished me Happy New Year, to which I replied the same. She told me to sit down at the table and asked me if I wanted tea or coffee. I think by now you've guessed which l asked for.

She poured me a coffee from the coffee machine and l noted that it was a from full pot so refills were readily and thankfully available. There was a great sign above the coffee machine ... it said "Show Me The Coffee And Nobody Gets Hurt" ... how true!

We chatted as I lit up my first cigarette. There cannot be many things that can equal equal that first cigarette and coffee of the day. Don't know how to really put it into words but ... Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh comes close. As Planet Rock played on the DAB radio we discussed the New Years Eve party. It had been a great night with vast quantities of alcohol consumed along with the smokes. I dread to think of how much money the local pub had missed out on. Before any smoking bans were in place we always went to the pub but no longer do we do that and haven't for years now. Neither do our non-smoking friends ... they prefer to be with us.

l grabbed a quick shower in the downstairs bathroom off the kitchen and when l surfaced again, the hostess with the mostest had prepared bacon and tomato sandwiches. What better way to start the day ... well, the afternoon really.

I helped her clean up the living room of all the glasses, bottles, plates, food, ashtrays, cigarette packets, empty baccy pouches ... blah blah blah. Strange how all these empty discarded baccy products had foreign writing on them ... I wonder what they say? There were 3 comatose guests still in the living room sprawled out on the sofas but they didn't show any signs of wakening.

l have to thank our hosts for a truly great night, I suppose I should thank her little daughters for the use of their pink bedroom (filled with an army of stuffed toys including pink elephants) when they get back from their grandparents too.We had no fatalities from any of our non-smoking guests in regards to second-hand smoke nor any fatalities despite everyone going way over the recommended alcohol limit.

An excellent start to 2012, we still get our smokes and alcohol cheap, we continue to expand our smoky-drinkys and continue to have fun. Wonder what our smokerphobe enemies did for New Year?

l'll finish with wishing all you folks a Happy New Year as you'll have to excuse me now ... l want a 'hair of the dog' :)

N2D's Person of the Year 2011

2011-12-28T12:09:00.000Z

... is SBC!

He brought us the most powerful tool we could have ever hoped for to combat the illegal tactics used by UKBA officers when intercepting cross-border shoppers. No longer can UKBA use intimidation and harassment with impunity.Not only did he tell everyone that they had the right to record the UKBA by any means they had available but he gave the actual UKBA documentation that proves without doubt that you can indeed record the UKBA.

The significance of this is immeasurable, because it forces the UKBA to behave and adhere to their very own procedures as they should've been doing in the first place.

N2D have in the past always advocated using covert recording devices to record any interviews with UKBA but we were unsure of the regs regarding openly recording them.We tried FOI's and other avenues but could not get an answer. Then along came SBC with not only the answer but the very UKBA document where it came from.

The next thing we had to do was to try it out because a theory is not good enough ... you have to put it to a practical test. Despite our best efforts to attract attention to ourselves, nothing happened.for months. lt mattered not whether we were carrying excise goods or not to test the open recording of the UKBA because if we were stopped we would tell them that we were recording them and see what happened. Finally it did happen and the results were astounding ... the UKBA were polite, courteous and did everything by the book! Since then others have had the same experience ... the UKBA behave themselves!

The only downside is that our fellow faux champions of freedom and liberty refuse to get this message out despite numerous requests. The requests don't even ask for links or anything to ourselves, indeed we said they didn't have to mention us at all. The silence was deafening! Go figure!

The upside is that we are making a difference though. Maybe not in the numbers we would like but that is down to the faux freedom champions of freedom and liberty. We continue to approach different people and groups but in the meantime we shall do what we ourselves can ... and what you yourself can.

SBC's document says :-

Note: Officers cannot stop someone if they choose to make a video or audio recording of the interview themselves using their own equipment such as a mobile phone, video camera etc. Full document can be downloaded from here

Finally, thanks to all the people who have sent us messages by text, comments or e-mail this Xmas. We do appreciate it greatly. lt is particularly nice to hear the stories of happy outcomes with the UKBA and not tales of woe and cries for help. Prevention is better than cure.

So again, thanks to SBC .... N2D's Person of the Year 2011.

Well done that man!

Well, l'm off again to enjoy the rest of the festive period.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Closed for the Festive Period

2011-12-24T10:22:00.001Z

Eat, Drink, Smoke and be Merry

~~~~~~~~~~

It's Party Time!

The Xmas It Rained Money

2011-12-21T23:38:00.003Z

Imagine walking down a cobbled street, late December mid 1960's. It's at a the time when the average wage for a woman was approx £12 a week, for men £23 a week. You aren't the first and certainly wouldn't be the last wishing you had a little more money at Xmas.

Suddenly something flutters in front of you and lands on the cobbles. lt looks like a tube of paper. You pick it up and unroll it ... it's a 10 shilling note! Wow! ... you can't believe it. Then you notice other tubes lying on the street. lt can't be, surely? ... but it is! More 10 shilling notes and even £1 notes! ... and there's more fluttering down. Oh my god, you really can't believe it now ... your Xmas's have all come at once! (Pre-decimal days, 20 shillings = £1)

Ok, l'll come clean ... l made some of that up. The truth is that my kid sister, who was 6 yrs old at the time, was playing in my grandmother's bedroom at the pub l've just talked about. lt was late Dec and it was 1966. She was found by mother rolling up 10 shilling and 1 pound notes from the drawer that my grandmother kept the pub's takings in (no, there was no safe). My sister found that when these notes were rolled up they were just the right diameter to go through a little hole in the glass of the bedroom window ... SO SHE DID!

How long she'd being doing it no-one knew or ever found out but my sister said lots!. The takings hadn't been counted yet as it was from the midday takings and pubs closed at 3pm in those days. My grandmother wasn't even mad at my sister when my mother told her what had happened. She said it was her own fault for not getting the window fixed ... and whoever found it would probably spend it in the pub anyway. She still used to laugh about it whenever it came up for years to come.

Merry Xmas Nan, you were the best!

The terrible consequences of Second Hand Smoke in pubs

2011-12-19T03:05:00.001Z

I was brought up in a pub that was owned by my grandmother. She had owned pubs long before l was born and had 3 children. One was my mother and the other 2 my uncles. My grandmother never smoked but my mother and uncles did although my mother has now stopped. By the time l came along my grandmother was running the pub by herself because she had divorced my grandfather (another smoker).My 2 uncles now had families and homes of their own as did my mother but because my father (and my uncles) were deepsea fishermen, my mother (and us kids) spent most of the time at the pub. The reason being that deepsea fishermen were away for 3 weeks and home for an average of only 60hrs so my mother helped my grandmother run the pub.

lt was a glorious time for myself and 2 younger sisters. We were allowed in the pub itself when it was open or until it got busy or it got late and time for us to get ready for bed. We lived in the accommodation on the first floor and the bedrooms were on the 2nd floor. Access to the first floor was by an open staircase, indeed this open staircase continued to the 2nd floor. To get to the stair case from the pub itself, you either came from a door that opened directly to the main bar or another door straight into the lounge bar. The area at the bottom of the stairs was like a small hallway where the slot machines were. Also off this hallway was the door to the yard and gents toilets. As you can imagine the doors to both bars were in frequent use. This would mean all that deadly Second Hand Smoke was constantly invading this hallway and rising up to the living quarters and bedrooms. Oh, and not to forget the people playing the slot machines who smoked.

The pub actually had another room as well as the main bar and lounge, this was the 'Snug'. It could hold about 30 people but l can't honestly remember it ever been in use. My grandmother told me it was for customers who preferred not to be in the smoky bars and lounge. All the bars had real fires and sometimes l helped out by cleaning out the fires in the mornings and starting new ones. l hated doing the one in the Snug because nobody used it but my grandmother used to tell me that somebody might and so it had to be done. l've asked my mother about this and she says it was used on occasions but very rarely. The only other difference this Snug had in relation to the other bars was it didn't have direct access to the bar itself. You had to come out of the Snug door and walk 2 meters across the pubs side entrance (still inside the pub though) to a counter that was at the bar. My mother says that it was too secluded from the main bars where everyone was to be of interest to customers. So we have a little Snug room, secluded from the main bars and smoke but nobody used it! ... mmmmm.

The pub was always busy as it was the centre of the community. Lots of houses round it along with a few little shops. lt was a working man's pub to the core.

Here is a picture of the pubs main bar at Xmas circa 1960. You'll note all the smoke filling the bar from all the many smokers, yes? Well maybe not.

Here is a pic of the front of the pub. Both windows are the main bar with the entrance in the middle. lf you look at the bottom right you will see the beginning of the pub's side entrance where the Snug was. The Snug had a window similar to the windows shown in this pic. So, you had window, main entrance, window, side entrance, window.

This is a pic of the side entrance ,,, Easter Bonnet Competition. My grandmother is the lady on the far left and l forgot to mention her ... the little old lady in the brown outfit is my great grandmother that stayed with my grandmother occasionally.

Right, now to the terrible consequences, my great grandmother died at the age of 98 and she smoked all her life, my grandmother (non-smoker) died at the age of 86 due to a road traffic accident. My mother is 80 next month, her brother (my uncle is 85) and her elder brother (my uncle) is 93 and all are active and never had any major surgery or illnesses.

l started smoking at 36 (last time l was in hospital was when l was 6 when l had my tonsils out), eldest of my younger sisters started smoking at 22 and is in good health, my other 2 sisters don't smoke and never have and both are in good health. Wait you say! ... earlier on you said 2 sisters? Yes my youngest sister was actually born in the pub in one of the bedrooms.

l have 2 daughters and 3 nieces, 4 out of the 5 are smokers. l've got 5 cousins on my mothers side and 3 of them smoke ... all are in good health.

Last but not least, my grandfather (smoker) ... died at the age of 76 of a heart attack.

These are the terrible consequences of Second Hand Smoke in a very smoky pub. A time of pipes, Woodbines and Capstan Full Strength cigarettes (filter cigarettes were for girlies!)

The pub still exists today but all the houses around it were demolished and the community scattered. There are a few industrial units but that's all. Sad to see the old Star and Garter like that.

So, these aren't just stats, they are MY stats backed up with living evidence and facts ... real facts. Oh, and just for good measure l think l should throw in that none of my family, neither past or present, are or ever have been tee-total.

Think ASH or Alcohol Concern would be interested in my stats? :)

Dangerous Times at N2D HQ

2011-12-15T16:22:00.000Z

We've got a friend staying with us and she's had a bad couple of days ... and it shows. Then something on the net set her off and she's on one. Now , l won't say who it was but he (yes male) could see she was on one but he had to open his mouth ... didn't he! His brain was definitely not engaged because he said to her something about periods and PMS!

l'm going out for a few hours! ... maybe days!

Xmas message to UKBA

2011-12-14T11:03:00.002Z

Follow Santa's advice and stay safe this Christmas

h/t George

Update
Original cartoon here by Dan Donovan

How P/O Ferries treat smokers ... by choice!

2011-12-10T12:56:00.042Z

In these hard economic times, we have a company doing it's best to alienate and lose a large percentage of it's customers. This company is P&O Ferries. Despite not having to impose a smoking ban by any regulations whatsoever, they choose to impose one. No-one l know of who use this ferry company were ever asked their opinion but P/O Ferries have faux surveys that are supposed to show that we support this ban. Sounds like an ASH tactic, doesn't it? Maybe the Dreadful Arnott gave the P&O Board certificates for their walls and then patted them on the head? Unfortunately P&O Ferries Board have no shareholders to answer to, they are owned by the Dubai Government under an investment company called Dubai World.

Dubai World's portfolio is so vast l doubt they even know they own P&O Ferries and so the Board of P&O Ferries do their own thing so to speak. P&O Ferries are not doing well at all and yet continue to damage/destroy the business they already have. This again is right down ASH's street, ASH produce absolutely nothing but they damage/destroy jobs and businesses with not a care in the world. They do however fill their own pockets/handbags.

P&O know that many people use their Hull routes to purchase tobacco products and the amount these people spend is not insignificant at all. On our recent baccy cruise l asked a few people and observed how much they were spending. l estimated that the amount was around £10,000 and this was by no means all the passengers who were buying tobacco products. None of them bought from the ship!

Why? ... because P&O carry virtually no stock so people make arrangements in Bruges, Ostende etc before they sail.

This is P&O's stock at the beginning of the cruise.Just 12kg of Samson and 11kg of Drum. This is at the beginning of the cruise remember! Note, this isn't a one off, every cruise l've been on has been the same. The shop staff themselves can't believe it either. Just to add insult to injury, the P&O Board then treat their smoking passengers worse than livestock and with little regard for their safety too.

lf P&O Ferries had shareholders ... would this Board still be there? Even the Cross Border Shoppers are now stopping using these ferries and taking flights instead ... and who can blame them? Unless l'm missing something, this P&O Board must rank in the top 10 of incompetence rankings!

Oh and the complete lack of help for Cross Border Shoppers goes without saying!

P/O tobacco stock beginning of cruise

Baccy Cruise 2 ... Mission Accomplished

2011-12-08T16:07:00.003Z

Another great baccy cruise, excellent fun and met some new friends. Special mention has to go to Ziggy who drove all the way from Germany, took the ferry to Hull on the 5th of December just to come with us on the 6th December!

lt was a bit of a shock meeting Ziggy onboard as l was not expecting Ziggy to be a female. Don't know why but l'd just assumed that Ziggy was male (Patsy, you could've warned me!). Ziggy wasn't German either, she is Australian/German ... and great company she is too. We think you're a diamond!

Whilst l'm at it, l must mention some other fellow rebels of merit too ... Junican (including his own brand of cigarettes), Regular Tripper, Tom, Cobber, Shelley and Dave, the 2 Pandas and last but not least ... Visigoth and the Northern Hordes. Mustn't forget (l'd be in trouble if l did) to mention two special ladies who filled in at the last moment to take up 2 cancellations ... my mum Kath and her friend Joyce!

We made lots of other new acquaintances but alas l've forgot their names ... l put this down to the lateness of the night and amount of JD consumed by then :)

Bruges was lovely with it's Christmas market and ice rink. Although the weather was quite chilly the sun was out and very enjoyable. The sailing back to Hull was ... let us say ... an experience for a lot of the passengers. We had Force 8/9 gales to contend with. For those of us who were seamen it was of little consequence ... alas for others, it was something they will remember. We'd had a taster of the weather to come on the wayout to Zeebrugge and Tom was not impressed ... less so on the way back!

Everyone brought their goods home safely. UKBA were there in numbers but none of our crew were harassed and neither did they want my Merc in the Sked Sheds! So no disasters, unless you count Joyce giving Cobber a seasick tablet that turned out to be a strong sleeping pill. heh heh.

Sorry l couldn't spend more time with individuals as l wanted to.... but whilst l played at host, Zaphod once again filled in admirably. lt was also nice of Bucko to ring us and wish us well ... and on his birthday too!

So thanks everyone .... great to meet you ... must do it again sometime! Soon!

As for P&O ... more on that later :)

Once More We Sail to the Lands of Cheap Tobacco and Alcohol

2011-12-05T17:52:00.000Z

.... to meet old friends and new friends ... and perhaps foes, old and new, also. Looking forward to it very much. Had a great time last outing, met some great people who became friends and l expect the same this time round.

We shall see how much stock PO Ferries have onboard this time. l can't remember the last occasion they had full stocks ... maybe they'll do better seeing it's Xmas :)

~~Some~~ All of the girls are going Xmas shopping so l hope their guys can escape. Bucko would've loved this trip ... all the shops open and Mrs Bucko happily visiting them all. :) Anyway it should be very festive with all the decorations. Wonder if the UKBA will be getting into the spirit ... or is that getting the spirit?

Anyway, got to get on ... last minute preparations and all that, including checking the film crew are thoroughly prepared.

See ya m'hearties!

Liberty (Dir Shami Chakrabarti) responds to Cross-Border Shoppers plight!

2011-12-02T20:08:00.001Z

Liberty who proudly boast that they are Protecting Civil Liberties and Promoting Human have responded to our request to help the 70-80,000 people who have their goods seized by the UKBA. I gave them all the details about how the UKBA interviews are conducted. l showed how suspected drug smugglers have far more rights than Cross-border Shoppers etc etc.

My only request of them was they put up some information to help Cross-Border Shoppers. Namely to inform shoppers to use their right to record the interview and their right to not sign the UKBA officers notebook.

Liberty proudly boast :-

We seek to protect civil liberties and promote human rights for everyone.

"Liberty is also known as the National Council for Civil Liberties. Founded in 1934, we are a cross party, non-party membership organisation at the heart of the movement for fundamental rights and freedoms in the UK.

We promote the values of individual human dignity, equal treatment and fairness as the foundations of a democratic society.

Liberty campaigns to protect basic rights and freedoms through the courts, in Parliament and in the wider community. We do this through a combination of public campaigning, test case litigation, parliamentary lobbying, policy analysis and the provision of free advice and information."

Ah yes, l forgot .... you want to see their response to our request. Here you are :-

Dear Mr ########,

Thank you for your query which we received on the 27/11/2011. I am sorry for the delay in responding to you which is due to the large number of queries we are currently processing and our limited resources.

I am sorry to hear of your situation. Unfortunately, Liberty is not currently campaigning on the procedures of the UK Border Agency. Liberty is a small organisation with limited resources and must focus on its campaigning objectives, which include anti-terror legislation, privacy and vulnerable minorities.

I am sorry that we have not been able to assist. I wish you all the best and thank you for contacting Liberty .

Yours sincerely,

Laura Milne

Advice and Information Officer

LIBERTY

l bet you all feel very sorry for them. Their 'limited resources' can't extend to a few lines of text and perhaps a link to the relevant UKBA procedures. Atleast you can say one thing for Liberty ... they did actually respond and tell us smokers to f##k off! There were no other responses from the rest of these faux liberty, freedom, civil rights groups.

We're on our own folks. There's no-one who'll fight for our rights except ourselves!

Proud Father

2011-11-30T23:05:00.002Z

lt's been getting a bit serious round here a bit lately so l thought a change of mood would be appropriate.Every parent wants their offspring to do better than they did, live life to the full and if they can, enjoy every minute.

Both my daughters have been doing that, they've now seen as much as the world as l have but probably more. What is certain is they will definitely see more countries than l did for sure. Both are still in their 20's and they haven't settled down yet.

Today l received a set of photos from my youngest from Honolulu, Hawaii. She's a model and photographer and these photos are her in front of the camera. l can definitely now say she's ahead of me!

l'm a proud dad ... go girl !!!!!

1st training jump on route to solo

UKBA Dover targets Xmas Shoppers

2011-11-29T23:49:00.002Z

l've had a number of requests for help over the weekend and all have involved Dover. Out of 3 of the cases 2 vehicles have been seized along with tobacco amounts that are not in anyway excessive. They all answered the questions correctly, did not contradict each other, had never been stopped before and in effect could not in any way be construed as commercial. The 3rd case involved losing the tobacco but kept the vehicle.

ln one of the cases, the seizure was announced before the A-J's were conducted! l can't say much more about them at the moment other than that they were all in my honest opinion nothing more than the policy of disruption. lntegrity and honesty were not in attendance.

Unfortunately none of the victims recorded the interview and all signed the notebook ... even one who could not read or write! We shall do our best though.

A fourth case happened a month or so go and here we have a Review Officer that is of the same calibre of our very own Ian Sked. ln fact he could well take the crown off our Sked ! We shall bring you the results of all these when we get them.

On a positive note we've had one incident at an airport where the UKBA were told they were being recorded and once again they behaved correctly and no goods were seized. l'm trying to convince the person involved to let us have the video. Fingers crossed. lf we don't get it we still have ours to come very shortly.

So people, let's be careful out there. Record everything and do not sign the notebook ... ever!

Stay Safe now!

Oh l forgot ... our Xmas Baccy Cruise is just a week away! There are still some places left!

##Updated## We is in The Times, dear boy ... The Times, no less! :)

2011-11-26T09:33:00.007Z

We were asked to contribute to an article in the Times, Money section. The article is about how to keep your tobacco, cigarettes and alcohol when bought in the EU and then have to run the gauntlet of the UKBA. All in all, it's quite a good article and if you're a subscriber to the online version of the Times you'll be able to read it. Unfortunately, we are not and only have the dead tree version ~~but once our scanner stops sulking we'll put it up (if it carries on sulking we'll visit friends who have one)~~.

h/t David http://www.day-tripper.net/

Right click and open in new window. You can then zoom in. Or use this direct link http://www.day-tripper.net/assets/docs/111126Times.pdf h/t David again.

This was our full comment before Laura cut it.

" The issue is not the “guidelines” but whether your goods are for a “commercial purpose”. Regardless of guidelines, you can legally purchase as much as you like for your own personal use (including gifts). There is no such thing as “limits” or “allowances” when shopping within the EU.

If you are stopped, do not be evasive about the quantity you have purchased. Anything which UKBA choose to view as deceit, no matter how trivial, will be taken as an attempt at smuggling. Your goods will then be confiscated. Tell the truth about how many times you’ve traveled abroad in the last 12 months, who you are traveling with and so on. UKBA ask you these questions because they invariably already know the answers and are inviting you to “lie”.

Because UKBA use Civil Law and not Criminal, we advise very strongly that you record the entire interview on your phone/camera etc, as is your right (UKBA operational manual). Finally, do not sign the UKBA officer’s notebook under any circumstances."

Coming Shortly ... Exclusive!

We are in the process of editing a complete video and audio of an actual stop, search and ~~interview~~ interrogation by the UKBA involving 20,000+ cigarettes. This video is not like the stage managed garbage on programmes such as UK Border Force. This video shows everything as it really is (and what the UKBA don't want you to know) and how the 20,000+ cigarettes went home with their rightful owners ... and NOT confiscated by the UKBA!

Reminder! Xmas Baccy Mini-Cruise 6th Dec from £18.75pp

2011-11-23T11:25:00.001Z

UKBA Officer Scrooge

Well, it's fast approaching festivity time and what better way to start than a baccy mini-cruise to stock up on Xmas smokes and alcohol? :) Not forgetting Xmas gifts of same for our friends and family.

The last mini-cruise was a great success and we hope this will be the same ... except this time with tinsel and flashing lights!

So come along ... there's still places available. Only £22.50 each for a 2 Berth and just £18.75 each for a 4 Berth. Cheap as chips!

Should be great fun ... even if Scrooge (UKBA) turns up. Zaphod definitely wants Scrooge there ... he's on a mission! :) Ho ho ho!

Booking details etc HERE

FFS! What Computers and O/S do UKBA use?

2011-11-21T23:05:00.002Z

High Spec UKBA Computer 2011

UKBA tell me through an FOI that they cannot tell me how many vehicles they seized in the period 2010/11 because they have 120,000 seizure records of excise goods robbed off these 120,000 poor souls and it would take 500hrs @ £25 ph to go through each one to extrapolate if a vehicle was also seized or not !!!!

The mind boggles!

Tobacco Seized from N2D by UKBA/HMRC

2011-11-20T11:43:00.116Z

We've been looking at UKBA/HMRC stats so l thought it's about time we did our own N2D stats for EU Cross Border Shopping. These stats are for both me and Zaphod but also include friends and family etc we've helped and advised. The period is from 2001 - 2011. All seizures and attempted seizures were amounts over the guidelines.We haven't included any of the Appeals we've helped with from contacts to this site.

These stats are our own personal stats:-

UKBA/HMRC Seizures against N2D and Co

Seizures 9    Appeals 9 Won 9   Lost 0
(Note:- in only 1 of these Appeals we won did we not get back the Excise Goods (Sked Factor). This is still subject to ongoing legal action against HMRC as the compensation offered was derisory in our view)
.......................................................

UKBA/HMRC Attempted Seizures against N2D and Co
(Note, we class an attempted seizure as a stop and search that goes past the Initial Interview and onto the full ~~interview~~ interrogation that includes commerciality statement and the A-J's. UKBA/HMRC policy, as stated in the High Court, is that any stop and search that reaches this stage ... a seizure is expected)

Attempted Seizures 35

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Complaints to UKBA/HMRC

Complaints 10 Satisfactory 1 Unsatisfactory 7 No Response 2
(One of these is now with Ombudsman and ongoing)

......................................................

FACTOIDS! (looking for support)
(Note:- 'Requests' are just not one letter/e-mail. ln many cases it involves numerous correspondence)

Tobacco Companies

Requests 14 Satisfactory 1 Unsatisfactory 1 No Response 12

.............
Tobacco Shops Belgium

Requests 13   No Response 13

.........................
Ferry Companies

Requests 15 Satisfactory 3 Unsatisfactory 2 No Response 10

.........................
MPs, MEPs

Request 6   Satisfactory 0 Unsatisfactory 4   Ongoing 2

......................
Large Freedom/Libertarian Blogs/Websites

Requests 18 Satisfactory 3 No Response 15

...................
Foreign Office, British Embassy BG Bulgarian Customs

Requests 14 Satisfactory 4 Unsatisfactory 8 No Response 2

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Independent UKBA Inspector

Requests 3 Unsatisfactory 1 No Response 2

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MSM

You're having a larf!

Well FU Manchester Airport!

2011-11-17T19:54:00.001Z

I mentioned my experience at Manchester Airport Terminal 3. l was particularly incensed by the human processing plant aka airport security circus and the mindless drones that man it. They even had signs up saying that if you refused to have a bodyscan you would not be allowed to fly.

Well, Manchester Airport Security can take that sign and shove it where the sun don't shine! lf people don't want to use the 'pervert machine' ... they don't have to. For once the EU have done something positive. We have new rules regarding use of 'pervert machines' and the x-ray is banned. l do so hope your 'pervert machines' are this type Manchester Airport Security :)

Yes, l know l'll have to go through other screening if l refuse but believe me .... l'll make you pay!

h/t Schneier

Braveheart ... not brave, no heart

2011-11-17T11:29:00.002Z

FIRE chiefs “should have saved” a mother of two who fell into a disused mineshaft, her family said, after a fatal accident inquiry found her death could have been avoided.

Lawyer Alison Hume suffered “survivable” injuries after plunging 14 metres down the collapsed shaft in Galston, Ayrshire, in July 2008.

Her rescue was delayed by senior fire officers who showed “rigid compliance” with official health and safety procedures, the inquiry concluded.

The 44-year-old spent up to eight hours in the pit, developed hypothermia, had a heart attack and died in hospital

Firefighters had wanted to go down to rescue her, and 18 of them had been trained to do so. But their senior officers refused to give them permission, believing the situation was not safe.

The sheriff criticised Group Commander Paul Stewart, the senior fire officer at the scene, for saying the rescue had been “a success”.

Strathclyde Fire and Rescue said Mrs Hume’s death was “a source of enormous regret” but stopped short of issuing an apology to the family

Full story here and here

How to Record UKBA/HMRC Interviews/Stop and Search

2011-11-15T10:55:00.001Z

Firstly, when you are stopped by UKBA/HMRC you MUST immediately tell them that you are recording them. They CANNOT stop you as it is in their own procedures that they HAVE to follow. Make sure that you take a copy of SBC's FOI with you in case they try to refuse being recorded by bluffing or lying to you. The relevant paragraph is on page 8 under Excise and Civil Interviews where it categorically states:-

"Note: Officers cannot stop someone if they choose to make a video or audio recording of the interview themselves using their own equipment such as a mobile phone, video camera etc."

The reason we tell you to inform the UKBA/HMRC immediately that you are recording the incident when you are stopped by them is NOT you that are required to do so by law (you can do it covertly too), it is to make them behave!

Once they know they are being recorded, they will not use their usual tactics of bullying, intimidation, lying etc etc etc. The act of recording them has the same result on them as Kryptonite does to Superman ... they lose their 'powers' and have to do everything by the book!

As for equipment to use, SBC rightly says that we recommend the above Sony Recorder BUT this is not the only device we use at the time. The Sony is for back-up because it can record for hours and hours with no problem. The other devices we use such as spy cameras, i-phone etc all have a major disadvantage ... if the interview goes on for a long time (Zaphod 4+ hours), the spy cameras, i-phones etc will run out of battery ... the Sony will NOT.We did a test and it ran for over 12 hours and it still had battery life left.

lt's no use recording something so important only to find you missed half of the ~~interview~~ interrogation because the battery ran out!

We still use the spy cameras, i-phone etc but the Sony is the 'belt and braces'. Also remember that your mobile phone has recording capabilities too even if it is not an i-phone. Get to know your mobile phone's capabilities, many of them can do more than the i-phone l use.For spy cameras go to ebay and as SBC said just do a search for spy cameras.

SPREAD the word people and let's all MAKE the UKBA/HMRC BEHAVE!

Us Cross-Border Shoppers are no longer defenceless against the illegal and unjust tactics used by UKBA/HMRC. We can take away these tactics that UKBA/HMRC have used for years to rob people of their goods and vehicles. This recording of them is a game breaker ... USE IT & TELL OTHERS about it.

Let's show them that they are ACCOUNTABLE to us, the public! Let's FORCE them to abide by the LAW ... as they should have been doing for years!

SPREAD THE WORD!

Stay Safe

##UPDATED## ln just 1 year ...68,765 people had their tobacco/cigs seized by UKBA/HMRC

2011-11-10T14:20:00.002Z

On top of the 68,765 people who had their tobacco/cigs seized, 5618 of these poor souls had their vehicles seized,

The figure of the number who had goods seized is even higher in reality as when people who are intimidated into leaving their goods without an interview by UKBA/HMRC there is no documented record of this unless the UKBA/HMRC chooses to do such. UKBA/HMRC are not obligated to record such an incident immediately ... they can do it at their convenience. Heh heh, so these seized goods that there is no record of will ALL be documented at a later date by said UKBA/HMRC officer? Answers on a postcard please.

So, to the facts we've got through an FOI for seizures in the period 2008/9.

Firstly we'lll look at Maritime Seizures. These include all the ports AND get this ... the Channel Tunnel at Coquelles in France. Creative accounting? :) This total is 4,712 seizures. Oh l forgot! there's an extra 2836 seizures (the only ONE they put in their annual performance report). These 2836 seizures are cross-channel seizures ... perhaps they don't know cross-channel is Maritime.

Next we have Air seizures which total 41,765 seizures

Then we have Inland seizures which total 1,477 seizures.

Overseas Seizures are 132... yes 132.

All the above are for cigarettes only. The tobacco are as follows.

17,703 seizures. They don't break this down into Maritime, Inland, Air, Cross-Channel or Overseas.

Also they don't say where the 5618 vehicles were seized but they don't know what happened to them anyway!. They seem to think that giving me this information is not in the public interest! :)

How long is this wholesale state robbery going to continue?

Written in a quaint no-smoking restaurant in Bulgaria where they supply ashtrays to smokers. No going out in the cold for a smoke for me :)

UPDATE

l chose 2008/9 stats because l could get some of them from HMRC before part of it got swallowed up in the merger to form UKBA.

Since then stats are very hard to get because UKBA say HMRC have them and vice-versa. Even bloody Damien Green didn't know who kept the stats and he's the Minister in charge of them!

The 2008/9 stats were difficult enough as they only published Cross-Channel seizures of 2836. This was a blatant attempt to deceive the public and it is still going on.

SMOKING BAN

It's been a while since l've been back in Yambol, Bulgaria, The restaurants, bars etc had a choice of going smoking or non-smoking. The smoking bars, restaurants are doing well, some of the non-smoking establishments have closed down and the other non-smoking places now have smoking even though the signs say 'No Smoking Allowed'.

Lesson to be learned eh? Ah but our esteemed representatives are not listening are they? Fingers in the ears and eyes shut tight.

Break time! Now back in Bulgaria

2011-11-08T11:01:00.001Z

l expect posts to be light as l am back in Bulgaria and going into the mountains today. Internet connections will probably be at a premium :) Answering e-mails etc will be slow if anyone sends me such.

Have not flown out of Manchester for a long time and what a depressing experience it was. They have an area for controlling livestock aka Airport Security! Hundreds of passengers shuffling along lines waiting to be processed by drones with little sign of humanity. This is nothing to do with security, it's all about indoctrinating people to obey authority.

lf we are to believe that there is a terrorist threat one has to wonder why the Airport Security area has not been targeted. lt is so unsecure it is beyond belief and there are hundreds of passengers crammed into this area. All you need to get into it is a boarding card printed off your computer and it does not matter whether they are valid or not. The threat to freedom and democracy is not terrorism, it is Airport Security and the like.

Airport security protects you from terrorism as much as it protects you from Pixies and Elephants!

lt is just mindless drones programming mindless sheep!

25 x UKBA Guidelines and 12.5 x UKBA Guidelines brought home!

2011-11-06T11:16:00.004Z

Just a quick small update as l have to prepare for my flight to Bulgaria.

Zaphod was indeed arrested and unarrested once again. lt happened on our return from Gdansk to Doncaster Airport (where he got arrested last time). We got through passport control with no problem and then waited at the carousel for our luggage. We waited and waited as all the other passengers were getting their's. l was wandering around listening to my i-pod whilst Zaphod stood patiently waiting. lt became obvious that ours were to be last so it was obvious the luggage had been x-rayed on arrival. Game on!

l immediately went over and joined Zaphod as we knew UKBA's first line of attack would be we were trying to appear as though we were not travelling with each other. So, myself and Zaphod sat down together and chatted whilst everybody else got their luggage. The carousel then stopped with no luggage to be seen and just 3 people left waiting for said luggage... me, Zaphod and a Polish lad. Finally the carousel started up and the luggage appeared. The Polish lad got his first and he was away to the exit (think he'd be unaware of what was waiting for him).

Zaphod and l waited till we both had our luggage and then set off together and joked about what was awaiting us. We must have bemused the people watching us on camera. They'd either think we did not know the UKBA were waiting for us or were wondering why we were laughing.

Sure enough the posse of UKBA highwaymen were there at the exit and off to the room to the right was the Polish lad getting his suitcase emptied of all his cigs. The fun then started, we refused to consent to go into the room. We hit them on 2 fronts, Zaphod with the illegality of the stop and me with refusing any involvement with any UKBA officers as l had an ongoing serious allegation against them being investigated by the Ombudsman. l won't go into details now but suffice to say it quickly developed into a standoff whereupon we said we were going outside for a cigarette and once they had decided what action they were going to take they could come and tell us.

So thats what we did, we left with our luggage and went outside and had a cig (well a few). No-one stopped us, they looked bemused at what to do so did nothing to stop us going outside. l kid you not, we were outside with our luggage ... and not a UKBA officer to be seen! No, we didn't run off ... we were in 'the game' and it was getting interesting. :)

Finally they came out after 10 mins or so and this is where Zaphod got arrested as he refused to go back into the airport. l was left with 2 UKBA officers with whom l conversed whilst having more cigarettes. Finally, l took them inside the airport as it was getting cold.

What happened next is a long story and don't have time for it now but this l will say ... the UKBA officers were nice and polite and did not try any dirty tricks, use any threats, didn't try to trip us up with trick questions and were in fact ... jolly nice fellows. We took cigarettes breaks when we wanted and they even went and got us coffees when we asked for them ... and even offered us coffees when we didn't ask for them. We were truly astounded at how nice they were. How can we have been so lucky to find such nice and fair officers? l mean, we've never encountered such before and l'm sure nothing has changed.

Ahhhh wait, there is one thing though ... we told them they were being RECORDED and everything they said would be used as evidence if it came to a court case! :)

At the end, Zaphod left with his cigarettes (25 times over the UKBA guidelines, 20,000 cigarettes) and l left with my cigarettes (12.5 times over the guidelines, 10,000 cigarettes). We refused to sign their notebooks and refused their Notice 1 leaflets. We were not issued with any warning letters either.

We'll both do our own more detailed account of the incident later.

So folks remember ... make sure you RECORD everything and let UKBA know you are RECORDING them! Rest of the advice is on the site. Stay safe!

Special Mention

SBC ... we used your FOI to full effect. Without it we could not have pushed them as far as we did. Because of you, we KNEW we could record them and they could NOT refuse.They then knew that every action they took was recorded and were accountable for. Our victory is in no small part down to you.

ln your debt,
Zaphod and Smoking Hot

ps The Polish lad lost all his cigarettes. Alas, by the time we ourselves got into the Sked Shed his fate had already been decided and summarily judged upon.

Stopped by UKBA, Zaphod arrested AGAIN! 30,000 cigs.

2011-11-06T02:22:00.001Z

Yep! We got stopped and Zaphod got arrested AGAIN. Had 30,000 cigs between us.

We are both home now .... with the 30,000 cigs! More later cos l'm knackered and need some zzzzzzzz's.

Flying out again tomorrow morning :)

Travelling Again

2011-11-03T13:39:00.000Z

Got some serious partying to do with family in Bulgaria and then visiting friends around EU. Going to be great to smoke in pubs and be with people that are very possessive over their freedom ... unlike the sheep here.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch ... my complaint against being illegally detained by UKBA is now with Onbudsman. Been to actually speak face to face with UKBA and they are on with my other complaint about being setup in Luton Airport and false information held about me. These were frontline officers NOT the Complaints Dept .... they speak to no-one!

One thing l did find whilst talking to the UKBA was they haven't a clue about who's who in the UKBA. Some think HMRC still exist inside UKBA, others think they are all now UKBA. Nobody has a clue who collects all the data or stats ... HMRC? UKBA? BOTH?. Minister Damien Green doesn't know either! They all said that they have no direct contact details for the Complaints Dept except e-mails. The whole thing is a complete and utter shambles.

Don't forget about the baccy cruise ... come along, it's great fun whether you are buying baccy or not!

Stay Safe Now!

SH

Baccy 2 Xmas Cruise 6th - 8th Dec

2011-11-01T13:01:00.005Z

This cruise is 6th Dec and sails at 18.30 (latest check-in 17.00), arrive back in Hull 8th Dec 08.15.
(These are reports on the 1st cruise ... ours, Bucko, Patsy and last but not least Nomindeus )

We've booked and it has cost us £22.50 each (2 berth cabin), currently if there is 4 of you in a 4 berth it will cost you £17.50 each. Go here to book. Don't select mini-cruise, just fill in details at top of page. Don't select additional options such as transfers later in the booking. The meals are up to you.

Your booking details should look like this (shows returning 7th because you ARE, the ship arrives the 8th in Hull.

NOTE:- If you are coming alone, BOOK FOR 2! Put any name down as second passenger and we can change it later and that passenger will then pay you HALF the booking.

Both Zaphod and myself are going on this mini-cruises and we want YOU to come aswell. There is onboard shopping and also very good tobacconists in Brugge. The mini-cruise consists of 2 nights on the ferry (yes, you get cabins included) and a day in Brugge or Ostende. There is of course onboard entertainment, bars, restaurants, casino and so on.

l believe the Hordes are on this trip too but they will be going to Ostende once in Belgium. They'll no doubt show you the way should you wish to go to with them to Ostende instead of Brugge.

Some advice for travelling on the ship here.

What's not to like?

We aren't a travel agency and don't want your credit card details, personal info etc etc. You book it yourself with P&O and we meet onboard (or not if don't like the look of us). Personally, l'd be quite happy meeting you under your blogger names and id's. lt's up to you.

You can get transport from Zeebrugge to Brugge ... takes about 15 mins but we will have transport of our own too.

So c;mon people ... e-mail me at nothing_2_declare@ymail.com or go to Facebook if you're interested. Sorry about you Southern folk but us Northerners have had to travel to Dover often enough ... now it's your turn and anyway this is a mini-cruise.

Note:- Zeebrugge is NOT like Calais. There is NO juxtaposed UKBA Control Area in Zeebrugge.

Spread the Word peeps!

UPDATE ... now on Facebook

.................................................................................................................................

Together we stand, divided we fall ...c'mon now people let's get on the ball

LET'S WORK TOGETHER!

Baccy Cruise No 2!

2011-10-31T15:56:00.004Z

Looking at number 2 cruise for December. lt will have to be mid-week because it's Xmas Period and weekends are expensive.

Who wants to join the crew? 6th Dec? Yay or Nay? Answer quickly m'hearties

nothing_2_declare@ymail.com
07586334281

Now then, now then, now then.

2011-10-29T21:10:00.000+01:00

lt saddened me to hear Jimmy Savile has died. l met him on a few occasions as he was good friends with another friend of mine Jimmy Corrigan ... otherwise known as Lord Corrigan. This in itself was an in-joke that he ran throughout his life as his full name was James Lord Corrigan.

Both Jimmys were millionaires but it mattered not to either of them if you were rich or didn't have 2 pennies to rub together ... they treat you no different. lf they liked you, they liked you and that was it. Both were eccentric to the extreme, both grew up around Leeds and both were showmen. They also lived life to the full but also donated many thousands of pounds to charity albeit anonymously.

There are many stories l could tell you about Jimmy Corrigan although some l can't here. Jimmy Corrigan had the amusement complex Coney Island in Scarborough and he ran it as he ran his life ... having fun. He was once in a battle with his competitor over all things ...bingo. One would out do the other time after time until Jimmy Corrigan decided to go the whole hog ... he made top prize a car and ran for free just for the hell of it!

Another time he had a new Mercedes delivered and was set to pay cash. The smiling salesman went up to Jimmy's office to get the payment but his smile disappeared as he saw the payment was in loads of £500 bags of £1 coins. The salesman told Jimmy he couldn't accept it so Jimmy told him to take the car back but to ring his boss and tell him what he was doing. This the salesman did and after his boss had finished with him, apologised to Jimmy and then took the money. lt took quite a few trips back and forth to get it all and load it in the salesman's car.

Jimmy did the same thing with the lnland Revenue, who also refused to take the cash. Jimmy then contacted the Chancellor of the Exchequer to ask why the coin of the realm was no good. The Inland Revenue accepted the cash.

Both Jimmys were also smokers and it's a shame that Jimmy Corrigan died in 2000 as he would've relished fighting the smoking ban! It would've given him great pleasure to do so. Believe me he would've taken it on with relish. Sadly it was not to be and no-one with the means and the will were around to step up to the mark ... in the whole of the UK to my knowledge!

The 2 Jimmys are now gone ... and the world is a poorer place for it.

Busy Busy Busy

2011-10-27T16:34:00.001+01:00

Got loads of paperwork to sort out for tomorrow. First on list is a visit to HMRC to find out why l get no answers about removing false data they hold on me. l've e-mailed the Data Protection Unit and Complaints ... then snail-mailed them, phoned them, faxed them and all response l get is ZERO!

So tomorrow l'm invading their offices! Should be interesting! :)

Then it's on to my local MP to get an Ombudsman complaint against UKBA on the way. Entirely different matter to the above. UKBA Complaints Dept are not fit for purpose ... unless you are UKBA of course! They have more whitewash than B&Q!

I know too well their game ... take ages responding, respond with zero content and hope you shut up. Only channel left is requesting UKBA review your complaint which they do and you get the same response as previously. Then they shut up shop entirely and won't respond to anything. They know the only avenue left is the Ombudsman and they also know people can't be bothered and usually give up. Well, not me! Lets see what happens next.

By the way, if you think it's any better trying to get any response out of John Vine ,the Independent (yeah right) Inspector of the UKBA ... think again! To me it's just another place that stocks whitewash!

Reworking the Site in Progress

2011-10-22T10:39:00.005+01:00

NO Posts Whilst Site Is Being Updated

Keep Calling Back ... l'm On With It Now!

Since we first started so much has changed and we've learned so much more. This being the case l'm going to rework the site as the info is all over the place, some is out of date and some is buried. l intend to try and rectify that over the next few days so bear with me whilst l do.

In the meantime here is the advice we recently distributed on our baccy mini-cruise. lt's entitled

Don't Be Wrongly Branded A Smuggler

Looking back, it has to be said that this was one of our defining moments. We'd always wondered how much power HMRC/UKBA actually had and the only way to find out was to test it. This we did (and are still doing) and then we decided to up the ante. Our motto from then on was and still is :-

Publish and be Damned

From our archives, a defining moment (30,000 views now!) :-

Visual Message to P&O Ferries ##UPDATED##

2011-10-19T14:46:00.010+01:00

Dear Helen Deeble (CEO) and rest of the Board at P&O Ferries ... this is the smoking bar on the Westerdam operated by Holland America Line. She sails under the same flag as your ferry Pride of Bruges does ... the Netherlands and hence the same regulations. No, it's not an old photo ... it was taken 3 weeks ago. Pray tell me, why do you deprive your customers on your ferries of such amenities?

lnstead of the above civilised and comfortable facilities, all that P&O grudgingly (that is the correct word) give is the outside deck totally exposed to the North Sea elements.To access this area you have to negotiate very heavy spring loaded doors and raised steel gantries whilst trying not to spill ones drink etc. This is a feat even for the fit and healthy ... how in god's name P&O expect the ones who are not so fit and healthy to negotiate such an obstacle course is beyond me. Think here of senior citizens, the frail and the handicapped. Not forgetting that anyone who before they even attempt such an ordeal has to put on warm clothing to protect themselves from the outside elements. Even then, you have to take into account the wet slippery steel decks and all whilst the ship is moving to and fro.

Dear Helen, why has your Board devised and implemented such totally unnecessary and sadistic policies? Unfortunately, l don't have photos of the intended victims of these policies stood outside on the exposed decks of P&O Ferries, shivering and combating the North Sea elements.

However, l do have a photo of how Holland America Line treat these same sort of people, that is to say ... smokers! ....

UPDATE 2

Thanks to SBC we now how have some pics of P&O's 'smoking area'. Compare it with the above facilities provided by Holland America Line. Take into account that the pics of P&O's 'smoking area' were taken on the Channel and not the somewhat more rough and inclement North Sea. Also it was the middle of a nice day in summer and in calm seas.

(Word of warning ... ANY comments l deem to be offensive or whatever directed at the above female WILL be deleted and if l ever meet you l WILL take retribution.)

UPDATE

The Board at N2D have decided unanimously that whilst the policies against smokers remain at P&O Ferries, we shall :-

NOT purchase alcohol or drinks from the bars onboard

NOT purchase tobacco from the shop onboard (if they have any of course!)

NOT purchase food onboard the ship

We shall make our own arrangements and advise our 'clients' to do so too. :).

Reasons to be Cheerful ... Pt 3. The Baccy Cruise

2011-10-17T17:12:00.009+01:00

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. Well, we got academics, businessmen, anarchists, military, journalists, bikers (female), councillors, blue collar workers and that isn't the complete list. Special mention has to go to a certain forklift truck driver who has changed my perception of forklift truck drivers for eternity! :)

We were not certain who would turn up because we had announced and given prior warning through this blog to the UKBA of our intentions. Our blog is constantly monitored by the UKBA and that has been confirmed by our lawyers. Not to mention both myself and Zaphod who are certainly not unknown to the UKBA. You'd think that this being the case it would put many people off coming on this baccy cruise. Well we needn't have 'worried' ... the turnout was great and by the end of the cruise we'd made further contacts and friends that swelled the numbers significantly.

lt certainly was a fun occasion with large amounts of alcohol being consumed along with the 'smokes' of course and loads of laughter :) l only wish l'd had more time to spend with individual people but l understand Zaphod filled in admirably whilst l did the 'rounds'.

lt all began at arrival at the Hull Ferry Terminal where P&O treat us to 2 forms of security ... one for foot passengers and one for those with vehicles. The foot passengers had their luggage x-rayed and searched for alcohol because P&O don't 'allow' you to take your own alcohol onboard to try and force you to use their bars. We had forewarned everyone of this and suitable measures had been taken. Those that were travelling with vehicles were subject to no searches whatsoever! You have to wonder who thinks up these policies .. lol

P&O further compound their 'no personal alcohol' policy when you buy the spirits and wines from the onboard shop. They don't allow you to collect it till the next morning ... which leaves you with the alcohol for the return sailing. l can see a flaw in their thinking here :)

The shop has low stocks of tobacco but as most of our 'crew' had made other arrangements it tended not to matter. Some went to Brugge for their goods and others went to Ostende. Most people had pre-ordered their tobacco from Brugge so knew it was there to collect. Those that went to Ostende found that certain brands were not in plentiful supply or not in stock at all. lt would seem prudent therefore to pre-order before you travel. lt seems that a Mr Sked did this, he ordered well above the new guidelines and it was there waiting for him in Brugge .... all packed nicely in a black plastic bag with his name stuck to the side. :)

As for the amounts ordered l will only say that the amount we ordered were above the guidelines. As for the specific amounts l am not at liberty to say as it is restricted under Section 31 of the FOIA exemptions.

Now then ... Mr P&O, l have some recommendations for you

Firstly, it may come as somewhat of a surprise to you but the majority of people using your Hull-Zeebrugge services are going to purchase tobacco for their own personal use. This being the case you would think it would be in your interest to have enough stock to satisfy these potential customers instead of letting the tobacco shops in Belgium have this business. lt seems commonsense to me, especially so as your company is not doing very well at the moment. ls the person in charge of the retail division a smokerphobe perhaps? This isn't a one-off regarding very little stock that your ships carry on this run ... it's being going on for quite some time now. lt was like this a year ago!

Secondly, it may come as a surprise again but people who buy tobacco are virtually all smokers! So why the hell are you not catering for them? Just one small bar where smoking is allowed is not a lot to ask for. You are not bound under UK regulations, you fly under the Netherlands flag. Before you start coming up with excuses l should like to remind you that the Holland America Line with it's many massive cruise ships also fly under the Netherlands flag and they do cater for smokers and have bars that allow smoking! ls the person in charge of the bars division another smokerphobe perhaps?

You must be losing a bloody fortune by not having the above. A fortune that you can't afford to lose. l'd put money on it that if you did have a small smokers bar you would very soon alter it round so the small bar was non-smoking and the rest of the bars become smoking bars!

Thirdly, your non-smoking cabins ... nah, l won't bother with this. Everybody ignores it anyway! :)

Thanks again to EVERYONE that came and EVERYBODY that joined us during the cruise. Great fun and lots of contacts and new friends made .... not forgetting all the valuable new input!

l left the ship alongside Webbie's car from Daytripper (thanks for the meal Sun night mate) and got no hassle from UKBA. The info held on me seems no longer on their screens. All Mr UKBA man did this time was glance at the screen and wave me on ... a big change from them getting a cup of tea whilst they read all the notes! :)

No UKBA stop at the Sked Sheds either. Zaphod also encountered no UKBA stop and search as he disembarked as a foot passenger, they simply stood and watched. Our invite must not have arrived ... or maybe it did!

Have to start organising Baccy Cruise 2 now lol

An Excellent Adventure ... Truly Bodacious

2011-10-17T11:19:00.001+01:00

Baccy Cruise was a great trip .... thanks to Mr and Mrs Bucko, Patsy Nurse and partner/friends, Mr and Mrs Nominedeus, Webbie ( Daytripper), Visigoth and the Barbarians .... and all the others too numerous to mention now for making it such a success.

l'll do a full report later cos at the moment l'm knackered due to copious amounts of JD consumed and little sleep. :)

Thanks again to everyone!

UPDATED Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct ... Meeting up details

2011-10-14T00:20:00.003+01:00

Well folks ... tomorrow is the mini-cruise so had better do some arranging for meeting up. Ship sails at 18.30 so text or phone me when it sails. l'll then tell you where we are and you can come over and introduce yourselves. Don't leave it too late to get in touch as all mobile signals will be lost when we are out to sea. After we've met each other we can then go and have dinner or whatever and then meet up at a later time for a few drinkies etc.

Note, it seems the onboard shop has a new policy of when you purchase spirits and wine you have to collect them in the morning. They already do this for beer. One assumes that they think this will get more sales at the bar :) They sometimes search you for alcohol prior to boarding too. Rest is up to you :)

Shop does sell tobacco but has limited stock so if you are buying from there ... get there early! You non-smokers that are only buying alcohol there is usually no problem.

So, our number .... 07586334281

(Note to any UKBA onboard ... give us a call, come over and introduce yourselves ... we don't bite ... well, maybe Justine does but l recall that's only when she's making love ... or so l've heard ... allegedly. No point in you UKBA being all alone if your bosses have told you to come on the cruise. Your bosses take a great deal of interest in our site doncha know? ... they told our lawyers such. Hope you get all your drinks on expenses!!!! Be generous now!)

Update

Forgot to mention that the largest fair in the UK is on at the moment in Hull. lt's located near the KC Stadium at West Park ... and is called 'Hull Fair' :) lt's open from midday so if you want to have a look round, get to Hull a bit earlier and have a gander.

If You Help Cross-Border Shoppers You WILL Be Harassed

2011-10-11T21:01:00.004+01:00

This from the owner of Daytripper who does not smoke and never buys tobacco or cigarettes.

"6th Oct 2011 - UKBA hard at it again monitoring UK citizens (9/14 times now!)

Oh dear, stopped again! As usual, the UKBA Officer looked down at his list and this law abiding UK citizens is stopped again. "Congratulations" I say, "this is 9 out of 14 times I have been stopped, why is my name on a list of people to be monitored?"

The UKBA official responded that it was not a stop, he was just having a chat. Amazing - HE STOOD IN FRONT OF MY CAR WITH HIS HAND UP.

I am asked where I have been, what for and how long. I reply I am a journalist working, but why should I have to do this 2/3's of the time I travel?

This is in itself worrying as they know exactly when I left and returned. Why then the need to question me?

He then asked me why it was a problem, so I said "I am British not an East German, there is no need to monitor my movements". His response? "I have the power to take you into the sheds". This is the standard intimidation they employ. I would prefer to argue my case, but I'm British and being monitored by the misnamed UKBA ("Energetically using the UKBorder as the point at which UK citizens are controlled) is scary enough.

So, you don't need to be a criminal, engaged in criminal activity or have done anything wrong, these bullies have the power to scare you should you question why you have been stopped.

I replied " I know what that means" and drove off.

It is worth reminding people that had I not stopped, the cats claws (an immobilisng device) woud have come up and I would be prosecuted for ... not stopping.

People should also know that I do not smoke, do not buy and have never bought tobacco of any kind. And so what is it I did that excites the UKBA? How can it be criminal to shop where it is cheapest. My only "crime" is either crossing my own countries borders, or as I increasingly suspect, because they have more in common with Banana Republic officialdom that professional Civil Servants (being civil and serving the taxpayer), and like to use and abuse their powers to intimidate and control perfectly law abiding citizens who question their behaviour

Interestingly, despite a very high volume of lorries this evening, the lorry sheds were empty. Stopping drugs, counterfeit goods and looking for explosives? No, it's shoppers they clearly exist to control."

A Little Help From Your Friends ... for Baccy Mini-Cruise Part 2

2011-10-08T14:48:00.001+01:00

As promised in Part 1 here's the Excel chart for cigarettes the other one in Part 1 being for tobacco. Just enter the amounts where shown and it will do the rest for you. The password is the same as before n2d

Remember That Girl You Had The Hots For?

2011-10-07T23:31:00.000+01:00

... but she didn't for you! The pains of youth, eh? :)

A Little Help From Your Friends ... for Baccy Mini-Cruise

2011-10-06T23:47:00.001+01:00

Some people have difficulty with maths which can cause them problems with the UKBA if they are stopped and questioned. UKBA like to confuse people by asking how much things cost, ask for totals and how long their purchased tobacco will last.Contradictions or mistakes are seen as lying and frequently result in an excuse to confiscate your goods.

With that in mind we've done a little Excel sheet to help. Simply put in the price, amount, how many you smoke a day and how many roll-ups you get from a 50gm pouch and add the price of a 50gm pouch here in the UK and then it will give you the answers.

lt's divided into 2 parts. One is for tobacco purchased for personal use and the other is for gifts. Remember you should not receive anything for gifts from people and neither should you buy any tobacco for family or friends even if they give you the money.

You should know the price of your goods before you travel and the amount you are going to buy. So fill it in before you travel and print off. We'll do one for cigarettes shortly.

Download the Excel doc from here, password is n2d to open it.

SCOOP! Recording the UKBA/HMRC audio and video ... LEGAL!

2011-10-03T22:10:00.005+01:00

by Herr Von Sked

We've long advocated recording the UKBA/HMRC when they are conducting their interview after you've been stopped by them. This is because that their version of the interview is invariably paraphrased and then used against you. Not forgetting the many cases of intimidation and illegal tactics/lies This is why we also advise you not to sign their notebook as is your right.

The recordings we've done have always been covert as UKBA/HMRC don't want you to record them and tell you that you cannot legally do so. Well, lo and behold this is another UKBA/HMRC LIE! They may refuse to record the interview but YOU can.

You ARE allowed to record them! Who says so? ... the UKBA/HMRC in their own procedures! Yes, you read that right ... the UKBA/HMRC procedures say you CAN record them.

This means they will behave themselves somewhat better than they usually do because they will know they are being recorded. lt also means that you have no reason whatsoever to sign their notebook. Believe me, this is very good news for the cross-border shopper. You still have to prepare yourself before you go cross-border shopping but now you have the means to protect yourself .... UKBA/HMRC say so!

Specifically :-

"Excise and Civil Interviews

Excise Interviews

Where practical, interviews should be conducted by a minimum of two officers and recorded in writing in an official notebook or on a ENF1227 Record of Interview form, or on tape (Interviews).

Note: Officers cannot stop someone if they choose to make a video or audio recording of the interview themselves using their own equipment such as a mobile phone, video camera etc."

This can be found on page 8 of this FOI

There is lots more in this FOI but the fact that you can openly record the UKBA/HMRC is a massive step forward that deserves a post of it's own. So if you are ever subjected to one of UKBA/HMRC's interviews ... RECORD it on your phone, video camera or whatever ... you have a RIGHT to do so!

h/t to SBC for this. He deserves all the laurels! Well done SBC.

Q. HMRC, what happened to all the 5618 vehicles you seized? A. We don't know!

2011-10-03T13:01:00.002+01:00

"www.hmrc.gov.uk

Date
3 October 2011

Our ref
FoI 2249 -11


Your ref

________




Dear Ms Hawkins

Thank you for your e-mail of 7 September asking for the following information.

Dear HM Revenue and Customs, you state that in the period 2008/9 that you seized 5618
vehicles. You further state that the sale of seized vehicles for the period 2008/9 totalled
£4,259K.

I therefore request under FOI the following. For the period 2008/9 -

How many vehicles were sent to auction (l understand the auction company you use is
Wilsons Auctions)?
How many vehicles were scrapped and to which company(s)?
How many vehicles were restored to their owners?

I am answering under the terms of the Freedom of Information Act 2000 (FoIA).

I can confirm that the company the Department uses is Wilsons Auctions and would advise
you that, following a search of our records, I have established HMRC does not hold the
remainder of the information you requested.

If you are not happy with this reply you may request a review by writing to the HMRC FOI
Team, Room 1C/25, 100 Parliament Street, London SWIA 2BQ or email
[email address]

You must request a review within 2 months of the date of this letter. It would assist our
review if you set out which aspects of the reply concern you and why you are dissatisfied.

Information is available in large print, audio and Braille formats.
Text Relay service prefix number – 18001

Foi 2249 11 J Hawkins Foi Request

October 2011"

WTF?

Classic Cinema Experience!

2011-10-01T23:43:00.001+01:00

h/t Richard

Sneaky devious UKBA ##UPDATED##

2011-09-29T11:14:00.002+01:00

On Sat the new guidelines come in of 800 cigarettes and 1 kg of tobacoo. Since April 2008 the part of HMRC that was controlling Customs at our borders merged with the BIA to form the UKBA.

So where would you expect a press release to be announcing the start of the new guidelines for all people travelling this weekend? UKBA website 'Latest News' ???

WRONG! It's on HMRC's website 'Latest News' (28th Sep) and when you go to it and and look at the leaflet, guess what agency heading it's printed under? .... yep, UKBA!

UKBA's 'Latest News' ??? ... "Disruption of IT points based system"

The UKBA bandits are going to be busy this weekend preying on unsuspecting shoppers.

UKBA plumb the depths of deceit again!

UPDATE

UKBA have now put the info on their site! (They visit us most days haha)

Up to Date Full Scale Map of Cigarette Price Differential in EU and UK

2011-09-26T22:03:00.000+01:00

Click Pic to Embiggen

h/t SBC

UKBA Customs Controls in France/Belgium that don't legally exist.

2011-09-23T12:57:00.002+01:00

It's surprising how many people think that the UKBA Border Controls in France such as Calais, Dunkirk are Customs Controls, lndeed many a UKBA Ofiicer seemingly does too when they 'innocently' ask questions such as "What have you purchased" blah blah.

The fact of the matter is that UKBA have no authority or jurisdiction to ask such questions. Many a cross-border shopper think they do but it is in reality nothing more than a bluff by UKBA.

The Channel Tunnel (Coquelles) is the ONLY place in France where UKBA can operate Customs Controls. Quote from UKBA :-

" The UK Border Agency controls at Coquelles (Channel Tunnel site) are the
only juxtaposed controls in France that has the jurisdiction and legislation to
operate Customs Controls under CEMA 1979. This is outlined in the 1993
Channel Tunnel order. These powers are exercised in a defined control zone
and where necessary they have been modified to provide for the particular
circumstances of the tunnel."

UKBA can only look for illegal immigrants and check passports at all the other border controls in France/Belgium. That means they cannot look in small bags/holdalls etc or anywhere incl your vehicle (if you take one) that is not big enough for a person to fit in and hide. They cannot legally ask any questions or conduct any searches for Excise Goods such as tobacco/cigarettes/alcohol. CEMA 1979 (Customs Controls) cannot be applied at these borders ... period!

As Michael Caine never said " 'not a lot of people know that " So next time any UKBA Officer at one of these border controls starts asking questions about your purchases, feel free to inform them that they have no legal power to do so .... make sure you are not doing this though :- :)

Stay safe now! :)

## Important Update ## Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct

2011-09-22T12:01:00.002+01:00

UKBA Deck 5 Pride of Bruges 1st Oct 2011

One of our friends on Facebook has just returned from Zeebrugge to Hull on P&O Ferries. He has informed us that according to some of the crew on the P&O ferry, the UKBA intend to blitz the route from Oct 1st when the new guidelines of 1kg tobacco and 800 cigarettes come in.This blitz will supposedly continue for the whole month.

This will be bad news for the legitimate cross-border shopper who is unprepared for the tactics they will face if stopped by the UKBA.

The UKBA hype will tell you that they are targeting smugglers but this is a complete fallacy. Mr Smuggler is already exceeding the guidelines that are in place now of 3kg tobacco and 3200 cigarettes so these new lower guidelines will mean what to him? Errr, he's exceeding the guidelines ... duh!

Mr Smuggler is also prepared to lose shipments, it's part and parcel of his business. Not for him is the ~~interview~~ interrogation. He (or his underlings) will leave the goods and just walk away when UKBA say "You are not under arrest and can leave at anytime". Mr Smuggler wants as little contact with the UKBA as possible. He'll be back tomorrow or the next day/week ... he remains in profit.

However if an unprepared, trusting legitimate shopper gets stopped by the UKBA, the odds are they will lose their goods because they said the wrong thing in the interrogation ... and be out of pocket ... and be condemned as a smuggler. This suits the UKBA because they can then crow about all the smugglers they've intercepted because they know that virtually none of their victims will appeal against the seizure. Job done!

ln the meantime, Mr Smuggler will have a load more new customers ... all these legitimate cross-border shoppers who are now too frightened to shop abroad for their tobacco/cigarettes.

UKBA kid themselves they've won, Mr Smuggler on the other hand has definitely won.

So, to all those coming on the mini-cruise ... please be prepared, We, ourselves, are very happy that UKBA could be planning to be there in force. lt's exactly what we want and look forward to ... we have some plans of our own. Maybe some of you intend to make a statement yourselves or maybe you are there just for the jolly .... we don't know. All of you have booked independently and have no links to us so you can decide yourself how to proceed. We are not asking you to do what we do ... you can just be sightseers if you wish, it's totally up to you.

Join us onboard where we'll have a drink or two or three whilst we all share our thoughts, experiences and knowledge. Looking forward to it immensely.

Anyone else wishing to join us can still book as tickets are still available.

See you onboard!

What HMRC/UKBA DON'T Want You to Know

2011-09-21T13:17:00.001+01:00

ln the previous article the comments touched on this issue. l think it deserves a place of it's own.

Our friend Justine put in an FOI to HMRC/UKBA and asked for the TOTAL number of seizures for Overseas Seizures and Air Seizures. She also asked for the location of Overseas Seizures and what Overseas Seizures referred to.

She was told by HMRC/UKBA that Overseas Seizures refers to seizures outside the national territory of the United Kingdom ! (my edit ... no shit Sherlock)

She was refused the rest of the information under Section 31 (1) (a)(b)(d) of the FOIA which states :-

Law Enforcement

lnformation which is not exempt by virtue of Section 30 is exempt information if its disclosure under this Act would, or be likely to, prejudice -

(a) the prevention or detection of crime,
(b) the apprehension or prosecution of offenders
(c) ~~the administration of justice~~
(d) the assessment or collection of any tax or duty or of any imposition of a similar nature
(e) ~~the operation of immigration controls~~

(HMRC/UKBA then went on to explain their decision)

"The information you have requested identifies data specific to particular geographical areas
and modes of interception which if released would provide a picture or partial picture of
operational activity useful to those minded to circumvent law enforcement controls. This
would, as a consequence, adversely affect our ability to prevent or detect crime, the ability to
apprehend or prosecute offenders, and as a direct consequence, prejudice the ability to
assess or collect tax, duty or similar.
It is publicly acknowledged that our activities have forced smugglers to adapt the methods
they employ. For example, in their 2000-01 Standard Report the National Audit Office noted
that the introduction of x-ray scanners was ‘forcing more intelligent methods of smuggling’.
Releasing data specific to geographical regions would provide a useful indicator as to where
we concentrate our overseas activities which would not serve the public interest in
understanding the effectiveness of our anti fraud strategies, but, as outlined previously,
would provide a picture of operational activity useful to those minded to circumvent our
controls

Having weighed up the factors for and against disclosure, we have concluded that the public
interest clearly favours withholding the information. "

WTF? it's in our (the public) interest NOT to know the total seizures they made Overseas and at Airports??!!!!
How's that for arrogance? Get the feeling they are trying to hide something?

Justine was not impressed so she asked for a review. She will take it to the Information Commissioner if her review still refuses to give the info. Here is Justine's reply to them.:-

"I am writing to request an internal review of HM Revenue and
Customs's handling of my FOI request 'Number of cigarette/tobacco
seizures 2008/9'. Your Ref FoI 2119-11 14th Sept 2011.

ln the above FOI l requested the following :-

"l note in your Autumn Report 2009 that in Table 5. Excise Fraud it
states the following in the column for 2008/9 re the total number
of cigarettes seized:-

Overseas seizures 855m
Air seizures 244m
Inland seizures 180m
Maritime seizures 557m
Cross channel
passenger seizures 11m
Number of cross
channel seizures 2,836

1. l hereby make an FOI request as to what exactly is meant by
Overseas Seizures and specifically where geographically?

2. Also,what is the number of seizures for this Overseas Seizure
figure of 855m re 2008/9?

3. Also, what is the number of seizures for this Air Seizures
figure
of 244m re 2008/9?"

ln your response of 14th Sept 2011 you partly answered 1. but
refused data on locations under Section 31(1)(a)(b)(d). l fail to see how
giving the locations of 'overseas seizures' can prejudice
prevention or detection of crime etc. HMRC/UKBA have no
jurisdiction in EU other than at juxtaposed controls ... these
being Coquelles, Dunkirk, Bordeaux and Calais in France (plus 3
train stations for Eurostar re Paris. Also Gare du Midi, Brussels.
As UKBA/HMRC have no jurisdiction anywhere else in the EU l fail to
see how giving the overseas locations for overseas seizures can
compromise anything at all. l was not requesting a breakdown of
amounts seized per location.

You also refused under Section31(1)(a)(b)(d) to answer my FOI request for
2. and 3. Again this data on number of seizures that l requested
cannot in anyway compromise your detection, intelligence or
operations etc. l was not requesting a breakdown of seizures per
location (i.e specific airports, ports). All l requested was the
TOTAL number of seizures re Overseas Seizures and Air Seizures.

This is EXACTLY the same as the data you yourselves have produced
for Cross Channel Passenger Seizures (2008/9). You state you seized
11m cigarettes re Cross Channel Passenger Seizures and then gave
the TOTAL number of Cross Channel Seizures as 2836. These figures
are not port location specific.

l therefore request this same data as you yourselves produced for
Cross Channel Passenger Seizures (2008/9) but for Overseas Seizures
and Air Seizures (2008/9). l request the TOTAL number of seizures
for Overseas Seizures (2008/9) and the TOTAL number of seizures for
Air Seizures (2008/9)

Yours faithfully,

Justine Hawkins"

According to the House of Commons General Commitee and Damian Green (Minister for lmmigration) that although the UKBA have juxtaposed borders in France and Belgium they only have legislation for Customs Controls at Coquelles. Seeing as seizures need CEMA the only place that Overseas Seizures can legally refer has to be Coquelles, is it not?

Don't really think HMRC/UKBA are worried about that, what concerns them is the figures for the total NUMBER of seizures. They are obviously very worried about those figures coming out!

Why Are We So Unique?

2011-09-20T12:25:00.001+01:00

lf YOU are a Cross-Border Shopper, we want you to read this and read all of it! Then we want YOU to make a comment. We get between 3500-4000 visitors per week (not bad for a single-issue site aiming at just 25% of the population ... that is to say, smokers!) and the majority of you are Cross-Border Shoppers. We too are Cross-Border Shoppers but that is where the similarity ends ... we, along with a few others, seem to be unique and we want to know something ... WHY?. Only YOU can tell us ... read on.

Recent investigation results re Freedom of Information requests have shocked us to the core. Through our own requests and those of our good friend Justine we have been trying to extract the true picture as to what is happening with UKBA seizures and subsequent Appeals against Seizures. Getting this information is like extracting teeth. The UKBA/HMRC are extremely reluctant to give us this information and try everything they can to keep this information from reaching the public. However, we are nothing but persistent and do eventually get results.

One of our main objectives has been to try and get the actual number of seizures per year. UKBA/HMRC have no problem whatsoever in giving the amount of tobacco/cigarettes seized but definitely don't want to show how many people have had their goods seized.

Prior to part of HMRC merging with the Border and Immigration Agency ?(BIA) to form the UKBA in April 2008 there was a fair of amount of data released. Although this data didn't give the whole picture atleast it was something. Since the UKBA have been in existance, even this data has been witheld!

So, we started with the last time HMRC released the data and it showed the following for the period 2008/9. For the purpose of this post we are concentrating on only part of this data and highlighted it :-

Overseas seizures 855 million cigarettes
Air seizures 244 million cigarettes
Inland seizures 180 million cigarettes
Maritime seizures 557 million cigarettes
Cross channel passenger seizures 11 million cigarettes
Number of cross channel seizures 2,836

You'll note that HMRC only show the NUMBER of seizures for Cross Channel and NOT any of the others. You'll also note that the data is for cigarette seizures only and NOT tobacco (HRT)

So, what's the NUMBER of seizures for the Air Seizures figure? By taking the Cross Channel data and applying it by simple maths to the Air Seizures we get the NUMBER of seizures at UK Airports for 2008/9 to be approx 63,000. That's 63,000 people! ... and that's without the number of seizures for Overseas, Maritime and lnland! 63,000 ... got that?

How many of these 63,000 appealed against the seizures? 673! .... just 673 ,,, yep, that's right .... a measly 673 ... approx 1%. ln reality even this 1% is far too big when you consider the NUMBER of seizures to be added from all the Overseas (Coquelles), Maritime, lnland and not forgetting the 2836 that HMRC showed. A final realistic figure will be FAR LESS THAN 1%!

How many people won their initial Appeal Against Seizure? .... 15! ... yep 15! Add to that a further 52 as UKBA say approx 8% win their case at Magistrates court.

Now take our own personal Appeals Against Seizure. What's our success rate? ... 100%! ... and that's with amounts way over the guidelines. We are just ordinary people who refuse to be intimidated or bullied and that's all really it takes. Once you stand up to them you'll see UKBA are NOT remotely as powerful and clever as you think they are.

So, wtf can we conclude from this? Yes there will be a percentage of smugglers amongst these seizure figures but that isn't the answer because UKBA would happily release these figures if they were all smugglers ... and prosecute them. You have to conclude that UKBA would be embarrassed by releasing the actual NUMBER of seizures because they know, as we do, most are just ordinary Cross-Border Shoppers and questions would be asked. Parliament, MSM, so called Liberty groups/blogs etc would have to then take note. As it is, they are happy to keep it swept under the carpet.

How do UKBA get away with it? .... because of YOU! For various reasons YOU allow UKBA to rob you. Either you screw up on the interview, don't go prepared, trust the UKBA, intimidated by them, to scared to fight back and so on. No wonder the UKBA are so arrogant and do what they want, they know that virtually no-one fights back!

l'm not being nasty to you or disrespectful ... l'm just telling you the facts as they are.

Why are we, and a few others, so unique when it comes to taking on the UKBA?

More to the point ... tell us WHY YOU won't fight back?

One Way to Avoid Getting Stopped I Suppose

2011-09-19T15:46:00.000+01:00

Bits N Boobs- SBC

2011-09-15T00:21:00.007+01:00

It's hard when you're a pirate

..ok, that was a typo...no tits here (edit SH heh heh ... adds pic)...you can google for porn yourselves if you need it.

Just a couple of little things of possible interest but not needing a full piece to themselves.

*Holland For Cheap

*‘Free’Holland ...with every packet of cornflakes

*Prices dans Calais actuellement

Holland For Cheap

I’m off on a baccy run to Rotterdam this week. Going out on the night ferry and coming back the same day (and if you know Rotterdam you’ll understand why-it’s not so much a ‘City’ as a concrete Port).

Foot passenger ferry (Stena Line) prices from Harwich to Hoek have now gone down to their winter low of ₤34 ish each way and ₤20 for the compulsory cabin on the night boat.

Book with a DEBIT card and save the ₤5 Credit card booking fee.

Book via either of these two sites and save 10%-15% on top. Neither site seems to check whether or not you are a member.

The AA

MCN News

Total cost of my ticket ₤87. Remember that the price of tobacco in Holland is usually the same as in Belgium due to the Benelux and that, even with the cost of my diesel to port and back, even if I were to only bring back ten 140g tins of tubing tobacco the saving alone will have already paid the travel and probably a burger at MC Rotterdam. Of course I intend to bring back a lot more than that.....

Free Holland With Every Purchase

I was boasting to my friend ‘DSL’ online about how I had managed to save myself 15% on the ferry fare (see previous snippet) when he said “You shop at Tescos Online, you could have got it for free”.

A lot of you probably knew that already. I didn’t. They also can be used for the Chunnel.

Of course it isn’t really ‘for free’-nothing in this life is but still, instead of blowing your vouchers on luxuries like food...

Every little helps.

Prices Dans Calais

Had to email the well known english speaking ‘Bar Tabac Brazza’ in Calais today with a query about ‘tabac pour tubes’. They reply promptly to emails and were kind enough to send me their current price list:

They also would like to remind any customers coming from the UK to pre-order at least 2 weeks in advance to be sure of getting the amounts you want.

HMRC/UKBA to use Covert Lie Detectors

2011-09-13T11:59:00.004+01:00

Our wonderfully honest and truthful agencies of HMRC/UKBA are according to Dr Hussan Agail of Bradford University going to trial the good professors lie detector equipment at a UK airport. lt is going to be covertly done in order to fight terrorism.

Well that's what the doctor says now but in 2008 he said it was to detect smugglers and drug dealers. l shall write to Dr Agail and suggest he try it out on the HMRC/UKBA officers first and then publish the results. Then maybe he could try it out at the House of Commons? .... loads of subjects there for him!

How does it work? ‘When a person is being deceitful, when a person lies, there is increased brain activity and this is reflected in the face through involuntary facial expressions and blood flow,’ said Prof Ugail.

Humans were known to have a limited repertoire of around 46 facial expressions, known as Facial Action Units, he said.

These were used when programming the software for the facial lie detector.

The thermal camera focused on the region around the eye because the skin is thinner there, making its temperature changes easier to spot. The camera was capable of detecting a warming in the face of 0.1C.

"Sounds good eh? He's tested it out on 40 (yes, 40) volunteers who he asked to answer a series of questions truthfully and then lie ... he got an amazing 70% success! Yep, 70% compared with the traditional lie detector that has a 90% success rate. He thinks he can achieve 90%! Wow, well done Prof! ... and you want to trial this 70% efficient equipment (according to the Prof) at an airport? Err, no 100% then Prof?

The Prof also things that our wonderfully truthful and honest HMRC/UKBA Officers are "very good at spotting people carrying contraband and analysing facial expressions" (2008) but by 2011 he thinks "Border Control Officers are very good at spotting liars!" Prof you should be a comedian. No, l retract that ... you are one!

Our good Prof then goes on to say that he hopes to develop his equipment to detect Alzeimers and dementia. Back to testing it out on HMRC/UKBA Officers and the House of Commons then Prof? :)

2008 article 2011 article

Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct £20-25 pp !!! Book Now! We have!

2011-09-12T00:46:00.011+01:00

Ok, our crew have booked for the baccy mini-cruise and it's costing £25 pp (2 sharing cabin, £20 pp 4 sharing cabin). lt sails Sat 15th Oct at 18.30 and is back in Hull on the 17th Oct at 08.15.

Book from HERE .... Don't click on Mini-Cruise offer. Book from top of booking page as per pic below. Fill in details as per pic unless 4 of you or taking vehicle. Just alter them details to suit. Don't book bus transfers Zeebrugge- Brugge, Brugge - Zeebrugge yet unless you specifically feel the need!

Some of our crew are taking a vehicle and for them it's costing £37 pp.

For these prices you get 2 nights on the ferry with cabins ... what's not to like????

For all those who said they are coming, now is the time to show that you are not just talking the talk but can walk the walk! Get booking now ... the places are limited and will go fast so don't hang about.

Don't book transfers ... the rest is up to you for such as upgrades in cabins and meals. Those going by themselves should add a name (any name) of a passenger as it's 2 for 1. Let us know you've done it so we can fill the space for you and you get your fare back for it then.

LET ME KNOW YOU'VE BOOKED!

Book here

Your booking should look something like this (click pic to embiggen) :-

## UPDATED ## BOOKINGS! ... Baccy Mini-Cruise

2011-09-09T14:40:00.002+01:00

Bookings can be made from Mon 12th Sept from P&O ... link here

Book for the cruise sailing on 15th Oct 2011, returning on 17th Oct 2011. Do NOT add extras such as bus transfers to Brugge at this moment in time until we know how many are definitely going. lf need be these can be added later.

lf you are travelling alone .... book for 2 as it is 2 for 1 offer, use any name as it can be changed without charge. This way we can fill these extra places and you get the cost of their fare.

Book as foot passenger, there is parking at the port but we could arrange other parking too.

Let me know you've booked!

Savvy, m'hearties? See you onboard!

UPDATE

You should be able to book immediatelty after midnight tonight according to P&O

Guns! ... this ain't Hollywood!

2011-09-08T09:57:00.000+01:00

Am extremely busy at the moment ... hence lack of posts. So, in the meantime take a look at what guns really do ... unlike what you see in Hollywood flicks.

HMRC sell seized vehicles for an average of 66 pence each!

2011-09-02T23:16:00.003+01:00

HMRC have got it wrong ... surely? l mean, they must have ... right?

Look at this FOI request :-

"H Rauchen

2 September 2011

Dear HM Revenue and Customs,
l'm sorry, you seem to have

misunderstood my request. Allow me to clarify.

l was not asking for the purchaser details of individual vehicles.
l was asking for specific details regarding disposal of these
seized vehicles.

Which specific company or companies auction these vehicles off.

Also your figures for sales make no sense. You surely have made a
mistake?

Number of vehicles seized:-

2005/6 6,256
2006/7 6,293
2007/8 5,697
2008/9 5,618

ln your reply you state that monies received from sales of said
vehicles are :-

• 2005-06: £3,017
• 2006-07: £4,135
• 2007-08: £4,021
• 2008-09: £4,259

That works out as an average of 66p per vehicle????
Please explain how HMRC arrived at these figures if they are
correct. lf it is a mistake, please supply correct figures.

Yours faithfully,

H Rauchen"

Follow up request :-

"H Rauchen

2 September 2011

Dear HM Revenue and Customs,
if your figures are correct,

where and when can l come to view your current seized

vehicles in order to purchase a few?

Yours faithfully,

H Rauchen"

The eternal optimist :)

UPDATE

Got a reply and HMRC say they missed a 'k' off the totals. Damn!

Hull City Council Cuts? .... Hire a Tobacco Control Officer!

2011-09-02T09:53:00.004+01:00

Based in the Trading Standards Service, the post will involve working closely with partners in other enforcement agencies to reduce illicit and underage sales of tobacco through improving the quantity and quality of local information on such sales and through targeted initiatives. This will help to reduce the high smoking prevalence in the area and create a healthier city.

You will have a relevant qualification that includes a substantial element of information gathering and legal compliance training, including knowledge of relevant codes of practice relating to investigations and prosecutions. You should also have proven experience working in a multi agency enforcement or intelligence gathering environment.

You should be a good communicator and be able to establish effective working relationships with a wide range of partners. You also need to be approachable and able to communicate with retailers and the public with tact and diplomacy.

This is a new post and the postholder should have the ability to develop new solutions and approaches where there are little or no precedents.

Shortlisting: 2 September
Interviews: w/c 12 September

This post is obviously aimed at an ex-policeman. The mentality and methodology of Hull City Councils Trading Standards is straight out of the Inspector Clouseau School of Investigation:-

"Mr Parkin also revealed officials had carried out a survey of discarded cigarette packets at Hull Fair in an attempt to find out the extent counterfeit and smuggled tobacco in the city."

One has to wonder at the sanity of these people. Hull Fair is the biggest fair in the UK and attracts tens of thousands of visitors from all over Yorkshire, lt is also next to the football stadium that averaged over 25,000 supporters a week, plus it's home to the Hull FC rugby club averaging another 14,000 a week. Away supporters go to the fair.

Plus Hull is a large seaport with ferries running daily to and from Belgium and Holland. Not forgetting either that many of Hulls large population take their holidays abroad and purchase tobacco there.

So Hull City Trading Standards spend a week searching through all the rubbish from Hull Fair to find discarded cigarette packets with foreign writing on them. From this they expect to extrapolate meaningful figures on smuggled and counterfeit tobacco. FFS ... they're insane.

Now they are hiring a fulltime Tobacco Control Officer at £22-25k a year .... just in time for Hull Fair. lt arrives in Oct.

Beam me up Scotty!

Shelf Life of Tobacco .... From the Horses Mouth ... the UKBA

2011-09-01T14:26:00.001+01:00

Customer Service Improvement
Directorate
Freedom of Information Team
Lunar House 40 Wellesley Road
CR9 2BY

##### ###########
Web:www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk
[FOI #82453 email]

01 September 2011
Dear ## ########

Thank you for your e-mail of 10 August 2011, in which you ask: the specific time
period for UKBA destroying tobacco goods? What specific shelf life do the UKBA
state tobacco products have?; and what factual documented evidence do the UKBA
base their specific shelf life period of tobacco products on. Your request has been
handled as a request for information under the Freedom of Information Act 2000.

We are now in a position to provide a full reply to your request.

Question 1: What is specific time period for UKBA destroying tobacco goods?
Paragraph 2.15 of Notice 12A “What you can do if things are seized by HM Revenue
& Customs” explains when seized perishable goods will be destroyed:

How likely is it that HMRC will have disposed of the seized thing?

We will dispose of perishable goods (including tobacco and beer and all food
products) as quickly as possible.

The legislation allowing the destruction of goods is contained in Schedule 3,
paragraph 16(b) of the Customs and Excise Management Act 1979, which provides:

Where any thing has been seized as liable to forfeiture the Commissioners
may at any time if they see fit and not withstanding that the thing has not yet
been condemned, or is not yet deemed to have been condemned, as forfeited
- ... if the thing seized …is in the opinion of the Commissioners of a perishable
nature, sell or destroy it.

Questions 2 & 3: What specific shelf-life do the UKBA state tobacco products
have? What factual documented evidence do UKBA base their specific shelf-
life period of tobacco products on?
In 2003 HM Revenue & Customs were provided with a copy of a letter from Imperial
Tobacco Limited in which they advise:

The time that tobacco goods will remain in good condition varies according to
storage facilities, climatic conditions, difference in wrapping material used etc.

Tobacco goods should be kept at a cool, even temperature between 10C
(50F) and 13C (55F). they should be kept away from other goods which can
transmit taste and flavour, e.g. soap, firelighters.

The shelf life of the different packings of tobaccos from the date of
manufacture are as follows:-

Pouch and printed foil packings – up to twelve months
Tin packings – up to two years
Thermoform packings – up to two years.

The UKBA therefore consider that when remaining sealed in its original packaging
and stored under ideal conditions, pouches of tobacco remains fresh for up to twelve
months, and would expect tobacco to become dry / stale when kept for longer than
this when held in ordinary domestic conditions.

I hope that this information meets your requirements. I would like to assure you that
we have provided you with all relevant information that the Home Office holds.

If you are dissatisfied with this response you may request an independent internal
review of our handling of your request by submitting a complaint within two months to
the address below, quoting reference 19630. If you ask for an internal review, it
would be helpful if you could say why you are dissatisfied with the response.

Information Access Team
Home Office
Ground Floor, Seacole Building
2 Marsham Street
London SW1P 4DF
e-mail: [email address]

As part of any internal review the Department's handling of your information request
will be reassessed by staff who were not involved in providing you with this response.
If you remain dissatisfied after this internal review, you would have a right of
complaint to the Information Commissioner as established by section 50 of the
Freedom of Information Act.

Yours sincerely

Freedom of Information Team
UK Border Agency

Customs Seizures & Lawyers

2011-08-30T23:15:00.004+01:00

I was asked in my e-mails why l hadn't posted about this. To be honest, what with appeals we are handling, issues with UKBA and everyday life l'd completely forgotten about it.

lf you have the misfortune to have your goods seized by UKBA and then put in an Appeal Against Seizure, you may have considered using a lawyer. Firstly you'll have to find one that will actually take your case .... not easy! Then you'll have to find one that actually understands the ramifications of CEMA and Cross-Border Shopping .... even more difficult to find.

Lawyers are not cheap ... average cost 200-250 pound an hour. For that you'd expect someone who actually knows their business but everyone who has contacted me with their tales of woe regarding their seized goods have not been satisfied at all with their experiences of the legal profession.

So, l decided to test some the lawyers out. l joined SWARB (4902 users) and put to them our actual case that we had won in 2007 (without lawyers) to see what sort of reaction and advise l got. The only thing l changed was the date of the case. l put it as though it had just happened and wanted advice on it and how to appeal.

The replies l got were interesting .... to say the least. Then l left it for a while as though my Appeal Against Seizure had gone in and l was waiting for a reply. When l got the 'reply' l then came back with the result.

. Have a look see for yourselves :)

Taking a Break & D.I.Y. Dentistry

2011-08-26T14:01:00.002+01:00

Going to disappear for the long weekend ... no internet, no phone :) l'm tired through lack of sleep all week. Since last weekend my wisdom tooth has been giving me hell. Got an appointment for dentist at 4.30 today but had to suffer all week till then. Advice was take painkillers but pain was still there. How can such a little thing like a tooth give so much pain? Anyway, last night it got so bad l couldn't sleep at all so took to the JD. By about 2.00 am l'd finished most of the JD but pain still there. By about 3.00am all the JD had gone but the pain hadn't. ln fact if anything it was worse. My caveman mode then kicked in!

WARNING! Do NOT read on if of a delicate disposition. Graphic Content!

Decided tooth was coming out no matter what. Got some pliers and put rubber heat shrink on the jaws. Thinking was that hard steel and teeth are not a good match and definitely did not want to break the tooth ... just wanted it out.

Pliers no good! Wisdom tooth was at back top of mouth and not enough room to get at tooth. Plan 2 then! Got some signal wire (small 14 strand electrical cable), made a noose with reef knot so it didn't come undone. Forced noose round base of tooth .... OUCH! Tightened noose ... OUCH! Took other end and wrapped it round my hand and then stood up.

Clasped my hands together, counted to 3 and pulled as hard as l could downwards. AARRRGHHHH!

1 sec ... PAIN! 2 secs PAIN!!! 3 secs ... hands came fully down, wire flew out of mouth ... pain disappearing .... just dull throbbing. Forced myself to look down at end of wire now on floor and there is a wisdom tooth. Jesus it's big! l never realised they go in so far.

Relief is flooding through me at the lack of pain. The relief is overwhelming. Now l can feel liquid in my mouth and taste it ... l know its blood. Must sterilise where the tooth has been so go for the antiseptic mouthwash in bathroom. Damn! ... none left. Rinse my mouth at the sink and spit .... all red!

Antiseptic? what can l use? All JD had gone but then l remembered l had a bottle of Wild Turkey Bourbon, 8yr old distilled 101 proof. Actually l had a third of a bottle left and l'd had it for years so it must have been at least 20 years old.

Took the bottle, pulled the cork (yes, they have corks) and took a swig, swilled it round and spit it out. No idea what colour it was now because Wild Turkey is dark brown. Took another swig and where my wisdom tooth had been was now numb, it had stung at first at first swig but now by this second swig it didn't. Caveman mode was still in full flow so auto-pilot took over and l swallowed the Wild Turkey ... l know, but what the hell!

Found some cotton wool and shoved it in the gap made by vacant wisdom tooth and took another swig. Lit a ciggie, sat down on the sofa and took another drink. True Hamlet moment! At peace with the world and no pain!

Next thing l know, its 10.00am, l'm still on the sofa and the Wild Turkey bottle is empty. My tongue tells me that there is a gap in my teeth, a tooth is missing but so is the pain. Strange self-satisfying feeling of achievement. l feel great, a bit fuzzy but that's down to the Wild Turkey! My eyes lock onto the wire on the floor and what's at the end of it. l pick it up .... fuck me, it's big!

l'm supposed to be at dentist at 4.30. Should l go and freak him out .... or should l just cancel? :)

This is the second time in my life l've had to do major D.I.Y. on myself. The other involved a knife slash on my forearm and stitches but l'll leave that story for another time. l think l've grossed you out enough for the time being.!

Have a nice long weekend .... l will! :)

Play nice now.

Important Update Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct

2011-08-25T22:01:00.002+01:00

l've just received information that UKBA are after all bringing in the lower guidelines of 1kg of tobacco and 800 cigarettes. These guidelines will be introduced from Oct 1st.

Although this does not change the fact that you can legally bring in as much as you want for personal use and gifts, it does mean the UKBA will be using these guidelines as an excuse to stop and search more cross-border shoppers so that they can seize more tobacco products and vehicles.

Do NOT be intimidated by this ... your RIGHTS remain the same.

We, ourselves, will NOT be changing our shopping arrangements regardless of whatever guidelines the UKBA bring in. They are guidelines and nothing more. THIS is what the fight is all about.

Be PREPARED at all times. We shall give advice catered to everyones individual requirements.

The FIGHT BACK has begun.

H/T Daytripper

Status First Baccy Mini-Cruise Sat 15th Oct

2011-08-25T13:00:00.000+01:00

We have 18 confirmed for this trip so far which is very pleasing. l would've hated to have gone as Billy No Mates!

So, if any of you were holding back because you thought you'd be the only ones, you have, as the Aussies say, 'No Worries'. Get in touch via e-mail (nothing_2_declare@ymail.com) or Facebook and let us know you're coming. Join the crew!

There are some vehicles going so depending on numbers there will be lifts into town centre and back. When we arrive in Zeebrugge we have shoppers going to Bruges and Ostende. Either destination has experienced travellers going so you'll be able to get advice on shopping and transport etc. lf you just want to go by yourselves ... that's fine too ... everyone does as they want.

When booking starts on the 12th Sept please book without the option of transport from P/O. I find it expensive and there are cheaper ways of getting into the town centres. Advice will be given on this and if all else fails or you prefer ... the transport from P/O is still available

Regarding shopping for tobacco, l prefer Bruges simply because l like Bruges. Others prefer Ostende so it is up to you where you go. l would advise you to pre-order your tobacco though so you know it's there and not out of stock. ln Bruges you can pre-order from here. You don't have to put any deposit down, credit card details or the like ... they simply reserve it for you. Payment is in Sterling.

There is tobacco onboard the ship for sale ... see here, but be aware that stocks are usually very limited and they often run-out.

How much can you bring back? ... As much as like for your own personal use and gifts ... THERE ARE NO LIMITS! Be prepared though .. whether you are above the UKBA guidelines or not. Think of it as insurance ... preparation is EVERYTHING! UKBA will take it off you if you give them the chance ... make sure you don't give them the chance! Contact us and we'll advise you on your specific purchase intentions. For those buying cigarettes ... the same applies.

Some of the 18 (to date) going on this trip are non-smokers, they are coming to support us ... and have a fun time! Both me and Zaphod fully expect to be pulled by UKBA upon our return as we are high profile and a constant pain in the ass for UKBA ... that'll be fun for us!

Not forgetting that you have a cheap weekend away. Where else can you get 2 nights accommodation and a trip abroad for 20-30 quid? lt's worth it for that alone, never mind the cheap tobacco, wine, chocs etc. lt's as cheap as chips!

We want and expect the trip to have a party atmosphere and everyone enjoy themselves. We shall of course talk about how to deal with the UKBA and how to expose their illegal, unjust, corrupt, robbing tactics.

We ARE Legitimate Cross-Border Shoppers, we are NOT smugglers! We will NOT be intimidated by the UKBA! Time to FIGHT BACK!

Sign this Petition to Amend Smoking Ban ... lf You Don't Play You Can't Win!

2011-08-23T15:28:00.003+01:00

Request from Dick Puddlecote to post this up and spread the word which l am glad to do. Don't ignore it because if you do, the smokophobes will then say we've accepted this stupid ban because no-one signed the petition.

Click here to vote or click on sidebar symbol thingamajig like one here >

First Baccy Mini-Cruise Sat 15th Oct

2011-08-21T11:24:00.002+01:00

The first Baccy Mini-Cruise will be Sat 15th Oct. Sails from Hull 18.30 Sat 15th Oct and arrives back Mon 17th Oct 08.15.

Got 6 people already down for this trip. Let me know if you are up for this one and l'll put things together and send you details. Booking starts 12th Sept. Note that you should book your own trip but if that's not possible drop us a line and we'll see what we can do.

Note also that if you are travelling alone that you should book for 2 as it is '2 for 1' offer. Put any name as number 2 passenger as it is easily changed for no cost. Others can then take this place and pay you for it.

Feel free to ask questions. :) Facebook

Well that's what UKBA think we are :)

63,016 individual seizures at UK Airports re cigarettes per year ... the hidden figures by HMRC/UKBA

2011-08-20T01:19:00.007+01:00

HMRC/UKBA have never released the full extent of their endless onslaught on legitimate Cross-Border Shoppers. ln their official yearly progress reports they try to cover it up by supposedly giving these figures but actually they don't.

Take the figures from the 2009 report (P.41 Table 5. Excise Fraud) for the number of cigarettes seized in 2008/9 :-

Overseas seizures                            855m
Air seizures                                     244m
Inland seizures                                180m
Maritime seizures    557m

Cross channel passenger seizures      11m
Number (how many people) of cross channel seizures    2,836 (average 3878 cigarettes per seizure) Remember what UKBA guidelines say for Croos Border Shopping? ... 3200!

So you are lead to believe that only 2836 cross-channel seizures happened in 2008/9 ... but in the same report they say 5618 vehicles were seized!!! Mmmm ... so every seizure they seized 2 vehicles???? No foot passengers? Can't be right can it?

lt says Cross-Channel Seizures .... NOT CROSS-BORDER SEIZURES... so does that actually mean those that actually crossed the Channel and arrived in Dover and other UK ports? Those that didn't are NOT shown then .... so where are they? Ahhh they have a figure for cigarettes seized re Overseas Seizures and it shows they seized 855m cigarettes whereas Cross-Channel Seizures only amount to 11m. cigarettes. We only have border control juxtaposed in Calais, Dunkirk, Coquelles and Boulogne and in Belgium Zeebrugge (here checking lorries and freight). This is what is classed as Overseas Seizures and accounted for 855m in seizures but no actual seizure numbers (people)??? They are obviously frightened to death of releasing the actual numbers. No wonder when they attribute 2836 Cross-Channel Seizures to only 11m cigarettes <<< so they are getting only 1.3% in Cross-Channel Seizures compared with Overseas Seizures. So the number of Cross Channel Seizures of 2836 is also only 1.3 % compared against the number of seizures Overseas ie Calais?

That's a bloody lot isn't it? There may ofcourse be lorries with a million cigarettes or so seized Overseas but lorries get seized in Dover too. Can't handle them figures ....

Let's look at Air Seizures then and compare it to the Cross-Channel Seizures. Theres no lorries or cars involved here, luggage is restricted to 20-25kg. They state that 244m cigarettes were seized re Air Seizures. The figure of 11m cigarettes is only 4.5% of 244m cigarettes.

The number (people) of Cross-Channel Seizures is also 4.5% compared to Air Seizures then ... it has to be. Therefore the number of Air Seizures is 63,016!

Divide that number of 63.016 by the number of main UK airports (31) and you get an average of 2032 seizures per airport per year. Now divide that number of 2032 by the number of days in the year (365) and you get just over 5 seizures per day per airport. Not so unbelievable now is it!

This figure does NOT include HRT (tobacco) or Maritime Seizures or lnland Seizures or Overseas Seizures.

FOI's have gone into UKBA for their total number of seizures per year .... do you think they'll give them? :)

Average of 5,500 Vehicles seized by HMRC/UKBA per year ... sold £36.80 each?

2011-08-17T12:31:00.002+01:00

The official statistics from HMRC state vehicles seized per year as follows :-

2003/4    6,848
2004/5    6,093
2005/6    6,256
2006/7    6,293
2007/8    5,697
2008/9    5,618

ln their annual accounts HMRC state that it is not practicable to show monies received from sale of these vehicles ... however ... UKBA state that it is not practicable to show the number of vehicles seized since Customs were amalgamated into the UKBA on 1st April 2008. They do however estimate it to be over 5000 per year (from Feb 2010 UKBA)

UKBA do have statistics on something else though. ln their annual accounts they DO show the monies received from sale of seized vehicles and here is where it gets interesting.

They state in their 2009/10(Section 24) report :-

The agency also seized assets at the border. Tobacco and illegal substances are
destroyed but the agency did raise £432k (2008/09: £877k) from the sale of seized
vehicles with all proceeds going to HM Treasury.

And in their 2009/10 (Section 24) report they state :-

The agency also seized assets at the border. Tobacco and illegal substances are destroyed but the agency did raise £184k (2009-10: £432k) from the sale of seized vehicles with all proceeds going to HM Treasury.

WTF? .... they seize over 5000 vehicles per year, so lets be kind and use that figure of 5000 (the extra 500 or so we'll put down to people getting their vehicles back ... yeah right.)

ln 2008/9 ..........     that equates to £175   per vehicle (£877k for 5000 vehicles)
ln 2009/10............. that equates to £86.40 per vehicle (£432k for 5000 vehicles)
and their latest figures equate to .. £36.80 per vehicle (£184k for 5000 vehicles)

These figures are insane but they come from their own accounts so wtf is going on? There's got to be something else surely? .... anyone???

KARMA! >>> here!She gets no sympathy from me

Cambodian Border Guards v UKBA Border Guards

2011-08-16T09:30:00.004+01:00

Clean and oiled weapons SBC :)

lt was gone midnight when the Thai taxi finally stopped at the Cambodian Border Post after travelling miles on little more than a dust track. Not that you could tell it was a border control as it was pitch black so you could see nothing and was in the middle of nowhere..The passenger door suddenly opened and a bright light shone in my face from the border guards torch.He took the passport out of my hand, shone the torch on the passport and then back to my face. 'Ah' he said and then spoke my name, surname first and christian name last. l replied 'Yes' and a hand then beckoned me out.

I paid the taxi driver $100 even though he said the cost was $40. This was because he had taken me on a 6hr trip to Bangkok, slept in his taxi overnight and then picked me up in the afternoon to bring me to Cambodia ... another 6hr road trip. l thought he deserved it.

As the taxi sped off l followed the border guard to the border post. This wooden thatched 'building' could've come straight out of a Rambo movie. The inside was dimly lit but l could see 3 or 4 other guards in there. l could also see quite a number of AK-47's propped against the wall. l was asked to sit down at a table and then was offered a coffee and something to snack on whilst he took my passport to his desk and made a phonecall. The other guards came over to me and in broken English tried to strike up a conversation. l offered them a cigarette which they gratefully accepted.

As we 'chatted' l realised the situation l was in. Here l was at a border post that doesn't exist on google maps because it's actually in the jungle so you can't see it, no-one knew l was here, l had no visa for entry to Cambodia and l was carrying approx $1400 in cash (average wage at that time in Cambodia was $14 a month). This actual border post was only used by locals as only they knew where it was, foreigners certainly did not use it or even knew of its existence.

So l stayed there for about half an hour as they enquired about my life in England, what l was doing in the casino at Koh Kong, my family etc whilst telling me about their lives.By this time we were on first name terms as all had introduced themselves to me. This friendly conversation came to an end as their attention turned to the sound of an approaching vehicle. lt was the taxi that the senior border guard had requested from the casino l was going to when he had phoned them. l said my goodbyes, left them 2 sleeves of cigarettes and was on my way along another dusty road that did not 'exist' ... the locals called it the Campaign Trail. l had not been searched or interrogated and had been treat with courtesy and offered refreshments.

Fast forward to my return to Doncaster UK from the EU. The UKBA 'border guards' held me against my will for over an hour, refused me entry to UK despite having a British passport, would not give me their names or ID numbers, were arrogant, rude and dismissive, would not tell me why l was being held, tried to steal my cigarettes and refused me a glass of water.

Makes you proud to be British, doesn't it?

Zaphod gets pulled by Armed Response Police

2011-08-14T11:06:00.001+01:00

By Zaphod

I pulled out of a side street. It was late on Saturday night, in a residential area, so the music wasn’t too loud, (Free- All Right Now). Not much traffic, but I noticed that the car coming was a police car, so I turned it down. They do like an excuse to pull a transit late at night. (Is this some kind of “ism”).

He followed me for a couple of miles, staying well back. Maybe he was just going the same way? Maybe he only wanted to do 27 mph too? He wasn’t catching me up.

He was waiting for backup.

Another car caught him up, and then they both switched the blues on.

I stopped, switched off, opened the door, and started to get out. (I always do that, it takes away their first opportunity to tell me what to do.) He appeared at the passenger window, “Switch off and step out please, sir.”

“It is off, and I’m already half out.”

Out on the pavement, there are three of them. They’ve got the full kit, bristling with belts and pouches and exciting dangly things.

“Do you know why I stopped you, sir?”

“No, I don’t know why you stopped me. Why have you stopped me?”

“When you pulled out of the side street-“

“No, there was plenty of room. You didn’t need to brake, did you?”

“No, I didn’t need to brake, but that’s a ‘Stop and Give Way’, you didn’t quite stop.”

“So, you’ve got an excuse. What do you want?”

“Would you come and sit in the car please, sir?”

“No, I won’t. I object to being locked in.”

“Eh?”

“You’ll lock the door. I don’t like being detained against my will.”

“You’ve been stopped before?”

“I drive a transit, you like stopping transits.”

“As you’re smoking, we need to wait 10 minutes to do a breathalyser.”

“Okay.”

“I can smell cannabis on you. Have you got any?”

“No, you can’t. No, I haven’t.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Nice try. Good bluff. No. You. Can’t.”

“I can!”

“No. You. Can’t.”

So we all got chatting while we waited. I couldn’t keep up the attitude.

“Are you a musician? You’ve got a lot of speakers in the back.”

“No, that’s just my stereo.”

“What? They’re all wired up?”

They were quickly sorry that they’d asked. “Blah blah, kilowatts, amps, etc”

We were just four guys now, brandishing our technology.

“What’s all that kit you’re carrying? Is it all necessary?”

“You wouldn’t believe how heavy it all is.”

“Is that a gun? It’s a gun! Ah no, it’s a Taser?”

“No, this one is a Taser, that one is the gun.”

“Wow!”

Cop Two says, “I’ve got a gun too!”

Cop Three says, “I’ve got a Taser!” (Nobody was impressed.)

They weren’t a bad bunch of lads. We parted on good terms. They didn’t attempt to search the van.

I get pulled a lot, but I’ve never had an Armed Response Team before!

“WOTZ A BELGIUM INNIT?!” ... By SBC

2011-08-13T16:41:00.003+01:00

They, the Kids, were all sitting around the table watching me tube some smokes.

Youngest Offsprung (19) had had some of his mates come round. All of them topless cos the sun was shining, all of them with their jogging trousers almost around their ankles so they could display their boxer shorts to all.
...and that was just the girls.

Some of them on furlough from HM Forces. Not that any of them would actually know what 'furlough' means of course.

"Fur low?" "iz like 'poOO-BiKK Hair'(this is Norfolk) innit, ai?"

Yep, and that'd be just the girls. Again.

Anyways one of the little Cherubs asked me:
"Excuse me Sir, may I inquire where you purchased that tin of tobacco and how much you paid for it?"

No he didn't actually phrase it like that but writing in 'chav' for too long makes my nose bleed.

I replied "In Belgium and it cost me a tenner"

A look of confusion passed across their collective angelic little faces and then one of them posed the question that titles this piece.

"Wotz a Belgium innit?"

No, I'm not joking.
Anyone here care to defend the teaching profession or Blair's Education Policy? No?

Thought not.

How on earth does one reply to that level of mind aching ignorance? Should I have said 'a small continental nation betwixt France and Holland, member of the Benelux and seat of the European Union but has no actual Government of it's own'?

Not really an option seeing as I'd need to start by explaining the four proper nouns in that description.
However before I could formulate a reply one of the others, one of the brighter ones said:

"If you paid ten quid then that means you saved, I dunno, fifty..sixty..fuck loads of money. I'm going to drive there and get some myself, how much can i bring back?"

Which is the reason for this article.

Smoking Hot's Guides are brilliant. They should be required reading for anyone wanting to shop abroad.
Problem is they, the guides, contain lots of those 'word fings'. They were written by an educated literate adult for other educated, at least to O level standard, adults. They were written for people who can read a wall of text without moving their lips.
But the people keeping the White Van Men in business aren't 40 year olds who wore proper shirts not polo shirts to school.

I tried to explain briefly to the kids that it isn't just a question of driving over to Belgium and bringing back as much tobacco as their giros/wages will allow and that they should, under no circumstances, take their own car anyways.

I then showed them my latest SOT and the half inch of 'evidence' that goes with it.

"So that's like basically telling Customs to fuck off like?" as one of them put it....while the rest of them were backing away from the table and from anything called a 'Statement' like vampires at daybreak.

It would have been really helpful if I could have said something along the lines of:
"open the internet on your cell phones and go to "n2d ".

"n2d" tells you all you need to need and shows you how to do it. Lots of piccies and no big words!"

Basically we need a glossy online brochure of very basic advice with SH's guides condensed down to a very simple level. For example "NEVER TAKE YOUR CAR COS THEY'LL NICK IT" or "BUY TOBACCO HERE [map]".

And at the end of the 'brochure' a simplified Statement Of Truth. "My name is, I went, I bought, I ain't done nuffink wrong like"

Think of the Children SH, Think of the Children!

They did like the badges though but prefer different text, something like "Fuck Off Goonies!" they said.

Are you a Man or a Mouse?

2011-08-12T13:16:00.002+01:00

Frank Miniter has wrote an article entitled "England Used to Be a Country of Men" where he laments about what has become of our Country. He writes from his American point of view but it is has merit. He states that our various goverments have, over a period of time, made the population totally defenseless but worse than that subservient too. l have to agree with that when l see such as the UKBA taking advantage of this mindset of our fellow citizens as they meekly obey any instructions/orders barked at them.

It goes much further than that though. Recently we have been told we can defend our homes (well, sort of) but what about when we are on the streets? And what about our mothers, wives, girlfriends and daughters? They too are allowed nothing to protect themselves. All this is because we are told the police will protect us ... yeah right! All that happens is they pick up the pieces after the event and then return to their CCTV so they can 'find' the attackers. A little too late for our womenfolk though isn't it?

So, in order to defend ourselves and for our women to defend themselves, we have to become criminals ourselves in the eyes of the law. l'm not advocating guns like Frank, but there are many other defensive tools that can be used to incapacitate attackers ... and virtually all are illegal to own or carry. This being the case, in order to protect ourselves and our families from the muggers, rapists etc (and our own government) ... we have to become devious too.

So be it!

Excerpt from Frank's article :-

"Well, okay, sure, the English people did for too long accept the unmanly ditherings of Neville Chamberlain before World War II. Nevertheless, something has changed in the English character. These aren’t the proud men who once made the whole world look them in the eyes. I submit that one of the chief causes of their now emasculated spirit is the loss of so much of their individual liberty — like a child used to a parent fighting his or her battles, a people dependent on their government for everything cannot take care of themselves and are prone to childish outbursts.

By giving up their natural right to self-defense, for example, England’s law-abiding citizens have become defenseless both physically and psychologically. The loss of their right to self-preservation has created a culture of dependency on government (for protection and so much more) that has helped neuter the English male. This has also prompted some English citizens to blame the police for the crime rates that law enforcement is legally constrained from doing anything practical to fight.

Britain’s licensing of gun owners and the registration of their firearms made it easy for the government to take guns from law-abiding citizens after a mass-murderer in Hungerford killed 16 people in 1987. Within the next decade, British politicians criminalized possession of most handguns — the final deadline for turning them in was Feb. 27, 1998. (This is something liberals would like to do in the U.S., too.) Yet, few have subsequently pointed to the victims of this anti-freedom gun confiscation. The English papers haven’t interviewed victims of rape and other crimes and asked what they might have done if they had the ability to defend themselves from criminals.

Curbing violence, naturally, was the goal English politicians said they’d attain in return for law-abiding citizens’ handing over this basic human liberty; however, after the U.K. disarmed its population, England attained the highest burglary rate and one of the highest rates for violent crimes of the industrialized nations, according to the International Crime Victims Survey carried out by the Dutch Ministry of Justice in 2000. As the Guardian put it on Feb. 23, 2001, the study “shows England and Wales as the top of the world league with Australia as the countries where you are most likely to become a victim of crime.” More recently, on July 3, 2009, England’s newspaper the Daily Mail reported that “Britain’s violent crime record is worse than any other country in the European Union, it has been revealed. Official crime figures show the U.K. also has a worse rate for all types of violence than the U.S. and even South Africa.”

Meanwhile, British politicians have reacted to the irrefutable failure of their gun-control schemes by calling for more of the same. They’ve even recently banned starter pistols. Given that they’ve disarmed the law-abiding public and obviously can’t disarm the criminals, what else can they do in this time of violence? What some in the government would like to do can be chillingly found in a July 2002 English government “white paper” titled “Justice for All.” This paper argued that the government needs to: allow the use of hearsay evidence in trials; remove the double-jeopardy rule for serious cases, including cases that have already been resolved under the current system; and eliminate the right to trial by jury in many cases.

As the English hand their government more of their individual liberty — and thereby their self-reliant manliness — their government becomes more authoritarian. Individuals have diminished means for protecting themselves and their property, which should have made London’s looting, vandalism, and other crimes very predictable. I’ve had several recent conversations with Englishmen, who have led me to conclude that the English people will continue to hand over their liberty in the hopes that one day — despite all the lessons from history and human nature — their government will create the peaceful, socialist utopia they’ve long been promised.
For example, I recently broached this topic with an English salesman at my favorite shoe company, Johnston & Murphy. He commented that he’s frightened by America’s “gun culture” and added that Americans needs to drop “their Wild West attitude.” I listened patiently before pointing out that England currently looks a little more like the Wild West. He wasn’t swayed. I pointed out that gun rights are women’s rights, as they make the frailest woman the equal of the strongest male. He kept shaking his head.

So I used a largely forgotten piece of history that always makes Englishmen blush: After Dunkirk in May of 1940, only the British Navy, an outnumbered British air corps, and about 20 miles of water protected the English people from German invasion. In their retreat back to England, the British forces lost much of their firearms and weaponry; meanwhile, gun-control laws passed after World War I had mostly disarmed British civilians, leaving the English people helpless.

Aware of their plight, a group of Americans, headed by C. Suydam Cutting, established the “American Committee for Defense of British Homes,” a group that ran an ad in the National Rifle Association’s official journal American Rifleman that read in part: “Send a Gun to Defend a British Home.” The NRA subsequently sent more than 7,000 private arms to England. The U.S. military, of course, sent many more. Winston Churchill said, “We had become a hornet’s nest. Anyhow, if we had to go down fighting . . . a lot of our men and women had weapons in their hands.”

After relating this history, I told the English shoe salesman that “if your people ever need to protect their freedom again, Americans will be there for you.” He wasn’t so sure.

Now I wonder, after seeing that Englishmen strip for a looter, would it even matter?."

Full Article

Condemnation Proceedings re seized tobacco etc in Magistrates Courts

2011-08-11T16:06:00.001+01:00

There was an FOI put in to HMRC regarding how many Condemnation Proccedings reached Magistrates Court and there outcomes. Specifically, how many were won by 'the shopper'. The period the FOI referred to was 2007/2008.

The reply from HMRC contained the following :-

"Your question related to the number of cases in 2007/8 where ordinary citizens successfully appealed against seizure of tobacco through the Magistrate's Court. You also asked how many appeals failed.

As you may know such cases are dealt with by the courts as Condemnation Proceedings. During the financial year 2007/2008 there were 423 condemnation cases concluded in the courts in the United Kingdom, in relation to excise goods. Approximately 8% of these appeals by the claimant were successful.

I'm afraid the information we hold does not break the statistics down to a lower level than excise goods, so the figures will include a number of alcohol cases and possibly oils too. We don't have the ability to separate out the tobacco figures. Hopefully you will still find the information we have provided useful."

l personally find this answer a little strange. HMRC state exactly 423 cases went to court but those won were approx 8%??? Now l'm sure the data held does not say approx 8%, it will state the exact number of cases won. So why change it? ls it because whoever sent the reply can state his maths is not very good when pressed after one finds that the number of cases won was 81 ... which would be 19.45% ???

Also, one must remember that there are Condemnation Proceedings that never get to court because appeals are won at the Review stage. Our own statistics for this are 100% won!

Now let's remember them UKBA Officers when they seize your goods and tell you that 'Appeals never get anywhere ... we never give anything back'. Now that's just a downright lie to intimidate you into not appealing and when HMRC then resort to altering exact data to approximate percentages it compounds the lie.

Truth of the matter is 'YOU CAN WIN!' and far more than UKBA/HMRC will ever admit to!

## UPDATE ## Actual guidance and procedures for UKBA re interviewing cross-border shoppers etc

2011-08-08T22:42:00.004+01:00

Taken from Border Force Operations Manual that is still bloody offline! Mind, judging by the UKBA Officers l've encountered they've never read it! :)

UPDATE!

Guidelines and procedures for UKBA searching vehicles!

Freedom Of Information request re UKBA made easy! Make your request specific folks! Fill yer Boots!

H/T Debbie

## UPDATE## Time to SHOW you're Fighting Back!

2011-08-06T02:26:00.002+01:00

l've had some fun these past two weeks. A friend of mine had some badges made for me. These are professionally made out of metal with a safety pin fastening at the back and are 25mm in diameter. l didn't put any reference to my site because we are all Resistance. There are no leaders, no membership, no head office or anything like that. We only know each other by our blogger names and little more than that but that is where our strength is, isn't it?

We all fight the endless onslaught by government on our civil liberities and freedoms in our own way. We fight on many different issues and all are worthy and have merit. Some, like ourselves, concentrate on a specific issue. Ours is the UKBA and lately a little on parking tickets. Others are more general but just as important. There are those that fight politically and there are those that are activist. We are definitely activist :) Both are of equal importance and both need each other.

The point is, we are ALL Resistance in our own way.

So, back to the badges. Both myself and Zaphod have been wearing them on our jackets and they've attracted attention which has given us the opportunity to spread the word about what we are doing Most people don't really know what is going on because they depend on the MSM for the news and information. We've been able to open their eyes a little and direct them to what is really going on. Of course we've directed them to our site but from there they go onto our links to you guys. Don't get me wrong, we haven't been inundated by thousands. lt's just been a small number but it's people we would never have reached by the internet. We've taken our message out onto the streets and that has to be positive. We've sold a few of the badges too ... even my mother and stepfather have one (l gave them theirs). My stepfather is a Normandy Vet and his badge is now on his RNA jacket along with his medals and other association badges. l'm rather proud of that.

So, l've put the remaining badges up on Ebay here. l only have 25 up on there and 12 at home but if they all go l'll get some more made. Jeez, Ebay know how to charge though, they want insertion fees, then 10% of final price etc and then Paypal want their cut aswell. l've kept the price as low as l can, which is only £1.50 incl p&p.lf you haven't got or don't want to use Paypal, just contact us by e-mail and we'll sort something out.

l'd love to bump into someone in the future wearing one ... that'd be a buzz but regardless of that, we will be wearing ours on the Baccy Mini Cruises in OCT/DEC. Maybe others going on these trips will do the same? :)

After all, we are all 'THE RESISTANCE'

NEWS!

ln our particular fight with UKBA we have just received a letter from victims of the UKBA. A couple only had 6kg of tobacco between them but UKBA seized it . The couple appealed but were frightened off by the UKBA threatening them with costs so they cancelled their appeal. UKBA still went ahead with the court appeal in their absence and got the magistrate to award costs against this couple of £2669.50 ... l kid you not! l'm currently going through all their paperwork to see what we can do.

UPDATE

Thanks for the great response. lt's heartening to see we have people willing to take it out on the streets. l've spoken to my friend and he assures me he can get me another 25 or so badges by Mon am. That being the case, l've added 25 to the number of badges available as the post office is not open till Mon anyway. lf he gets me more than 25 l'll revise the stock again. THE RESISTANCE grows! :)

The Battle Against Parking Tickets 26,27 & 28. (1 to 25 won!)

2011-08-04T12:26:00.000+01:00

Zaphod has wrote about this at his place so pop over and take a look. When we finally got in court, we made 2 appearances. One for approx 4 mins where they asked us to leave so they could confer ... and one for 6 mins where we got a result. Well, sort of!

Just a small point if you are ever in court for these things or indeed fighting the UKBA. Get a friend suitably business like dressed to sit in the public gallery with a notebook and pen. Your friend can be writing out their shopping list or writing to their mum for all it matters. lt makes the magistrates very wary because they have no idea who this person is so they tend to behave themselves as they feel they are under scrutiny. :) Your friend does not have to account for being there ... they are simply a member of the public but the magistrates don't know that!

To Battle! ... 25 Parking Tickets Beaten ... Now for 26, 27 & 28.

2011-08-01T23:45:00.001+01:00

Tomorrow l am accompanying Zaphod to court to fight another batch of parking tickets. l don't know what the number is now but l think it's 27 or 28. Zaphod will have to tell you the correct figure.

As with the UKBA, we have not lost. That's right, we have won all the battles against parking tickets ... period! Tomorrow l expect the same result.

To be fair, it's Zaphod who takes the laurels for this as even if a ticket gets put on my Merc ... he takes it and fights it.

"The Spartans do not inquire how many the enemy are, but where they are." AGIS II 427 B.C."

## UPDATED ## Reply from Boris at Bulgarian Customs. WTF?

2011-07-29T19:51:00.001+01:00

I asked Bulgarian Customs if the airport shop at Burgas, Bulgaria was allowed to sell cigarettes marked "Duty Free Only" as "EU Duty Paid". This relates to this earlier post.

Boris kindly replied but as to what his reply actually says, l am unsure to say the least.

Any ideas anyone? SBC?

UPDATE

These are the duty paid stickers. The sticker gives the year and you'll note on the lhs of the sticker it has the price 3.90 lev as set by the BG government. Other EU countries do this ... oh wait .... not the UK .... they allow retailers to rip you off too ... once the government has ripped you off of course with their extortionate tax!

## UPDATED## Baccy Mini-Cruise Offer ... Not To Be Missed!

2011-07-27T13:29:00.008+01:00

From beginning of OCT to the end of DEC P&O Ferries will be offering a 2 for 1 deal for mini-cruises from Hull to Zeebrugge.

Both Zaphod and myself will be going on these mini-cruises and we want YOU to come aswell. Last year we paid as little as £22.50 per person! There is onboard shopping and also very good tobacconists in Brugge. The mini-cruise consists of 2 nights on the ferry (yes, you get cabins included) and a day in Brugge. There is of course onboard entertainment, bars, restaurants, casino and so on.

We want to meet you ALL and in doing so exchange ideas, information, experiences and the like on the issues of cross-border shopping and the smoking ban AND you'll be sticking two fingers up to the government by purchasing your tobacco at approx a third of the price in the UK!

What's not to like?

This beats the hell out of holding meetings etc in hotels, conference rooms because it pays for itself. lf you've got any ideas of your own, let us know and we'll put them up. We aren't in charge of this, you are. You can do what you want. However we will be there to guide you and give you advice if you so wish.

We aren't a travel agency and don't want your credit card details, personal info etc etc. You book it yourself with P&O and we meet onboard (or not if don't like the look of us). Personally, l'd be quite happy meeting you under your blogger names and id's. lt's up to you.

l see most people being interested in the weekend trips ... these would sail at 18.30 Fri and get back 08.15 Sun or sail 18.30 Sat and get back 09.15 Mon.We will look at mid-week if enough are interested You can get transport from Zeebrugge to Brugge ... takes about 15 mins but we will have transport of our own too.

So c;mon people ... e-mail me at nothing_2_declare@ymail.com or go to Facebook if you're interested (choose a few suitable dates and l'll take it from there) Booking will start on 12th Sept for OCT-DEC mini-cruises. Sorry about you Southern folk but us Northerners have had to travel to Dover often enough ... now it's your turn and anyway this is a mini-cruise.

Note:- Zeebrugge is NOT like Calais. There is NO juxtaposed UKBA Control Area in Zeebrugge.

Spread the Word peeps!

UPDATE ... now on Facebook

UPDATE 2 Regarding booking, if you are planning on coming by yourself please book for 2 and put any name you like as the 2nd traveller. By doing this we should be able to fill that 2nd traveller position with someone else who is travelling by themself. Note:- P&O have a policy that even if you book for 2 and the 2nd traveller does not come or you book a single ... that they have the right to use and fill that cabin vacancy. This means you will be travelling with a stranger in your cabin.Better it be one of 'our' strangers m'thinks!
Changing names on bookings with P&O is free, unlike airlines.

2. We have some non-smokers going just for the jolly. We will have a vacancy for someone like this to travel in a vehicle but please note that NO tobacco will be allowed to be brought back in the vehicle. This is because the vehicle can be and may be seized by UKBA. The UKBA don't have to justify their decision to seize it, they only have to 'believe' the vehicle is being used to carry goods for a commercial purpose. Yes, we'd get the vehicle back but that would be months later. Would the UKBA be so petty and vindictive? ... damn right they would! ... and have on many occasions!

.................................................................................................................................

Together we stand, divided we fall ...c'mon now people let's get on the ball

LET'S WORK TOGETHER!

UKBA Guidelines of 1kg tobacco and 800 cigarettes NOT coming in this year!

2011-07-26T23:09:00.000+01:00

UKBA seemingly have changed their mind about implementing the new guidlelines of 1kg tobacco and 800 cigarettes this year. This info comes from Daytripper and l find them a reliable source. The owner is a straight up guy and runs an informative site for cross-border shoppers.Go take a look.

Be careful if stopped by the UKBA though, they are not to be trusted. Current events certainly suggest that they wouldn't try to use these new guidelines in order to seize your goods. So if they try and say that these new guidelines are in force ... they are lying!

Don't be fooled by guidelines ... they are not limits or allowances ... simply guidelines.

We'll do our best to keep you updated on these new guidelines ... UKBA may change their mind next week!!!!

Nothing 2 Declare

The Day We Beat and Outed the UKBA In Court!

.... And They'll Call This Justice?

UKBA Operations Manual now online

Plain Packaging Regs Passed in House of Commons

DEATH Cigarettes ... the honest cigarette

Part 2 Exclusive! Real life UKBA/Customs Stop and Search and Interview

Exclusive! Scoop! Real life video of UKBA/Customs Stop and Search.

New Years Eve Party Brings On Pink Elephants

N2D's Person of the Year 2011

Closed for the Festive Period

The Xmas It Rained Money

The terrible consequences of Second Hand Smoke in pubs

Dangerous Times at N2D HQ

Xmas message to UKBA

How P/O Ferries treat smokers ... by choice!

Baccy Cruise 2 ... Mission Accomplished

Once More We Sail to the Lands of Cheap Tobacco and Alcohol

Liberty (Dir Shami Chakrabarti) responds to Cross-Border Shoppers plight!

Proud Father

UKBA Dover targets Xmas Shoppers

##Updated## We is in The Times, dear boy ... The Times, no less! :)

Reminder! Xmas Baccy Mini-Cruise 6th Dec from £18.75pp

FFS! What Computers and O/S do UKBA use?

Tobacco Seized from N2D by UKBA/HMRC

Well FU Manchester Airport!

Braveheart ... not brave, no heart

How to Record UKBA/HMRC Interviews/Stop and Search

##UPDATED## ln just 1 year ...68,765 people had their tobacco/cigs seized by UKBA/HMRC

Break time! Now back in Bulgaria

25 x UKBA Guidelines and 12.5 x UKBA Guidelines brought home!

Stopped by UKBA, Zaphod arrested AGAIN! 30,000 cigs.

Travelling Again

Baccy 2 Xmas Cruise 6th - 8th Dec

Baccy Cruise No 2!

Now then, now then, now then.

Busy Busy Busy

Reworking the Site in Progress

Visual Message to P&O Ferries ##UPDATED##

Reasons to be Cheerful ... Pt 3. The Baccy Cruise

An Excellent Adventure ... Truly Bodacious

** UPDATED ** Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct ... Meeting up details

If You Help Cross-Border Shoppers You WILL Be Harassed

A Little Help From Your Friends ... for Baccy Mini-Cruise Part 2

Remember That Girl You Had The Hots For?

A Little Help From Your Friends ... for Baccy Mini-Cruise

SCOOP! Recording the UKBA/HMRC audio and video ... LEGAL!

Q. HMRC, what happened to all the 5618 vehicles you seized? A. We don't know!

Classic Cinema Experience!

Sneaky devious UKBA ##UPDATED##

Up to Date Full Scale Map of Cigarette Price Differential in EU and UK

UKBA Customs Controls in France/Belgium that don't legally exist.

## Important Update ## Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct

What HMRC/UKBA DON'T Want You to Know

Why Are We So Unique?

One Way to Avoid Getting Stopped I Suppose

Bits N Boobs- SBC

HMRC/UKBA to use Covert Lie Detectors

Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct £20-25 pp !!! Book Now! We have!

## UPDATED ## BOOKINGS! ... Baccy Mini-Cruise

Guns! ... this ain't Hollywood!

HMRC sell seized vehicles for an average of 66 pence each!

"H Rauchen2 September 2011

"H Rauchen2 September 2011

Hull City Council Cuts? .... Hire a Tobacco Control Officer!

Shelf Life of Tobacco .... From the Horses Mouth ... the UKBA

Customs Seizures & Lawyers

Taking a Break & D.I.Y. Dentistry

**Important Update** Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct

**Status** First Baccy Mini-Cruise Sat 15th Oct

Sign this Petition to Amend Smoking Ban ... lf You Don't Play You Can't Win!

First Baccy Mini-Cruise Sat 15th Oct

63,016 individual seizures at UK Airports re cigarettes per year ... the hidden figures by HMRC/UKBA

Average of 5,500 Vehicles seized by HMRC/UKBA per year ... sold £36.80 each?

Cambodian Border Guards v UKBA Border Guards

Zaphod gets pulled by Armed Response Police

“WOTZ A BELGIUM INNIT?!” ... By SBC

Are you a Man or a Mouse?

Condemnation Proceedings re seized tobacco etc in Magistrates Courts

## UPDATE ## Actual guidance and procedures for UKBA re interviewing cross-border shoppers etc

UPDATED Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct ... Meeting up details

"H Rauchen

2 September 2011

"H Rauchen

2 September 2011

Important Update Baccy Mini-Cruise 15th Oct

Status First Baccy Mini-Cruise Sat 15th Oct